


Dreams Gone By

by animationisart



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-16
Updated: 2013-11-16
Packaged: 2018-01-01 19:08:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 23
Words: 63,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1047533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/animationisart/pseuds/animationisart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Strings of memories and bad decisions. When Azula finally gets a chance to be free, can she learn how to forgive all those who hurt her or did her wrong in the past?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_“Azula, this is Ty Lee. She’s here to play with you today.” The six year old child could not comprehend why her mother kept trying to find other girls to play with her. She had no interest in them. She would much rather be playing with her older cousin, who would play war with her. Or she would rather be training with her father. Why her mother insisted she spend time with girls was beyond her. Wasn’t spending time with her silly little sister good enough? It was already annoying enough to play with that little four year old every day for an hour. The little Princess that no one really cared about. No one looked at her, she was even less valuable than Zuko. They were just going to marry her off to the noble willing to pay the most. And maybe that’s why Azula played with her, because she felt a twinge of guilt._   
_Azula looked at the little girl in front of her without much interest. She wore pink, a horribly blindingly girly color that had no place in the royal palace. At least all of the other girls had worn red. The other girl looked like she was assessing Azula as well, and her face suddenly broke out into a large smile. That startled Azula, as most little girls didn’t like her. They didn’t smile, or even pretend to be interested by her. They mostly feared her, feared her like no one else ever would. She didn’t know if she liked being feared more, or having a little girl actually smile at her._   
_“Do you want to play with me?” Azula looked at the girl up and down._   
_“What kind of game are we going to play? I don’t want to play any silly girly games you know. I don’t have time for dolls and dresses.”_   
_“We can play anything you want to play!” That also confused Azula. Most girls insisted that they play with dolls or played dress up. This little girl didn’t care?_   
_“How about war?”_   
_“Okay! Just tell me how to play!”_

~  
Azula’s eyes slowly fluttered open. She was happy to actually have a nice dream for once, because when she woke up, it was always in hell. She hated her cell, she hated everything about the place. But most of all she hated that it represented her failure. The betrayals that had been, the loss she felt. She couldn’t believe that she actually missed that little acrobat, with her constant prattling and pink attire. She slowly sat up, and noticed her sister sitting in the cell with her. She looked nothing like either of their parents, but apparently she looked more like their grandmother. Her long brown hair was free, like normal and her green eyes penetrated everything they looked at. Azula had finally taught her well, if it was only to have that look about her.  
“You’re here awfully early today aren’t you? Couldn’t stay away from the loony bin?”  
“Actually you slept in today.” Azula never slept in.  
“What time is it?”  
“It’s almost noon. You never sleep this late. Did you not have a nightmare?”  
“My dream was somewhat pleasing actually.” Her younger sister smiled at her. She would never understand why this beautiful girl visited a monster like her everyday. She never failed to visit, not once since she had been put in here. Azula wondered if she visited their father too, and it wouldn’t surprise her if she did. When her sister was born, no one paid much attention to her at first. But when she got older, their father loved and doted on her. Ursa had too, as did their uncle and cousin and even Zuko had taken to her. Azula had taken to her before the rest of them. She didn’t mind playing with her most of the time, because she would do anything and play anything that Azula wanted. And other than the occasional Mai, she was the only one to visit. Zuko did once in a great while to see if she was “recovering” and seemed almost disappointed every time she ignored him. She would never be close to him, but that didn’t mean she was still insane.  
“What was it about?”  
“Aren’t you being nosey Maddie?” Azula gave her sister an annoyed look.  
“Zula, you can either talk about it or I can tell you some more boring stories about what Kai and I ate for dinner last night or what I wrote to Uncle about or how Mai and Zuko are-”  
“Alright alright. I get your point. It wasn’t anything special. It was an actual memory from when we were little. From when I was six.”  
“Well come on do tell.” Maddie was the only one that Azula could tell anything to. Maddie never judged, never criticized. She didn’t think everything that Azula did was perfect or earth shattering, but she did give credit where credit was due. She was the only one who had ever loved Azula. She had never feared her or pitied her. She was just her sister, and right now her best friend. Well, her only friend. Azula never really hesitated in telling her sister anything, even when it made her feel uncomfortable.  
“It was how I met the biggest traitor ever to live.” Her face contorted with anger, and sorrow. Only her sister could read her expressions so well. Maddie frowned a bit, and then looked up at her sister.  
“She’s been thinking about you too. She sent me a letter that I got this morning. She wanted to know how you were doing, if you were getting any better. I offered her a free trip to come see you but she refused to take my money.”  
“She never lets anyone give her money. Stupid girl. I don’t want to see her anyways.”  
“Don’t lie to yourself Azula. I know you do. And you don’t have to lie to me either.” The only real reason Azula wanted to see Ty Lee at all was to ask the most important question she thought of everyday: Why? There had been a time, throughout most of their childhood that Azula had really thought that Ty Lee had been her real friend. She hadn’t really felt that way about Mai, but with Ty Lee she had thought it was more than simple fear. She thought it had been real. But she was wrong, something that didn’t occur very often. Trust was for the weak. Yet she trusted her sister, because she was the only one who had never left, and who never would.

~  
 _“Azula did you really just banish someone already?” Azula looked out from the throne at her little sister. When her sister said it like that, it made her feel stupid and cruel. She pushed the feelings back. She wasn’t going to rationalize it either, because her sister would judge her even more. She looked at the two servants scrubbing her feet, and felt annoyed._  
 _“People need to know that there will be punishment for their actions.”_  
 _“There was a pit in one of your cherries. Agni forbid Azula!” She didn’t like the tone of her sisters sarcasm, although normally she would have found it amusing._  
 _“What is happening to you Azula?” Her sister’s worried voice brought her back to reality. She motioned for the servants to leave and they scurried away. Maddie approached the throne and embraced her sister. Azula had to hide a sob into her sister’s shoulder, trying her to silence herself. Crying was a weakness. Her father needed her to be perfection, but she felt as though she was going mad. Without Ty Lee, there was nothing left for her. She missed her, as difficult as it was to admit. There were only two people in the world who acted as though they would love her unconditionally. Maddie, and - Oh why did she even care about that traitor anymore?_  
 _Maddie sat with her sister as she banished person after person, trying to be the voice of reason. Azula would have none of it. All she could see was Ty Lee in the face of every person she looked at._  
 _“Azula, we heard what happened. Why have you banished all of your servants?”_  
 _“All your Dai Lee agents?”_  
 _“All of the Imperial Firebenders?”_  
 _“None of them could be trusted. Sooner or later they would have betrayed me. Just like Mai and Ty Lee did.” She choked on Ty Lee’s name and Maddie finally understood the real depth of how hurt she had been, how devastated._  
 _“Azula, we are concerned for you and your well being.”_  
 _“My father asked you to come here and talk to me didn’t he? He thinks I can’t handle the responsibility of being Fire Lord. But I will be the greatest leader in Fire Nation history.”_  
 _“Of course but perhaps we should postpone the coronation?” Azula was so infuriated. The banishing was quick._  
 _“Azula, please listen to me. I’ve always done what you’ve wanted, I’ve always been loyal. I think that you’re putting too much pressure on yourself.”_  
 _“You’re just saying that because you want to be Fire Lord!”_  
 _“Azula listen to yourself. You know I never want to be Fire Lord. That’s my one goal in life. I DO NOT want to be Fire Lord. I just want to be your little sister. And I want you to always be there. But I just think that you need to take a break.”_  
 _“Nonsense. I know what I’m doing. Have some faith in me sister.”_  
 _“I’m so worried about you. It’s okay to be sad about Ty Lee and Mai.”_  
 _“Don’t ever say those names to me again!” She screamed._  
 _Maddie watched her, chained up and crying, spewing blue fire everywhere. She cried as she watched her beloved sister be taken away. Zuko embraced his little sister, and she bawled. She couldn’t believe that Azula was losing her mind. She couldn’t believe that her proud, strong sister was now reduced to a crying teenager. But in her heart she blamed a number of people. She blamed her father and mother for not showing love to their daughter. She blamed Zuko for always being so mean to her. She blamed Mai for choosing Zuko over her. And she blamed Ty Lee most of all for what she had done, after all they had been through. She never in a million years thought that Ty Lee would leave her sister’s side, but she was wrong. She blamed many people, wishing she could have loved her sister more, but it was impossible to have loved her anymore than she already had._

~  
“So Kai and I are thinking about going to the Earth Kingdom.”  
“Well that would only make sense since he is a Prince of the Earth Kingdom.” Azula looked at her sister in a bored fashion.  
“We were hoping to take you with us.” Azula’s eyes became bright and almost hopeful.  
“Is that so? I didn’t think Zuzu would allow it.”  
“He won’t at the moment. But I’m not leaving without you.”  
“You really should. I’m a lost cause.”  
“I’m not leaving without you,” Maddie said more forcefully. She wasn’t going to leave her sister, no matter what anyone said. She had been fighting Zuko for months on this. Azula wasn’t crazy anymore, she was almost back to her normal self. Zuko didn’t know what she needed to get better. Maddie didn’t really either, but she knew that this wasn’t it. She knew that a bunch of doctors shooting her up with drugs was not the right answer. She knew that she had to find a different way to heal, and she wanted Ty Lee to help, but she was still hesitant to come. Maddie couldn’t really understand why. All the years of trust between Ty Lee and Azula had not been completely eroded by one betrayal. She knew that Azula still had feelings for her, even now.  
“You really think that they’re going to let you? Zuko hates me remember? He doesn’t want me out and about because I’m so dangerous. I’m surprised he let me keep my bending.”  
“Azula you were fourteen years old. The same age I am now. You can still come out a different, better person. Not that I want you to become a totally different person. You know I like you very much. I just want you to not threaten to take over nations and destroy the world. There really isn’t any need for it.”  
“My dear little sister, always straight to say exactly what she wants.” Azula couldn’t help but smile. Lately, she had been thinking that any place was better than another day in these cells. Another year or so of it and she might actually go crazy. She wanted to be anywhere, even the crummy Earth kingdom.  
“I learned from you.” Maddie gave a smirk to her sister. Azula hated when she went home for the night. She wished she was allowed to stay, even just one night. She missed being snuggled up to her sister, a tradition they had shared when one or the other had nightmares. But, she had nightmares every night.

~  
Maddie was always sad to leave her sister at night. But this night was actually important. It was the night she and Kai were going to convince Zuko to take her home. All of the members of the Avatar’s group were coming to meet to discuss this. And there was a special guest outside of all of them. Maddie sat down next to Kai at the giant table, squeezing his hand underneath it.  
“Don’t worry we’re going to bring her home. I don’t care what it takes.” She nodded pensively, so worried. It was really going to be three on the rest of them she could tell. She got up excitedly as she came through the door, in her all green attire. She gripped onto Ty Lee, not letting go for several minutes.  
“I’m so glad you came.”  
“It seems like the least I can do. And you forcibly paid for my travels, so I felt like I had to. Well, I already did have to because I needed to for her.” Ty Lee looked down, her gaze was incredibly sad. Maddie took her hands and smiled at her.  
“She’s going to forgive you. I know she will.” When the others came in, Ty Lee and Mai shared a long embrace, followed up with the normal “how have you been?” and “wow you look great.” But Ty Lee didn’t look great. It looked like she hadn’t eaten in awhile. Ty Lee used to eat all the time, but it didn’t look like she had in ages. Her eyes looked slightly sunken, as though she had been crying extensively over the past two years. Her walk was no longer as confident, and her laugh was not as full. Her aura was no longer pink. It was a muddied blue, or even possibly a muddy grey. As they all sat down, Zuko was the first to speak.  
“I think it would be alright for you two to take her. But I think we should take her bending away.”  
“I agree,” Katara chimed in.  
“No! You cannot take away her bending! She will never recover if you take away the one thing she lives for! None of you have any idea what she needs to get better! Only Ty Lee and I know what she needs!”  
“She’s a threat to everyone around her! We can’t really let her walk around with all that power in Ba Sing Se!” Suki was just as passionate as Maddie had been, but she wasn’t giving up.  
“We’ll be watching her! I’m going to make sure that Uncle Iroh doesn’t let her out of his sight! I can’t let her bending be taken away. That would be worse than death for her!”  
“Why don’t you all shut up and ask Ty Lee what she thinks? She knows that girl more than anyone, more than even you. No offence Princess, but Ty Lee knows exactly what she needs.” Everyone was shocked to hear Toph stand up for Azula. Toph had no love for the Princess, although she was very fond of the younger one. Toph seemed to be the one voice of reason in a sea of opinions. Everyone looked at the young acrobat.  
“Well what do you think Ty Lee?” Mai looked at her friend, not really thinking that Ty Lee could make an unbiased decision. She knew that Ty Lee had some very strong feelings for the Princess, as much as she wanted to deny it. Ty Lee looked at Maddie for a long time and then stood.  
“I think her living with Iroh is a good idea. It will be a form of punishment for her, but not so extreme that she can’t recover. And I think that if you take her bending away she will find an inventive way to kill herself within a week. And I know that what you all probably want but I’m not going to let you do that.”  
“I don’t think they should take her at all,” Sokka muttered.  
“Well that’s not a choice,” Kai said. Zuko looked at Kai in confusion.  
“And why is that Kai?”  
“Because my grandfather King Bumi has ordered her transfer to the city of Ba Sing Se. If you don’t give her to us, you will have a war on your hands.” Everyone looked shocked to hear it except for Toph. Kai was her best friend’s nephew after all, and he was not one to take chances. And if Maddie wanted something, she got it. She rarely asked for anything, and if she wanted this she would have it.  
“You would start a war over Azula?” Mai looked shocked, which was surprising since she didn’t ever show much emotion.  
“I would start a war for my sister yes. I grew up here. I knew her just as well as any of you. But I saw first hand how Ozai, and Ursa treated her. I saw how she was raised and groomed to become a war weapon. I love her like my own blood, as does my mother. I won’t let you take away her bending. I believe she can recover. I believe she will get better. But I don’t think you know what she needs. I think Iroh does. And I believe Ty Lee does as well. I know her well enough to know that without her bending she won’t want to live.”  
“So I have no choice but to surrender her to you is what you’re saying.” Zuko’s hands clenched into fists. Mai lightly touched his shoulder and the rest of them looked at the two demanding her come with them.  
“That’s exactly what I’m saying. We’re leaving with her tomorrow, and we’ve hired Ty Lee to help us escort her there. If you try to stop us, you will have a full out war on your hands.”  
“Then I have no choice. You can take my lunatic sister. But if she tries to take over the Earth Kingdom it will be on your heads.” Kai nodded, and left the room. Ty Lee gravitated towards Maddie as Zuko looked furious, and most of the others didn’t look so pleased either.  
“That could have gone better.”  
“I’m more worried about talking to your sister.”


	2. Chapter 2

“You came back? Isn’t it a little late for visiting hours Maddie-” Azula froze when she saw a young woman in green clothing in her cell. Her sister liked green, but she didn’t ever wear a dark color. She hated dark colors. She loathed anything darker than the brightest saturation of a color, and she never went darker than the middle color range. It was already fairly dark in the cell, and she could not make out who it was. Mai liked to wear dark colors, but she didn’t like green. She always wore a dark red.

“Who are you?” Azula’s irritation was evident in her tone.

“Azula, it’s me.” The small voice sounded so much Ty Lee. But it couldn’t be. She was always coming up with one financial reason or another to her sister as to why she couldn’t come home and spend time with Azula. Or Maddie for that matter. Or even visit her family. Or Mai.

“Can’t you tell who I am?” Azula smirked, certain now in the way the feeble voice showed the same kind of nerves Ty Lee would have.

“Well you can’t be my ex-friend now could you? Last time I checked she wore pink, to match her aura. But you have neither of those things.”

“Times have been hard for me too Azula.”

“Get to the damn point Ty Lee. Why are you here?” Azula was losing her patience and her mind. Azula, she’s here to see you because she loves you sweetheart. Go away mother!

“In your cell or in the Fire Nation in general?” So she had learned some sass, from wherever she had been. Azula knew her sister, or maybe even Mai had told her what Ty Lee had been up to for the past two years but she couldn’t remember now.

“Both,” she answered coldly.

“I’m in the Fire Nation because your sister told me to. I’m in your cell because I wanted to see you. I haven’t seen you in so long.” Her voice hinted at regret but Azula wasn’t buying it.

“You’ve seen me. Now leave.” Ty Lee suddenly got angry, something that almost never happened.

“I just stood up for you in front of a room full of people who hate you. I saved your damn bending so you could at least give me the courtesy of listening to what I have to say!” Azula didn’t know what to say. She didn’t even know her bending was still threatened. She watched her old friend seeth, holding back her emotions as best she could.

“If it hadn’t been for me, no one would have listened to your sister. They wanted to take away your bending before shipping you off to the Earth Kingdom. And I know you would have killed yourself. I know you Azula. You wouldn’t want to live without your bending. So you could at least be grateful I came all the way from the Earth Kingdom to protect you!”

“Why?”

“Why what?” Ty Lee shouted. The guard looked in for a moment, before going about his business.

“Why did you save my bending? I don’t mean anything to you anymore.”

“That’s not true. It took me two years to save up enough money to be able to see you. To spend a whole month here like I planned. But then your sister sent me a frantic letter. I wanted to see you more than anything.”

“Liar.” Azula couldn’t look her in the eyes, “But thank you. For protecting my bending.”

“You’re welcome.”

“So... how many people wanted to take away my bending?”

“Almost everyone at the meeting. I was surprised that Toph didn’t want to. She was the one who wanted to hear what I had to say.”

“Was Elyon there too?”

“Yes but she didn’t say anything. I don’t think she knew what to say.” Azula smiled fondly.

“She probably couldn’t get the image of us out of her head.”

 

~

_They had been walking through the woods for a long time. Ty Lee’s feet were getting sore they had been walking so long. They had started before the sun rose, and she was so tired. She hated that Azula went to these extremes, even though she knew why. They finally stopped in a clearing and Azula gave her a hungry look. Ty Lee nervously smiled as Azula got closer._

_“Azula, what if we get caught?” She looked around nervously, checking for other people._

_“We won’t. God Ty Lee you act like we’ve never done this before. We’re so far away from the campsite and we’re in the middle of the woods. You can be so stupid sometimes.”_

_“I’m sorry Azula I’m just nervous for you. Nothing will happen to me if they see me.” Azula got closer to her, pulling her into her arms._

_“Shut up.” Their lips collided, and Ty Lee’s arms automatically wrapped around her neck. The heat was enveloping them, and Ty Lee smiled into Azula’s mouth. Azula pried open Ty Lee’s mouth with her tongue and stroked the inside of her mouth. She bit her lip and groaned in her mouth. It always drove Ty Lee crazy, and she couldn’t help but moan herself. Azula’s mouth was so warm and inviting, and Ty Lee was losing her breath. She liked to rattle Azula up a little so she fought for dominance, forcing her own tongue into Azula’s mouth. She bit her lip and ran her fingers down her back. Azula moaned and grabbed her behind with such force that Ty Lee squealed into her mouth. Azula smiled and nipped her bottom lip. She slowly pulled away and looked down at her._

_“I love when you try to take control,” she whispered. Ty Lee’s face was red, and she smiled up at Azula._

_“Azula, do we really have to go back?”_

_“Well I do have to capture the Avatar and become the Fire Lord at some point.”_

_“Well alright. If that’s what will make you happy ‘Zula.” Ty Lee smiled up at her. Azula hated letting her go but she let her go. Ty Lee cartwheeled back in the direction that they had come from and Azula started to slowly make her way towards her._

_“You know, I knew you were there. You better run away before I change my mind about ignoring you little girl.” The girl with blond hair looked shocked, and then sprinted away. Azula was very amused. It was the first time someone she didn’t know had caught them in the act. Her little sister had caught them once, and her sister’s friend Kai had caught them a handful of times. But for whatever the reason this amused the Princess immensely._

 

~

“You always did find her catching us that day amusing. I never understood why.” Ty Lee’s expression had lightened. Azula didn’t like when she was upset, but she often caused it more frequently than not. Ty Lee used to bounce back from it easily, but now she looked more worn out than usual. There was a long silence between them as Azula assessed her friend. She didn’t look much better than she did and that was saying something. Azula had assumed that Ty Lee had gone back to the circus, since that was what she had always really loved. She looked too tired for that.

“I take it you didn’t join the circus?” Azula said quietly, after the long silence.

“I’m sure Mai or Maddie told you I joined the Kyoshi Warriors.”

“It must have been Mai because I actually listen to what my sister says.”

“Well that’s where I’ve been the past two years. It’s expensive to get ferry rides to the capital of the Fire Nation. It’s not a popular vacation spot.” Ty Lee smiled sadly.

“Ty Lee, the girl who didn’t want to become part of a matched set, joined the Kyoshi warriors. How tragic.” Azula laughed, and Ty Lee glared at her.

“We traded moves. They were nice to me. And I wouldn’t have met them if I hadn’t been imprisoned.” Azula smiled at her.

“You wouldn’t have been in prison if you weren’t a traitor.”

“Whatever Azula.”

“Truth too hard to handle? Why didn’t you rejoin the circus after you got bored.”

“It reminded me too much of you....” she whispered, “But then again, everything did. The Kyoshi warriors did a lot at first, since that’s how we infiltrated Ba Sing Se. But it didn’t hurt as much after awhile so I stayed. And they payed alright.” Azula didn’t want to say anything. Not anymore. There were so many angry words she could have said to her almost lover. But she didn’t. This wasn’t her Ty Lee. Not anymore. She didn’t look like her old self, she didn’t act like her old self. She didn’t want to talk to her anymore. She wanted her old Ty Lee back. Not the traitorous one.

“Well I’m sure you came to see how I’ve been doing. I’m not crazy anymore as you can see. Now you should go.” Ty Lee got up and went towards the door.

“You know you’re going to have to spend a lot of time with me. I’m the one guarding you all the way to Ba Sing Se starting tomorrow.” She left the cell and Azula internally made a note to make her sister’s life a living hell for all the days she would have to spend with Ty Lee.

 

~

_“Okay Ty Lee stop crying! I’ll play whatever game you want!” Azula hated when Ty Lee cried. She didn’t know why she hated it so much. She liked when Zuko cried. She didn’t enjoy when her sister cried but she didn’t try to stop it often. But with Ty Lee it was different. She felt horrible whenever Ty Lee cried. When other girls picked on her at the academy, she went berserk. And she made sure they were punished. She then found Ty Lee some daisies and told her to stop crying. She didn’t know why seeing that crooked grin made her so happy inside._

_“Yay! Okay I want to play house!” Ty Lee had asked Azula a thousand times over their four year friendship if they could play house. Azula always said no._

_“You can be the daddy and I can be the mommy!”_

_“Why do I have to be the dad?”_

_“Because you’re strong and smart and good at making me stop crying silly! And I love pink and love babies. You don’t like babies at all.” Well Ty Lee had been right about that. She hated babies. Ty Lee set up a bunch of dolls in two separate lines, with one at the very end. She placed Azula at the end with one of the dolls and went to the other end._

_“What are you doing?”_

_“Well we have to get married first silly! Otherwise our union isn’t real!” Azula rolled her eyes watched as Ty Lee walked down the makeshift aisle. Ty Lee was beaming, having picked flowers and putting them in her hair, and she had a bouquet in her hand. She got down to the end and looked at Azula all happily. She got out her pretend man voice and started talking as one of the dolls. She had been to plenty of weddings, as her family was large. Even at age ten she knew what to do._

_“Do you, Princess Azula of the beautiful Fire Nation, take Ty Lee, the daughter of a nobleman, to be your lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, until death do you part?” Ty Lee giggled in her man voice._

_“I suppose I don’t have a choice.” That made her giggling louder and Azula blushed._

_“And do you Ty Lee, take Princess Azula to be your lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, until death do you part? Of course I do silly!”_

_“Don’t you have to give me something? Like a ring?”_

_“Well I don’t have a ring... Oh we could trade bracelets!” Azula didn’t care much for her jewelry so she handed Ty Lee her bracelet, and Ty Lee slipped hers onto Azula._

_“By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you wife and.... wife! You may kiss your bride!” Ty Lee leaned in and kissed Azula. She didn’t know what to do, it was her first kiss. When Ty Lee pulled away, Azula was blushing. Zuko had seen them kissing, and had run to Ursa. Ursa laughed, and said they were just playing games. It was the first time she hadn’t been scolded by her mother, and she didn’t know what to do. Ursa had no way of knowing that Ty Lee had ignited something very dangerous, that would never go away._

 

~

Azula woke up and looked at her wrist. The bracelet, the pink beads, were still there. She normally hid them under her sleeve, but they must have fallen out in her sleep. She didn’t like having dreams about her traitorous ex-friend. She wanted all of the memories to subside, all of the times when she had looked at her with tender feelings to be erased from her mind. She heard the door sliding open, and she tucked them back into her sleeve. Her sister was in the doorway, with Ty Lee. She came with clothes, and clothes that Azula actually liked. They didn’t show off her midsection, which after years of barely eating Azula appreciated. Her sister had clearly gone into her closet and found the clothes.

“I really hate you Maddie.” Maddie’s face lit in a knowing smile and Ty Lee giggled a little. She knew Azula wasn’t all that happy to see her again, but she didn’t really have a choice. Azula tried to stand, but it was incredibly difficult. Zuko had made sure to give her no exercise, although it would have done her some good with her incessant boredom. Ty Lee quickly caught her and helped her up. Azula didn’t like looking weak, but pushing her away would mean falling again. Ty Lee and Maddie helped her take off the ugly prison uniform slowly. Ty Lee noticed the bracelet and smiled. Azula noticed her smile, but tried to ignore it.

“Don’t give me that look. It’s not like it’s actually sentimental. It just won’t come off of my wrist without me breaking it is all.”

“Oh I’m sure Azula. I’m sure.” She chuckled, helping Maddie put Azula’s normal palace robes on. She wished they would have picked one of her combat outfits, but she was grateful to be out of those disgusting things. Ty Lee put her shoes on and then went to her hair.

“I think that Maddie should do that.” Ty Lee backed away slowly. On her way back she saw the Princess tuck the bracelet back under her sleeve. She had hers tucked under her own sleeve as well, the bright red jewels being too valuable to show in public. She noticed that her nails were filed down much too far for Azula’s liking. Her fingers looked sore and raw, like she had been digging. She watched as Maddie skillfully put Azula’s hair up the way she liked it, nice and tight. She left the two pieces out, and placed the small red fire symbol into the knot. She smiled at her own work before starting to help the Princess up. The young acrobat also started to help but told Maddie to let go.

“Get on my back. Like when we were kids.” Azula raised an eyebrow to her. She miraculously did as she was told and got onto her back. They were escorted by Toph and Elyon to the docks, where they went on the same ship. Azula was gently put down, but was surrounded by Ty Lee, Toph, Elyon, Maddie and Kai. Maddie explained to her that there was no need to take separate transportation if they were all going to the same place. Azula made some kind of retort. When Azula was shown to her room that night she became infuriated.

“What do you mean I have to share a room with one bed with YOU?” Ty Lee had known it wouldn’t go over well.

“They want me to guard you. I can just sleep on the floor if you want me to.” Azula thought that would be best at first. But then she looked at the metal floor and sighed. It wasn’t as though Ty Lee had never slept next to her before.

“No it’s fine. We’ve shared a bed before after all.”


	3. Chapter 3

Ty Lee had been sitting on the floor for about an hour. Azula had yet to respond to anything she said. She didn’t even give her some kind of annoyed response, no retorts coming from her crimson lips. She just looked empty. Azula truly couldn’t think of anything nice to say to Ty Lee. She didn’t want to say anything mean either. The closer it got to night, the closer Azula got to madness. She didn’t want Ty Lee to cry because she didn’t know how she’d react. She didn’t want to cry in front of Ty Lee.

“Azula I know there’s something you want to ask me. I’m surprised you haven’t yet.” That caught Azula’s attention. She had ignored most of what the girl had been saying, except when she talked about the Kyoshi warriors and how they “could be best friends forever now.” She had felt a large pang of jealousy, as Ty Lee had always said things like that to her. But not anymore. Azula looked the folds in the blanket, trying to avoid this situation. She did not want to cry. She wouldn’t if she could help it. But she was still so.... curious.

“Why did you do it?” Her voice almost choked. She had still sounded confident to Ty Lee but inside she was breaking slowly. She was trying to keep all of her dignity intact. But it was slowly slipping in front of one of the few people she had ever cared about. Ty Lee looked very sad. She wiped away a stray tear, something that did not go unnoticed.

“It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. But I couldn’t let you kill Mai. I know that’s what you were going to do Azula. If I had let you, you would have become the monster you think you are. I couldn’t stand there and watch my best friend kill one of my closest friends. Not if I could stop it,” she looked down at her hands, “My fingers still feel your armor on their tips. It’s something I have nightmares about every night Azula.” Her tears kept coming and Azula tried to ignore it.

“Was it all a lie? Did you just sneak around with me because you were... scared? Or was it all just a game to you? To see how much you could make me feel for you so I would be more hurt when your betrayal came. So you and Mai could sit around and laugh about it later while I was left to rot in that cell for two years.”

“No! I wasn’t afraid of you! I really liked kissing you! You know that! I wanted to be your girlfriend! I wanted to hold your hand in public and sleep next to you at night. I still want to...” Her crying got a little louder as she confessed. Azula would never know how haunted she had been all those years. How her stomach ached because she made herself so sick just thinking about what she had done to Azula. At her lowest moment she had wished she had let her kill Mai. In Ty Lee’s mind, she still couldn’t understand how Mai could have chosen Zuko over Azula. And not just over Azula, over her.

“Now stop that blubbering Ty Lee. You’re so ugly when you cry.” Ty Lee hiccuped a bit, from the combination of laughing and crying. She didn’t like when Azula seemed hurt, she liked it better when she was mean.

“Ty Lee get up here.” Azula had been laying down, and Ty Lee crawled into the bed with her. She tried her hardest to stop sniffling but it was so difficult. But when Azula smiled shyly at her, her tears disappeared and she smiled back. Just like when they were kids, Azula still could control her emotions so easily, just with a single smile.

“We haven’t done this in so long.”

“I don’t think we’ve done this since the beach.”

 

~

_Ty Lee picked up a shell and looked at it. She always loved silly things like that. Azula hated watching her in public. She didn’t like the bathing suit Ty Lee had on. Well she did. But she didn’t like the looks it got her. She didn’t like that boys eyed her like a hunk of meat that they could just buy with pretty words._

_“This is so pretty.” Ty Lee was beaming, but Azula couldn’t help but become rigid._

_“Not as pretty as you are.” Azula wanted to firebend that boy into oblivion. It wasn’t as though she and Ty Lee were together, but they did do many special things together. They had been kissing for real since they were thirteen. Azula had mentally claimed her, but she couldn’t help but think that some boy was going to take her away. No boy was going to marry Ty Lee. Not her Ty Lee._

_Azula saw some other teenagers playing volleyball, and her competitive nature compelled her to play. Plus it would get Ty Lee away from all of her doting fans. She looked over to her friend to see all of the imbeciles fanning her. She grew incredibly annoyed._

_“Hey, beach bums. We’re playing next. Ty Lee, get over here now!” She yelled. Ty Lee eagerly did a handstand and walked over on her hands._

_Later Azula had to angrily watch Ty Lee fend off boys. Literally. After punching through a crowd of them fighting for her affections, she walked over to Azula._

_“Oh, I’m glad you’re here. Those boys won’t leave me alone. I guess they all just like me too much.” Azula frowned. Her heart was stinging._

_“Come on Ty Lee. You can’t be ignorant.”_

_“What are you talking about?”_

_“Those boys only like you because you make it so easy for them. You're not a challenge. You're a tease. It's not like they actually care who you are.” Ty Lee started to sob. Azula felt guilty, and she instantly regretted the words. Her face got gentler, along with her voice._

_“Okay, okay, calm down. I didn't mean what I said. Look, maybe I just said it because I was a little... jealous.” Azula looked down, shyly. She didn’t want to tell her how she really felt looking at them._

_“What? You're jealous of me? But you're the most beautiful, smartest, perfect girl in the world.” Azula tried to control the joy she felt from hearing that._

_“Well, you're right about all those things. But, for some reason, when I meet boys, they act as if I'm going to do something horrible to them.” Ty Lee held her inner thoughts in, thinking Azula would do something because she had no interest in boys. None at all._

_“But you probably would do something horrible to them. I'm sure they're just intimidated by you. Okay, look, if you want a boy to like you, just look at him and smile a lot and laugh at everything he says even if it's not funny.”_

_“Well, that sounds really shallow and stupid...let's try it.”_

_“Okay. Hey there, sweet sugar cakes. How you liking this party?” Azula had always thought Ty Lee’s fake man voice was adorable. She made a horrible fake laugh that was altogether too loud._

_After everyone’s emotional confessions, Azula waited for Mai and Zuko to be fast asleep. She quietly snuck into Ty Lee’s room. She was still awake, sitting on the bed. Her back was turned to Azula. The tears were streaming down her face. Azula sighed, not knowing that Ty Lee was crying._

_“Did you kiss him?” Ty Lee’s voice sounded normal._

_“Yeah.”_

_“So I guess you have a boyfriend now huh?” She tried to sound cheerful._

_“No I scared him away. You seem like the only one I can’t scare away.” Azula smiled, getting a little bit closer._

_“Did you like it?” Her voice choked a little._

_“No. I didn’t. Don’t act like you’ve never kissed a boy before Ty.” Ty Lee got up quickly and embraced Azula before she could see her tears. Her lips were on Azula’s and Azula let out a moan. Ty Lee rarely started their touches, but when she did Azula felt an extreme fire in her chest. She was desperately clutching to Azula, in a passionate frenzy, Ty Lee’s tongue was in her mouth, her fingers were in her hair. Azula gripped onto her and growled. She grabbed the back of Ty Lee’s head and thrust her tongue inside, and Ty Lee moaned. Suddenly Azula remembered that they had been talking. Azula pulled away, now noticing the tears all over Ty Lee’s face, the redness of her eyes. She ran her fingers through the brown hair._

_“I didn’t like it at all Ty. Not like I like kissing you.” Ty Lee smiled._

_“Cuddle with me tonight?” Azula nodded, and they both scurried into pajamas and into Ty Lee’s bed. Ty Lee ran her fingers through her hair, it was down so rarely that she savored the moment. Azula got in close, putting her arms around Ty Lee._

_“Ty?”_

_“Hm?”_

_“If it was allowed, would you be my girlfriend?”_

_“I would even if it wasn’t.” Her answer was so quick that Azula knew she wasn’t lying._

_“Well, I think I’ll consider it. I don’t want other people touching you.”_

_“I wish we could show everyone what we really are. Don’t you?”_   
_“No. Because then I would have to compete with girls too.” Ty Lee smiled and they slowly fell asleep. And it was the last time before they were separated that they would share a bed._

 

~

“Can I tell you a secret?” Ty Lee whispered, her hand in Azula’s hair. She had pulled it down, despite Azula’s protests.

“Sure. I suppose.”

“I was really jealous of Chan that day.” Azula raised her brow, “I hated that he kissed you. I’m supposed to kiss you. I hated it. I wanted to Chi block him. That’s why I was so happy when we trashed his house.” Ty Lee was smiling a mischievous smile.

“I wasn’t jealous of all the attention you were getting you know. I don’t like boys Ty. I was jealous because I wanted to be them. I wanted to be able to freely show that you were mine. Not that it matters now. I haven’t forgiven you.”

“I didn’t think you would. I’m just glad you’re tolerating me.”

“Well I don’t really have much of a choice. Besides, it’s better than riding with Mai all the way to Ba Sing Se.” Ty Lee giggled.

“You would be so bored if she was guarding you. You might get into more fights though.”

“Well that might be better than reminiscing with you.”

“Please you miss how it used to be too.”

“That’s the thing Ty. It’s never going to be like it used to be. You’re never going to be the Ty Lee I remember. Because every time I look into your eyes I see your betrayal. And I don’t think it’s ever going to go away.”


	4. Chapter 4

Azula didn’t like to think that it would take days for them to reach Ba Sing Se. They were going through the tiny pass of water, but it would only take them to a day’s travel away from the city. She didn’t want to wait that long to get away from Ty Lee, even if it was to be with her horrible uncle. She spent most of the day with her sister, along with the others. She mostly only talked to Maddie and Kai, as Toph and Elyon didn’t seem very keen on talking to her. Elyon was more than happy to chat with Ty Lee about the Kyoshi warriors, which at least kept her busy. If she heard Suki’s name one more time, she might have exploded. She also remembered that Suki’s beloved water tribe idiot had been assessed as attractive by Ty Lee, which she didn’t like at all.

Her sister could see the tension in Azula’s eyes and her shoulders and looked over at Ty Lee curiously. She knew that Ty Lee had romantic feelings for her sister, but she had no idea how far rooted their romance actually had been before the betrayal. Azula had told her when she had caught them kissing that they were just trying it out. But the more time she spent with the two of them, the more she doubted it. Her sister became stiff every time the Kyoshi warriors were mentioned, or when Ty Lee talked about boys on the island that really liked her, and gave her presents. Maddie couldn’t remember a time when Ty Lee wasn’t by Azula’s side. Whenever there was a boring function or some sort of party, Ty Lee was invited. If the Princess got bored, that who she asked for. At the academy, Maddie had seen that Ty Lee was always with her, and Mai just seemed to tag along.

Kai knew exactly what was going on. He had caught them many times over the years, and whenever Ty Lee’s name had been mentioned, Azula uncharacteristically smiled. And Azula seemed to forgive Mai’s betrayal more quickly that Ty Lee’s. She didn’t like Mai anymore than she had, but she wasn’t as hostile. Not as she was to Ty Lee. Kai knew that they were in some kind of relationship, or at least had been. Whatever they had been, official or unofficial, must have been dispersed by the Princess herself, because Ty Lee had never given up on Azula. He watched the scene with much amusement as Ty Lee tried to include Azula into the conversations.

“You already rambled on about your precious Kyoshi warriors. I don’t need to listen to the same stories over and over,” she snapped. She turned her head, still looking unhappy. Azula didn’t like Ty Lee talking about her new life. She had always thought that Ty Lee was dependent on her for survival, but now she knew she was wrong. Ty Lee could take care of herself. She didn’t need Azula. But for whatever reason, although she’d never say it out loud, she needed Ty Lee. She was the only one she had trusted. But that was now gone. She had so few friends however, and like her uncle said beggars can’t be choosers. And she didn’t have any friends other than Ty Lee. Her sister and her sister’s boyfriend didn’t really count. They had loved her since they were all little but they didn’t really count. Not to her.

She watched Ty Lee talk to Elyon and Toph, occasionally including Maddie and Kai. Somewhere inside she wished she could tell Ty Lee all of the things she felt. How she had realized how cruel she had been to Mai and her. How she sometimes wanted to change. How she sometimes thought that they could just stay away from royalty and they could just live together and adopt cute little babies that Ty Lee would adore, but Azula would ignore until they were older. They could just live a normal peasant life, and people would stare at them because they were together. But it wouldn’t matter. And she could finally touch her like she had wanted to. Sleeping in the same bed as her had been completely terrible and frustrating. She thought about ordering Ty Lee to let her, but she knew that Ty Lee would mistake it for forgiveness. And it wasn’t. She couldn’t forgive her for what she had done. Trust was for fools, and Azula had been played a fool. As she watched Ty Lee she felt the desire stir within her again.

 

~

_“Ty Lee, do you think eventually, you know... we could... oh I feel so stupid. Have sex?”_

_“Azula I don’t think two women can... can they?”_

_“I don’t know. I don’t even know how a man and a woman do it.”_

_“You don’t?” Ty Lee was astonished. Thirteen year old Azula didn’t know about sex._

_“Well Ursa wasn’t around long enough for that part and Father has no interest in telling me. And Iroh went with Zuko when he was banished, not that I want him to teach me about that. And I never really thought I would actually have sex with a man. I mean I thought that Father would arrange a marriage, but I figured that I would keep him away from me until I could figure out a way to kill him.” Ty Lee laughed, picturing Azula married to a man she was plotting to kill._

_“Well do you want to know?”_

_“Well only if there is anything you can apply to two women.”_

_“I don’t think there is. It is illegal here for two people of the same sex to marry.”_

 

_Azula couldn’t believe she was doing what she was doing. She stood outside the largest library in the Fire Nation feeling foolish. She didn’t really think that Ty Lee would let her touch her in that way, especially not at age thirteen. But there was no way to know for sure she wouldn’t in the future, and Azula liked to know what she was doing. She wanted to be in control. She walked into the library, hoping they had something. The royal library hadn’t had anything on sex at all. It was as if her father had removed them all on purpose to keep her in the dark. Not that she acted like a normal girl. He had once asked if either of the two sisters if they liked any boys. Maddie had stuttered as she protested that she didn’t. Azula, without blinking an eye said of course not._

_Azula approached the front desk of the library. She had met the librarian a few times before, when she had escorted her sister. She reached the desk, and the librarian was all smiles._

_“All alone today Princess Azula?”_

_“Yes my sister is home today. May I speak with you in private?” The librarian shuffled into an empty room and locked the door behind them. She smiled at the Princess._

_“You see, I have a problem. As you know, my mother has not been around in quite awhile. And my father has no interest in teaching me about what happens between a man and a woman and I am far past the age where I should have learned by now. I was going to ask one of my dear friend’s mother, but I felt too vulnerable. I searched the royal library, but there isn’t a book to be found. Not that I can blame anyone, it is a touchy subject,” Azula had on her fake sweet voice. The librarian looked at her with sympathy, something she wasn’t used to._

_“Of course Princess. Right this way.” Azula followed her into a locked room._

_“This is every book, close to ever written, about the carnal nature of our species. And several others, although those are more for scientific ventures. All of the books about humans are on the right, all the animals are on the left. If you need any assistance at all, please let me know.” She quietly left the Princess to herself. The Princess found plenty of books about men and women, and how babies were created. They repulsed her, something she hadn’t expected. She had been told in school that the instincts would take over when mating, but she didn’t feel anything like she felt with Ty Lee. She felt herself shudder. She finally found a little black book that was all about female relations. She opened it and was surprised. She had never seen anything like it. What could be done with the hands and mouth looked so devious to her. Almost delicious. Then she came across putting foreign objects inside... she had never heard the word dildo in her whole life. She was so fascinated, especially when she learned that it could be strapped on. All the positions and moves, Azula wondered what they could be like. She wondered if Ty Lee would let her even try. She tucked the book into her robe and kept it. She would have fun with it one day._

 

~

“Don’t touch me Ty Lee.” Azula’s back was turned to her in the bed. Ty Lee couldn’t tell why Azula was so moody. She went from looking at her like she used to when they were alone, to completely shutting her down. Ty Lee layed down on the floor, and slowly fell into slumber. Her back was aching because of the hard steel floor, but she didn’t feel like getting into a confrontation with Azula. Azula tried to sleep the best she could, and about an hour later fell asleep.

Ty Lee was jerked awake from her sleep. The sound of screaming woke her and she jumped in bed with the screaming Azula. She was screaming in her sleep, and Ty Lee started to shake her.

“Azula! Azula wake up!” Her eyes sprung open, and she looked at Ty Lee. She clung to Ty Lee, refusing to let go as she broke down into sobs. Her sobs were slightly absorbed into Ty Lee’s shoulder. She rocked her back and forth, trying to give her a sense of reality. She slowly started to calm.

“Azula it was just a nightmare. They can’t hurt you anymore.”

“They all say I’m a disgrace. That I don’t deserve Sozin’s blood in my veins. The other half agrees, but they think I don’t deserve Roku’s blood. They all think I’m a failure. My father won’t stop. He won’t stop.”

“He won’t stop what? Azula he can’t hurt you anymore he’s in prison remember?” Ty Lee is right. Azula you’re safe now. I love you Azula, I do.

“GET OUT URSA! I DON’T NEED YOUR OPINION ON EVERYTHING!” Azula yelled at the dark. Ty Lee had never been so afraid, but she knew how much Azula needed her.

“Azula she isn’t here. They can’t hurt you anymore. I’m here, you’re safe now. No one else is here.”

“You just think you know everything don’t you? Why don’t you just leave me alone if you think I’m such a monster! I don’t need your advice about what to do with Ty Lee or anyone! I didn’t need you back then and I sure as hell don’t need you now!” Ty Lee’s mouth crashed onto Azula’s desperately trying to bring her to reality. Azula was shocked but then she became calm. She felt Ty Lee’s tears on her nose and cheeks. She put her hand on Ty Lee’s cheek and Ty Lee pulled away.

“See. No one here but me,” she whispered.

“I’m sorry Ty Lee. It only happens once in awhile I promise. You can’t tell anyone.”

“But Azula-”

“Not a word to anyone! I don’t need to go back to a mental hospital. I don’t want to go back there Ty Lee. After everything it’s the least you could do.”

“Alright Azula.”

“I do better when someone sleeps with me.”

“You told me not to touch you.”

“I didn’t mean it. I just get mad when you talk about Kyoshi.”

“Why?” Ty Lee snuggled in closer to her.

“Because I feel like they replaced me. Like you don’t need me anymore.”

“I actually quit before I came. Suki was a good leader and everything... she just wasn’t my leader.” Azula looked up into the face of the smiling acrobat.

“Is that so?”

“It was never as exciting as it was with you anyways.”

“Obviously.” Azula pulled the covers over both of them and settled back in.

“This doesn’t mean anything.”

“It does Azula. Whether you acknowledge it or not. You can like me without trusting me.” Azula nuzzled into her skin. She wished she didn’t have to feel so hurt. So betrayed by her own friend. The only one she had longed to see every day, to spend every day with. To snuggle next to every night. She had mentally knocked herself down every day she thought of Ty Lee in prison.

“Did you like them more than me?” She whispered.

“No of course not.” Ty Lee nestled Azula’s head into her chest.

“Are you still my best friend?” Her whisper was barely audible.

“Of course Azula. I’ll never leave you. I promise.” Azula quickly fell asleep in her arms, exhausted. When she was peacefully asleep, Ty Lee kissed Azula’s forehead. Tears slid down her cheeks, as she stroked her hair.

“I love you,” she whispered, choking on her tears.

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Author’s note: looking up the history of dildos is awkward. I hope no one looks at my google searches.

Azula woke up to see Ty Lee sound asleep, her head resting on hers. She smiled, not remembering the night before all that well. She knew she had nightmares, she just couldn’t remember them most of the time. The drugs weren’t all out of her system yet, and they were slowly weaning her off them. She felt dizzy in the morning, and sometimes a little disoriented.

She loves you Azula. You should tell her. I don’t love her Ursa. You’re only supposed to come when I’m tired. I don’t want to be on the drugs anymore. Please just stay away when Ty Lee is here. She looked up at Ty Lee and put her hand in that brown hair. She slowly slipped out of the bed and put her clothes on. She sat in the mirror and started to put her hair up. She looked back in the mirror at a sleeping Ty Lee. Ty Lee had been her first kiss, her first love. They had to hide it, but that didn’t mean she hadn’t felt it.

Ty Lee shifted a little in her sleep and Azula couldn’t help but watch her. She didn’t look as peaceful without her there. She started to shiver a bit. Azula walked over and pulled the covers over her. Her finger ran down her cheek and she couldn’t help but be amazed. Ty Lee was incredibly beautiful, she had always known that. She wondered why she had never told her, even though Ty Lee told her she was beautiful all the time. She hid a laugh, remembering how Ty Lee always slept like she was dead.

Azula was surprised she hadn’t tried to figure out a way to get back to the Fire Nation and take over. Seeing the way Zuko ran it made her a little sick inside. She knew she wanted her title back. It hadn’t exactly been stripped from her, but no one really considered the raving Princess royalty anymore. When she had first regained her clarity of mind, that was all she could think about. She didn’t like how much Ty Lee clouded her mind. But, did she really want the Fire Nation after all? She had it in her grasp for about a week and she didn’t really enjoy it. Always know when you have been beaten. That was the most important thing her father had ever said to her that had really resonated with her. But she hadn’t felt like she was beaten. She couldn’t think properly during her Agni-kai with her brother. If she had been at full mental capacity there would have been no way for him to defeat her.

Maybe she liked being just a Princess. Or a war general and Princess. She didn’t like all the constant pressure she had felt as Fire Lord. But being a Princess and strategizing was something she had done all of her life. It was in her blood. She was higher than the common filth, but maybe she didn’t need everything. And she certainly didn’t want to live in the same place as Zuko and Mai. She wanted to at least be free from them. But she knew she wanted her title back, and more. If one day she somehow became Fire Lord, then she would become the best to ever live. But right now she just needed to recover. Two years had made her body weak and dependent on drugs.

Azula slowly pulled her hair up into a topknot. She put her small crown back into it, like she did every morning. She was still a Princess, whether anyone acknowledged it or not. She tucked the pink beads under her sleeve, trying not to look at them for too long. She wanted to forget about everything she and Ty Lee had ever been. Getting rid of the beads would have been the first step, but for whatever reason, she couldn’t do it. She knew Ty Lee would be leaving for wherever she decided to go after this, and she was glad. Ty Lee would marry and have lots of babies running around. And eventually she would forget all about Azula. That’s what Azula wanted, her friend would be happy and her heart wouldn’t ache anymore.

Ty Lee stretched in the bed, just waking. She reached over for Azula, but found the bed to be cold and empty. She flew upwards in a panic, only to see Azula sitting by her mirror. Her heartbeat went back to normal, and she sighed in relief.

“I don’t know where exactly you thought I would go since we are surrounded by water.” Ty Lee made eye contact with her through the mirror and gave her a warm smile.

“I thought that you stormed the cabin of the ship and took control, steering us back towards the Fire Nation after you convinced the rest of the crew to take orders from you.”

“I could have I suppose. It would have been easy just like you said. But it’s not like I have an army to help me take down all of the Imperial Firebenders once we got to the palace. And I really have no interest in going back into that cell.” Ty Lee’s fingers started to attempt to braid her hair back in it’s usual single braid. Her fingers fumbled through the hair, as she tried unsuccessfully. She couldn’t do it with Azula looking at her so intently, as though she were looking for a moment of weakness to take down her prey. In reality, Azula was thinking how few times she had seen Ty Lee’s hair down. Ty Lee quickly got frustrated and tossed her hair back angrily.

“Come here. I can do it for you.” Ty Lee looked astonished, but got up nonetheless. She sat down in front of Azula like they had done when they were kids. Azula’s hands gently touched Ty Lee’s hair, as she started to braid the three separate sections. Ty Lee let out a little sigh. She had always been easily relaxed whenever Azula touched her hair. Azula remembered how she used to touch Ty Lee’s hair when they were alone, and how she would ask her to braid it constantly when they had been very little. As soon as she had trusted her at age seven she had started demanding permission to braid it. Not that Ty had minded. Anything to get closer to the girl she admired so much.

“There. That wasn’t so hard.”

“You always did it better than I did.” Ty Lee smiled.

“Well of course. I’ve always been better than you at just about everything. Except for cartwheels and chi blocking. Although I’m sure if I applied myself I could be better than you at those things too.”

“You’re really hot when you’re cocky, you know that?”

 

~

_Azula looked across the throne room at her friend angrily. Earlier that day she had witnessed a boy flirting with her. She couldn’t tell if Ty Lee was just completely oblivious or if she enjoyed the attention. Her father was out working on war things for the day and she had locked all of the doors shut. She didn’t like the maids that always popped in and out of her room getting in the way. Ty Lee had angered her in such a way that she didn’t know what to do. Jealousy was something she only felt when Ty Lee was around. She had always been the best at everything so there had never been another opportunity. But whenever another boy even glanced at Ty Lee she became an irrational mess._

_“Azula you’ve been making that face since you went with me to buy some more clothes. What made you so mad while we were out?”_

_“Nothing.” Azula was normally a fantastic liar, but Ty Lee saw right through her._

_“You don’t have to lie to me Azula. It was that boy wasn’t it? I know you think I’m stupid but I’m not blind you know.” Azula didn’t think Ty Lee was dumb. She just thought she was a little ditzy at times, but she never thought she was stupid._

_“I don’t know why you flirt back with boys. You know one day I’m going to lose my temper and incinerate you both.” Ty Lee approached her slowly and smiled._

_“Please like any boy could be as smart as you.”_

_“Obviously.”_

_“Or as interesting, or talented, or strong. or beautiful, or as good a kisser. No guy could ever be as perfect as you Azula.” Ty Lee was very close by that point._

_“Ty Lee you don’t have to restate the obvious. I know I’m perfect. I don’t understand why you associate with bottom feeders if you already hang out with someone as perfect as I-” Ty Lee’s mouth was all over Azula’s, hot and wet. She pushed Azula down onto the throne and Azula was taken aback by Ty Lee’s abrupt behavior. Ty Lee dominated so infrequently that sometimes Azula almost begged for it. It was nothing more than intense kissing but it drove her mad. Ty Lee pried into her mouth, plunging her tongue into her. She sucked Azula’s bottom lip into her mouth, teasing and nipping at it. Azula’s arms wrapped around her instinctually as Ty Lee straddled her on her throne. Something about being in her future throne room drove Azula wild. She kissed back with feverish urgency, pulling Ty Lee’s braid. Suddenly, Ty Lee’s mouth was on her neck. She found a spot right behind Azula’s ear that made her moan with pleasure. Ty Lee giggled into her neck, sending shivers up Azula’s spine. She gently licked the spot before biting down on it, sucking on the delicate spot behind her ear. Azula was going crazy, not knowing how to end her wanting. Ty Lee leaned into her ear, her breath tickling her._

_“You are so sexy when you’re full of yourself.” Azula felt a fire like she had never known, but that she could not appease, no matter how many kisses passed between them._

 

~

Azula looked away from Ty Lee as she recalled the last time she had something like that. She tried her hardest to not feel desire for her anymore, yet it just kept creeping up. But Ty Lee took it as a blatant statement of her dead desire for her, and tried to hold in her disappointment in. Ty Lee wanted to tell Azula she loved her to her face one day, but she would probably just laugh in her face. Ty Lee would give anything to have Azula forgive her. Anything. She tried not to talk to the Princess about their now dead relationship, but sometimes she wanted to know what she thought about it.

Azula tried hard not to think about her dying relationship. She knew that it was partially her fault. But if Ty Lee hadn’t betrayed her, she had had every intention of telling her to stay. To not leave the castle, or her side for the rest of time. She was going to tell her that someday she wanted to go all the way with her, and even adopt children with Ty Lee. And as her duty she would give birth to at least one child, but through borrowing a random man’s sperm, so that she could have  a royal child. But it would always be Ty Lee’s child too. And she and Ty Lee could have their own makeshift wedding after Ozai died. That was what Azula had always dreamed of.

But they both had to get back to reality. The betrayals that had been made, and the words left unsaid were too great a barrier to cross at the moment. Ty Lee had almost told Azula she loved her, but she didn’t have the guts while she was actually awake. Azula had no intentions of saying her feelings out loud. Or that she was sorry for how she had taken her for granted this whole time. And Ty Lee knew she hadn’t been wrong in saving Mai. So they were at a never ending stand still. Ty Lee didn’t know when to tell Azula that she would be staying in Ba Sing Se with her and her Uncle. She was going to rejoin the circus and get her life back. She was going to get Azula back.

 

~

_“Azula I can’t take living there anymore! They don’t care about me at all! I swear they don’t even remember my name half of the time. I have to leave, I just have to get away!”_

_“So you’re just going to leave?” Azula didn’t let her hurt show. She couldn’t let Ty Lee know she was weak._

_“Well I don’t want to leave you. You’re the only one who treats me like I’m more than part of a matched set. And we’ve been friends... and more than friends for quite some time now. I just can’t stay Azula.” Ty Lee was clutching her bag. She had snuck into the palace to say goodbye before she left. Leaving Azula was killing her inside. She couldn’t handle living with those people anymore. She also couldn’t stand listening to Ozai plan to match her off with the first boy who wasn’t scared away. She didn’t want to be secret lovers with the Princess while she had competition. And with Azula, duty always won. It always came before pleasure._

_“Well, don’t forget to write me. I hope you have a nice life as a circus freak.”_

_“I’ll come back. That is, if you’ll invite me back every once in awhile?” Ty Lee looked up at her hopefully. Azula sighed, she couldn’t help but keep her young acrobat around, even if letting her go was killing her._

_“Tell me when you aren’t busy and you can come stay over for a few days. We’ll have a sleepover or something. And I can make out with you until you have lost all your senses.” She smiled and embraced her friend._

_“Goodbye ‘Zula. I’ll be back I promise.” As soon as Ty Lee grudgingly left, Azula was running down the corridors of the palace. She didn’t care if her father caught her at the state she was in. She just wanted to find one of the only people who would comfort her. She burst through the door without knocking and the older woman looked at her with a sad expression. Azula slammed the door shut and then slumped down to the floor. She balled her fists and she leaned over to place her head just above the floor. The older woman with a dark complexion, and jet black hair walked over and put her hand on Azula’s back. Her burning brown eyes burrowed into her flesh, right at the nape of her neck._

_“She left. She’s talked about it before but I never thought-” Azula started choking on her own tears as the billowed down from her eyes. The woman pulled her into a loving embrace, stroking her hair, shushing her tears away. She rocked the Princess in her arms. She looked at her in the way only a mother could, although she wasn’t her real mother. Azula had always considered this woman her real mother, as Ursa never could be._

_“Doesn’t she love me?” Azula choked._

_“Of course she loves you. She just needs to take care of herself right now, discover who she is without you and without all of those identical sisters. It has nothing to do with you Azula. She will come back. Either that or you will call upon her again. Don’t you think that if she thought she could do so, she would have asked to stay with you? But then you father would eventually have become suspicious of your relationship. It is better this way for now my love. Until you two can find a way to live in peace.”_

_“When did you become so wise? I feel like such a child compared to you.”_

_“Oh Azula you are only thirteen. Well almost fourteen. You still have much to learn about the world. But you two will find a way to be together.”_

_“I think I might love her.”_

_“Azula, you are quite in love with her. But you don’t have to tell her that unless you want that. I know how much you love power, and that is something that only you can give her. The power over your heart.”_

 

~

“Hey Ty Lee. We’re docking right now.” Toph had poked her head in quickly.

“Okay thank you! Come on Azula we’re only a day away now!” Azula’s steps had improved greatly over the past few days of actually eating real foods. She walked without Ty Lee’s help like a confident Princess, proud and strong. She smiled when she saw the dragon Kai and his mother had hidden from the world all that time. He was long enough to easily fit all of them, and they had made a few saddles.

“Well this is going to be lots of fun,” the Princess smirked in delight. She had never been so excited to try flying in her life.


	6. Chapter 6

“How often does it firebend?” Firebending was the only sure way of getting Azula’s attention. As they rode through the sky she couldn’t help but inspect it. Dragons were the first firebenders, and Azula had never seen one in her whole life. Mostly because her family had killed most of them, but that wasn’t her fault. She had always wanted to see one, and now that she was riding on one she didn’t know what to do.

“She only firebends when she has to. Or when she gets really angry. But that’s kind of like what you do anyways,” Kai joked. Azula scowled at him, but was still very interested.

“I firebend for other reasons too you know?”

“Yeah! She could probably heat up a cup of tea or make pancakes!” Ty Lee said excitedly.

“Ty Lee that is the DUMBEST thing I have ever heard,” Azula said, rolling her eyes.

“WELL that’s what I would do if I could firebend!” Ty Lee crossed her arms in anger. Azula always acted like she was stupid, even though she wasn’t really. I mean, pancakes are delicious!

“Don’t worry Ty Lee, I used to make cakes with airbending all the time! I would actually love some pancakes right now,” Elyon joined in. The girl’s blond braids were flopping in the intense wind as she held on for dear life. No matter how many times Ellie flew, she never really got used to it.

“I would kill for some fire flakes right now,” Azula’s sister groaned. Kai tossed a sack back at her.

“Look inside. In the front. I brought you fire flakes. I knew if we talked about food you were going to complain,” Kai laughed. Maddie almost ripped the bag apart looking for them. She squealed with delight when she found them, but struggled to heat them up.

“Uh I haven’t practiced in so long!” Azula rolled her eyes and took them from her. She quickly heated them up and then placed them in her sister’s lap.

“Thanks Azula!” Maddie smiled as she stuffed fire flakes into her mouth.

“I thought you weren’t allowed to firebend since you got out of prison,” Ty Lee wondered.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I didn’t see any firebending,” Azula smirked. It was true that she had been banned from firebending by her brother the Fire Lord, but she had no intention of letting that stop her. It wasn’t as though he would even know she was doing it. She wasn’t going to give up what she loved doing, especially since Ty Lee, Maddie, and Kai had all worked so hard for her to keep it.

“You better watch it Princess snobby pants. I might not be able to see you right now, but that doesn’t mean I can’t drag you to prison as soon as we land.”

“We’re in the Earth Kingdom. Kai is the one who makes the arrest decisions now. Besides it’s not like you could actually see me firebend little blind girl.”

“Azula, could you at least try to play nice until we get to Ba Sing Se? I know you aren’t exactly a people person, but I would like you to try. For me please?” Maddie looked at her sister with pleading eyes.

“Only if you share some of your fire flakes.” Maddie clutched the bag.

“Well I guess everyone is going to have to deal with you being mean.” Azula laughed at her little sister. Her obsession with fire flakes was borderline insane.

“Great. How much longer do we have before we get there?” Ty Lee rolled her eyes. Azula was getting on her nerves more than usual, even though she wasn’t being as rude as normal. She knew that fairly soon she would have to spend every day with Azula, something that made her fairly happy. Except that Azula was always more cruel to her. Not that she could blame her, after she had betrayed Azula.

“It should only take about thirty more minutes to get to the outer wall. I hope your uncle doesn’t mind that we’re going to be getting there early.” Kai kept his eyes on the sky, looking down to make sure they were still going the same way.

“Why are we stopping at the outer wall?” Azula didn’t like the sound of that at all. She had hoped to just fly all the way there, not be dropped off at the outer wall.

“Well Zula, we’re taking the monorail into the city. Unfortunately, the only place Kai can land is in the palace courtyard and you’re not allowed in just yet,” her sister answered sadly.

“I understand not being trusted Maddie. I’m a natural threat. What I don’t understand is why we’re using public transport.”

“Because it’s the fastest way into the city. If we had you go by coach, you would have to take all of the crowded streets in the lower ring. And it would take you hours.”

“Well who is escorting Maddie back to the palace? Uncle has to watch me after all.” She hoped it was Ty Lee taking her. The sooner she got away from her the better.

“I’ll be coming to get her,” Kai said quietly.

“Yeah! It will give me a chance to visit with Uncle and make sure that you’re all settled in,” Maddie said smiling at her.

“Oh yes, his royal tea loving kookiness. These will certainly be the best years of my young life,” Azula retorted. Ty Lee couldn’t help but be nervous about telling her she would be there too. She didn’t want Azula exploding on her or Maddie. They finally landed by the outer wall and Kai shuffled ahead to show the guards their papers.

“Well I guess this is where we leave you,” Toph said, hugging the younger Princess.

“It was wonderful to see you again Princess Azula. It was very nice to see you again Ty Lee, and as always my nephew and his dear friend Maddie,” Elyon said with great sincerity.

“Don’t be afraid to come visit!” Ty Lee said as she embraced the young blond girl. Azula raised her brow at Ty Lee. Ty Lee wasn’t staying... was she? No she couldn’t be. She didn’t have anywhere to stay. It wasn’t like Kyoshi where practically anyone would take her in. They were all let inside the walls, and waited outside for the next train. Luckily, they had been right on schedule as the train pulled into the station. Kai kissed Maddie on the cheek.

“I’ll see you in a few hours. Please be careful.” They all rushed onto the train, Ty Lee pushing Azula excitedly. They all sat, with Azula crammed into a corner. The train started pushing off, and Azula looked out the window pensively.

“Ty Lee, why did you tell them that they should come visit?” Azula demanded. Ty Lee almost froze, but quickly came up with a clever lie.

“Well Ba Sing Se is gorgeous of course! And Toph really likes your uncle! I do too, he’s so funny!” Maddie’s head whipped around to look at Ty Lee.

You didn’t tell her yet?! She mouthed to her.

What was I supposed to say? Ty Lee mouthed back to Maddie. Azula almost caught them, and Ty Lee awkwardly started to whistle like nothing was happening.

“Ty Lee, why are you so.... so.... so?”

“So what Azula?”

“Uh, stupid! Why are you so stupid and annoying! It’s like your head is full of air!”

“Well at least I didn’t spend the last two years in a mental hospital,” Ty Lee retorted.

“Well at least I’m not a silly little girl who only gets what she wants because she’s pretty.”

“Well at least I can still go home to a family who actually loves me!”

“Whoa you two enough enough!!!” Maddie stood between them, “I don’t know what’s going on with you two but the tension is so thick I could cut some of it with a knife and eat it!”

“Azula started it.”

“I may have started it little girl but I can also end it!”

“Whatever Azula. I don’t even care enough to fight with you.” Ty Lee sat back down with her arms pulled across her chest. Maybe it was a bad idea to live with Azula. She hadn’t forgiven her, not even a little.

Azula felt guilty that she had been so cruel to Ty Lee. She didn’t know what else she could say, she just wasn’t- well she just wasn’t nice. She really liked Ty Lee, but she wasn’t going to apologize. Ty Lee hadn’t done anything to deserve an apology.

“You two could really use some therapy to figure everything out. You two are acting worse than you did when you were little.” The train finally stopped and they all proceeded to get off the train. As they walked off, Maddie spotted the kind old man first.

“Uncle Iroh!” she screamed as she ran towards him. She hugged him to her in a tight embrace. Iroh laughed as he tried to pull her off.

“You act like you haven’t seen me in ages child.”

“I haven’t seen you in ages!” He pulled her off and looked at his other niece and her friend.

“Well hello Azula, Ty Lee. It’s good to see both of you again.”

“Oh spare me your fake happiness Uncle.”

“Hello Iroh! It’s wonderful to see you!” Ty Lee ran over and hugged him as well. Azula rolled her eyes at her silly friend. Well, if friend is what you could call it.

“Come on Azula it’s only a small walk. And then I can make you a nice cup of tea and you can relax. And I can catch up with your sister.”

“Well it seems that I don’t really have a choice now do I?” They walked through the street, with Iroh and Maddie in front and Azula and Ty Lee trailing behind.

“Hey Azula?”

“What now?” she replied in her normal, irritated tone.

“I’m sorry about everything I said on the train.” Azula raised her eyebrow at her.

“Yeah, well I suppose I’m sorry too.” They finally made it to Iroh’s new home, which he had saved up to buy in the upper ring. Azula often suspected that Maddie had donated to the cause, but didn’t bother asking. They walked inside, and Azula couldn’t help but notice how there was nothing that even resembled the Fire Nation, not even one keepsake.

“Azula, why don’t you sit down while I show Ty Lee her room?”

“What you’re so poor you can’t even afford a hotel for one night?”

“Actually, I wanted to tell you earlier, but I’m going to be living here,” Ty Lee said nervously.

“You have to be kidding me Uncle.”

“Well I was going to rejoin the circus, so it’s not like you’ll see me around all that often.”

 

~

_“The Royal Procession is dead weight. If I want to catch my prey, I must be agile, nimble. I need a small elite team. It’s time to visit some old friends.” Azula smiled as she thought of her young acrobat friend. She knew where she would find her, and where she would find Mai. Although she wasn’t looking forward to finding Mai. Not like she was with Ty Lee._

_“Ty Lee, could that possibly be you?” She watched her friend standing on her two fingers._

_“Azula!” She flipped out of a stance, twirling into a bow on the ground. Azula really did hate all of the formality. They had known each other since they were six after all. She popped up and ran forward to embrace Azula._

_“It’s so good to see you!” Ty Lee really meant it. She had missed Azula more than anything, she had written to her often. But nothing compared to actually seeing her Princess in person._

_“Please, don't let me interrupt your...” she said raising her brow in wonder, “Whatever it is you were doing.” Ty Lee, still smiling, does a backflip and ends up lying on her chest with one leg stretched out over her head and the other straight up to the sky._

_“Tell me, what is the daughter of a nobleman doing here? Certainly our parents didn't send us to the Royal Fire Academy for Girls to end up in... places like this.”Ty Lee frowned. Azula knew exactly what she was doing there. She hated when Azula had to use all the formality in her speeches._

_“I have a proposition for you. I'm hunting a traitor. You remember my old fuddy-duddy uncle, don't you?”Azula asked, looking down at her nails._

_“Oh yeah. He was so funny.”_

_“I would be honored if you would join me on my mission.”_

_“Oh... I... uh... would love to.” She stood up in a fluid elegant movement, “But the truth is, I'm really happy here,” she said smiling sincerely, “I mean, my aura has never been pinker!”_

_“I'll take your word for it. Well, I wouldn't want you to give up the life you love just to please me.” Azula was clearly lying. She was secretly disappointed that Ty Lee was choosing the circus over her. She knew that she should just ignore it and leave and that would be the end of it. Ty Lee bowed, thankful that Azula was just going to leave it be. Although... it didn’t seem very Azula-like to her._

_“Thank you, Azula.” Azula started walking away, leaving Ty Lee to stretch. But something stopped her. She couldn’t walk away from Ty Lee without getting what she wanted. It just wasn’t in her blood._

_“Of course, before I leave, I'm going to catch your show.”_

_“Uh... yeah... sure... uh... of course...” Ty Lee started to panic. She should have just done what Azula said. She knew that Azula always got what she wanted. She should have just agreed. Now she would have to suffer whatever punishment Azula thought was necessary. And she was scared._

_“We're deeply honored to have the Fire Lord's daughter at our humble circus.Uh...tell us if there is anything we can do to make the show more enjoyable,” the ring master said nervously._

_“I will,” Azula said with a smirk. She was going to get what she wanted. Ty Lee stepped out on the tightrope, trying her best to keep her balance. All she could feel was terror, not because she was up so high. She had done this a million times, but she knew Azula was out there. And Azula wasn’t just going to let this go. She never let anything go when she wanted it._

_“Incredible. Do you think she’ll fall?”_

_“Of course not.”_

_“Then wouldn’t it make it interesting if you removed the net?”_

_“Uh...the thing is...the performers...”_

_“You're right, you're right. That's been done,” she said, thinking for a moment, “I know. Set the net on fire.”_

_“Of course, Princess,” he said worriedly. He set the net on fire, and Ty Lee looked down worried. She looked at Azula, not knowing if she could see her or not. Why would she do this to her? Hadn’t they been something? Weren’t they still something?_

_“Brilliant, just brilliant! Ooooh, what kind of dangerous animals do you have?” she asked ecstatically. The ringmaster looked at her, hoping to get Ty Lee away from her doom._

_“Well, our circus boasts the most exotic assortment-”_

_“Release them all!”_

_Azula went into her dressing room, feeling a twinge of guilt. She wished she could have just left it alone. She wished she could have just walked away. But when it came to Ty Lee, she just couldn’t._

_“What an exquisite performance. I can't wait to see how you'll top yourself tomorrow.”_

_“I'm sorry Azula, but unfortunately there won't be a show tomorrow.” Ty Lee smiled at Azula through the mirror._

_“Really?” Ty Lee hung up her tiara._

_“The universe has given me strong hints that it's time for a career change,” she turned around to face Azula, “I want to join you on your mission.” Azula looked extremely satisfied. The only way to get Ty Lee to do what she wanted was either to make her fear her or make her happy. Azula crept in closer to Ty Lee._

_“I hate punishing you. But you make it too easy.”_

_“I don’t mind. I like when you’re forceful,” Ty Lee whispered. Azula was cornering her like a hunted animal._

_“Oh is that so?” Azula let out a devilish grin. She pinned Ty Lee to the wall, “Is that why you disobey so much?”_

_“Quite possibly,” she grinned. She knew how unhealthy their relationship sometimes got, but she didn’t care. Azula’s mouth was hovering right above her ear._

_“I missed you,” she whispered huskily. Ty Lee wrapped her hands around Azula’s waist._

_“Is that so?” Her mouth was on her neck, and Ty Lee moaned._

_“What if someone walks in?”_

_“Then they’ll just see how lucky I am won’t they?”_

_“Well you were born lucky,” she said as her eyes almost rolled into the back of her head. She sometimes wished she and Azula would just figure out how to end their frustration._

_“I missed you too.” Her voice sounded hoarse as she struggled for coherent thoughts. Azula bit down forcefully, making Ty Lee whimper._

_“Is that why you wrote me just about everyday?” She bit again, “Is that why you left?” Ty Lee was like butter every time she touched her._

_“You know how I feel about you,” she struggled to get out. Her nails were digging into her hands. And she loved every minute._

_“But you know I couldn’t live with you!” Azula pulled away. She smiled._

_“I know. I just like any excuse to be rough with you.”_


	7. Chapter 7

Maddie sat down with her cup of tea and looked across the table at her annoyed sister. She had known this would be the result of allowing Ty Lee to live with her, but she hadn’t expected the blatant rage in her eyes as she watched her sister like she was Zuko. That was something that made Maddie uncomfortable, even though she had nothing to do with the actual decision. The actual decision had been made by Iroh and Ty Lee, as Ty Lee was hoping to live close by. But from the way Azula was looking at her, she could tell that it was too close for comfort. That hadn’t been what she had ever intended for her sister, but she hadn’t known the depth of the love affair between the two until recently.

“So just spit it out. Tell me the rules of my existence here. I’m dying to know,” Azula’s voice sounded as though she was bored, but her eyes were still penetrating her sisters.

“You are to live here with Uncle and work at his tea shop, everyday Monday thru Thursday. Then, every Friday afternoon, either Kai or myself will come to pick you up. And you’ll spend the weekends at the palace with us, honored as a Princess, just like normal. You are not supposed to firebend, but in reality I don’t see how we can stop you from doing so. So, you are allowed to practice in the courtyards with Kai or myself all you want. And you may use it for household tasks and self defense. That is the best I can do, under the circumstances.”

“Did you have something to do with this development Maddie dear?” Azula didn’t honestly think her sister had anything to do with her almost lover being in the same house as her. She wondered if she had previous knowledge of it.

“I did know it was going to happen but all of the decisions and conversations were between Uncle and Ty Lee herself. I actually went as far as to say I thought it was a bad idea. Although I kept that to myself until recently.” Azula smiled. Well, Ty Lee’s life was about to become a living hell. She would leave soon enough. Not before Azula fucked her brains out though. Azula wasn’t going to let her leave without that first.

“Well Maddie, that all seems easy enough.”

“I’m glad. I just want you off the drugs and back to your normal snarky self.” Ty Lee and Iroh came in a sat down. Ty Lee, for whatever reason sat down right next to her. Azula put her hand on top of Ty Lee’s, smirking at her. Ty Lee blushed a little, but didn’t move away. Well, this might be more fun than she thought. Azula thought that she would actually like if Ty Lee stayed, for a long time. Even if she only ever saw her in her bedroom.

Ty Lee was having a hard time ignoring her desire for the Princess. They hadn’t touched each other that way in two years, and all the pent up need was wearing on her. Every time the Princess looked at her, she would go mad. She thought about dragging the Princess into the nearest closed door so they could stop this madness. Or she could at least finally be satisfied in a way she had longed for for years now. But she knew if she gave in too soon, Azula would just laugh at her and leave when she was done with her. That was one of the best parts about being a tease. She could keep going until she got what she wanted, a full relationship.

“So how was the journey here ladies?” Iroh poured himself a cup of tea. Azula smirked, slowly getting closer to Ty Lee.

“There was nothing too eventful. You know how the sea goes Uncle. Why don’t you ask Ty Lee about the Kyoshi warriors?”

“Ty Lee that sounds like a wonderful idea!”

“Oh well it was really-” she stopped as she felt Azula’s hand slipping in between her crossed legs. Azula was just looking ahead as though she wasn’t doing anything. Ty Lee was startled, but something inside her was telling her she wanted more. And when Azula started to lightly touch through her pants, she could have lost it.

“Yes?” Iroh looked at her as though she had five heads. Azula wanted her to try to keep up her act while she did that. Ty Lee smirked a devious smirk and then continued. Challenge accepted.

“It was really nice. We traded moves and they were all so nice to me. Especially Sokka and Suki. They were so wonderful! And all of the boys in the village were so kind.” She couldn’t believe she was holding her own as Azula rubbed her clit through her pants. Ty Lee was dying from desire. Azula could barely contain her own as she watched her friend struggle through the conversation. But Ty Lee could play games. She reached her hand over and touched Azula. Azula’s eyes grew wide for a moment but then she was back to her normal self. Azula knew herself based off of her own exploration of her body. She knew she could orgasm quietly. She didn’t think Ty Lee could. But Ty Lee touching her was something completely different than what she could do herself. Azula wondered what kind of dangerous game she had started. But her Uncle was getting up for more tea, and they both retracted their hands as though their life depended on it. Azula smirked at Ty Lee, and Ty Lee blushed.

“I swear you two have telepathy or something the way you two communicate with just your expressions. It’s really incredible.”

“It just takes almost ten years of practice that’s all,” Azula chuckled. Ty Lee was more flustered than she’d anticipated.

 

~

“I can’t believe you did that!” Ty Lee yelled when they were finally alone.

“Don’t act like you didn’t like it.” Azula was all smirks for her very frustrated friend. Ty Lee couldn’t take her eyes off of her, “You were so wet your pants were damp.” Ty Lee blushed and tried to brush it off.

“You can’t do that in front of people!”

“We got away with it. Besides, you didn’t try to move my hand.”

“Whatever you’re just trying to mess with me. It’s not like you still want me after all this time. I know you think I’m stupid but I’m not that stupid.” Azula got off the bed and stalked over to her with the most serious look on her face.

“I don’t think you’re stupid Ty Lee I think what you just said was stupid. I have never stopped wanting you. And now that I know what I can do with you body, I want you all the time. Just looking at you is enough to get me excited. And when you do all of that contortion stuff it drives me mad.”

“Then you’re just going to fuck me and leave right?” Azula raised her brow.

“That’s what I thought I should do initially. But you’re right. Just because you’re a traitor doesn’t mean I can’t still have feelings for you. It just means I don’t trust you. I trust you as much as my talent at waterbending extends.” Ty Lee smiled.

“Well I’m not asking you to trust me. I’m just asking if it can be the way it was.”

“Maybe we can make it better.” Azula got really close.

“Not yet.” Azula raised her brow, “I need to trust you. Even if you don’t trust me.”

“How childish Ty Lee.”

“I need to know that you’re not just going to leave. That you have more motivation in life than just taking back your title.”

“You might be waiting for an awfully long time Ty.”

 

~

_Eleven year old Azula stood near her father. Her brother hadn’t been banished yet, although her father never hid his disdain for him. Azula was the perfect child, in every way. She had never messed up, not once. That was until that day. All three children were lined up, and Ozai was assessing them. He stood in front of Zuko first. Surprisingly, he would not fail._

_“Zuko, what is your duty?”_

_“To serve you, father. And learn everything needed to carry on the legacy that has been set forth by Sozin, Azulon, and now you of course father.” He nodded, and then turned to Maddie._

_“And you?”_

_“To marry someone with a high title, and bring the family honor.”_

_“Good.” He walked over to Azula assessing her. She was willful, but rarely with him._

_“And you Azula?”_

_“I will marry.” Azula thought that she had responded correctly._

_“Who will you marry?”_

_“Ty Lee,” she said without even thinking about it. Ozai’s hand was on her wrist within an instant and she was being burned. She tried to keep her mouth shut, but it was harder than she had thought as he burned into her wrist._

_“You will not dishonor this family do you understand? I will not have a woman lover in our family do you hear me!” Tears stung the corners of her eyes. Her siblings looked in fear, terrified that if they intervened they would be next._

_“Ozai that is enough!” Iroh yelled. He had entered the room, in an angry fashion. He tore his brother’s arm away from Azula, who was too stunned to move. Her wrist was completely red all the way around, completely scorched with his hatred. Without thinking she ran. She ran out to the courtyard, and hid behind the tree. Her wrist was in  unexplainable pain. She sobbed under the tree. She heard footsteps and got into a firebending stance, ready to defend herself. Her real mother appeared and she ran towards her. The woman carried her to her rooms, where she barred the doors._

_“Kai, get the herbs for burns now.” Kai ran around, the little nine year old scurrying to get what his mother had asked for. He came back with a cream like substance that smelled horribly.  She quickly spread it over Azula’s wounds and she gritted her teeth in pain. She quickly wrapped it in a bandage. Azula clung to her shawl, crying. She didn’t care that Kai saw her._

_“What happened little one?”_

_“He-he asked me what my duty was and I said to marry. He asked who and I didn’t think about it so I answered Ty Lee. And then he burned me.”_

_“Dear, you know that he won’t like that. You just have to hope that Zuko becomes Fire Lord so that you can marry whoever you want.”_

_“I just love her! Why does it matter who I marry!”_

_“It’s cuz you won’t be able to have babies. You don’t even like babies,” Kai muttered._

_“But Zuko and Maddie can have babies. Why does it matter if I do?”_

_“He thinks you got the best genes. He just wants you to have more children like him.”_

_“But I don’t want to be like him! I want him to love me but I don’t want to burn children. I mean I hate them but I don’t hate them that much.”_

_“You don’t have to be like him. You have so much of Ursa in you.”_

_“I don’t want to be like her either!”_

 

~

Ty Lee woke up to Azula screaming in her sleep again. She bolted from her room into Azula’s. She jumped into her bed and shook her.

“Azula! Azula you have to wake up!” Her eyes burst open and her crying started. She clung to Ty Lee as though she would die without her.

“I don’t want to be like either of them! I hate them both!” She blubbered into Ty Lee.

“You don’t have to be like them!”

“He burned me. He burned me because I wanted to marry you! Because I wanted to be with you! How could being with you be wrong?”

“It isn’t wrong. Don’t let him put ideas in your head. He doesn’t control you anymore.”

“He said he doesn’t want any women lovers in his family. That I’m a disgrace like Zuko.”

“You aren’t. You are perfect just the way you are!” Azula looked so damaged, so alone. Ty Lee didn’t know what to do but snuggle her as she shook in her arms.

“Leaves from the vine, falling so slow. Like fragile, tiny shells drifting in the foam. Little soldier boy, come marching home. Brave little soldier boy, come marching home,” Ty Lee sang quietly. Azula stopped, her mind finally clear again.

“I need you Ty Lee. I hate telling you, but I need you. Don’t leave me again.”

“Never. Never again.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sex warning!

_"Hey Azula, why do Juniper and Kai live here? They aren't royalty, but they've been here for as long as I can remember," Ty Lee mused._

_“She told me the story once. I’m afraid you might get bored quickly.”_

_“I never get bored when you’re talking ‘Zula!” Ty Lee rolled onto her belly on Azula’s bed. She watched Azula intently._

_“Well it goes like this. Almost one hundred years ago, the Fire Nation attacked the Western Air temple. Two people escaped, a boy named Cain and a girl named Elyon. Somehow, someway they were frozen in time in the room they had escaped to. About eighty years later, Cain was unfrozen but Elyon wasn’t. Despite his constant pleading, she wouldn’t come unfrozen. So he fled to the Earth Kingdom, not sure if the war was yet over. There, in the city of Omashu, he met a beautiful girl, named Ninnoc. He fell in love with her, and she fell in love with him. And they were extremely happy together. She was an Earth Kingdom Princess, and her father was planning their wedding. They visited another city, that was captured by the Fire Nation that same day. Ninnoc was taken prisoner of war. So Cain went all the way to the Fire Nation. He pleaded with the Fire Lord, my grandfather Azulon, to allow her to live in the palace. In exchange, he would fight for the Fire Nation as the only airbender in the war. My grandfather agreed. They were married in this palace, and they had a son that they named Kai. When he was two years old, Cain was forced to join a minor battle with my uncle Iroh. He died in battle, leaving Ninnoc with Kai to raise alone.”_

_“So why do we call her Juniper?”_

_“I guess it was a nickname Ursa gave to her. And it just stuck because as kids we all had a hard time pronouncing it.”_

_“So... they’re prisoners of war? Like, they can’t leave?”_

_“They can’t leave without permission. I don’t even know if Kai knows he’s a Prince. Although he does act like one.”_

_“Do you think Fire Lord Ozai will try to marry them? Kai and your sister I mean.”_

_“I’m sure he will. He could do nothing but benefit from that.”_

~

Azula had been working for her Uncle for almost a week by that point. It was Thursday and she couldn’t wait to go to the palace and relax with her sister. She couldn’t stand the peasant life. She was good at her job, being able to memorize every order in a packed house and who had ordered it. She had always been able to take charge. Her Uncle made a point of telling her just how talented she was on a daily basis. All of the other servers shrunk whenever Azula was in the room, but of course why wouldn’t they? Even if they didn’t know who she was, she was obviously someone to be feared. She didn’t hate her dismal job as much as she thought she would, but only for that reason: fear.

Ty Lee came in everyday after her rehearsals were over. This circus luckily only played starting Friday nights until Sunday night. She had many shows in between, morning, afternoon and night. But Azula would be away all weekend, so she didn’t mind having something to do. Yet in only a week she had noticed something that had made her uneasy. There was a certain pesky annoyance that walked into the tea shop everyday around the same time as her, but it wasn’t for her. She sat down in her normal spot to watch him carefully. She watched Azula approach him to ask for his order, and she watched the way he looked at her. It made her mad. It made her more mad than she had ever been in all her years.

Azula didn’t notice what was so obvious to Ty Lee. She walked back to the counter to tell her Uncle what he wanted, going about her business as usual. Ty Lee stormed up to the counter, more forcefully than normal. Azula raised her brow to her friend as Ty Lee pulled Azula into the kitchen.

“Ty Lee I’m going to take my break in a minute.”

“Did you notice anything different about that guy you were serving?” They both peaked out to see him staring.

“Yeah he’s staring at you. Big deal. Lots of guys stare at you.”

“No he’s been in here all week looking at YOU!” Ty Lee whispered furiously.

“Please I’m sure he’s just one of the regulars.” Azula rolled her eyes.

“No he is definitely looking at you!”

“Calm down and drink the tea I’m going to bring you in a minute. You’re just imagining things. Like any boys actually look at me, especially in a work uniform.”

“Azula, why are you so stupid sometimes?” She stormed back to her table and eyed the boy with much anger. She watched Azula walk towards the boy with his tea.

“Hey, Azula right?”

“Yes, what do you want?”

“Are you doing anything after this?”

“As a matter of fact, yes.” Azula put the tea down on his table and walked away. The boy looked disappointed. He then looked over at Ty Lee and walked over.

“Hey can I ask about your friend?” Ty Lee’s vicious gaze met the boys eyes.

“Well, is she really doing anything later? Because I’d really like to take her out-”

“Come outside with me. I’ll tell you.” He eagerly followed Ty Lee, and Azula watched the scene in confusion. Ty Lee had just been angry mere seconds ago. Why was she going somewhere with him?

“I think it’s time for your break Azula,” her smiling Uncle called to her. Azula threw down the apron and walked out to listen to them in the alleyway. She heard the boys voice first.

“So what exactly is she doing? I think she’s really hot and-” Ty Lee pinned the boy against the wall, with a complete glare on her face.

“You know what she’s doing later buddy? She’s going to be fucking me. She’s not interested so get lost!” Ty Lee put on a devilish grin and then suddenly chi blocked him. He slumped to the ground and she walked away. She skipped away with the biggest grin on her face. Azula stood in the doorway of the tea shop as Ty Lee walked over to her.

“Oh! I’m sorry you must be on break now!”

“So what did you say to him?” Azula’s brow was raised as she pretended she hadn’t heard.

“Oh he just wanted to know how to get you. So I told him he’d have better luck somewhere else is all.” Ty Lee’s smile was so large that Azula had a hard time holding in her satisfaction in her jealousy. They went back and sat at the table, drinking their tea like nothing was wrong. That night at closing, Azula was extra quick and efficient. Iroh almost wondered what had transpired between the two girls earlier that day. He wondered if he should stay instead of going out for the night like he had planned, but he knew that Ty Lee could handle herself. After they had a quiet dinner, without Azula saying anything, Iroh stood.

“Well I’m going out for the night. Going to see some old friends. You girls will be alright?”

“Uncle we’re not five. We’re grown women. We’ll be just fine.” Iroh couldn’t help but feel a little nervous for the poor brunette next to his niece. He knew they had to deal with whatever was between them. He was still hesitant to leave, and his older man wisdom told him not to go. But he went all the same. Azula smirked with the excitement of being left alone. She knew she had the advantage. But then again, she always did. Azula couldn’t wait to corner Ty Lee, and make her assertion from earlier come true. All of their previous encounters had been leading up to this moment, and Azula couldn’t help but wait for her moment of opportunity.

Ty Lee obediently started washing the dishes in the sink. It wasn’t as though she expected Azula to help. She had never washed a dish in her entire life. Not that Ty Lee had ever been all that good at washing things. She just didn’t want Azula to do too much more, after she knew she was probably tired and irritated. She knew how much Azula hated working in the tea shop, and she felt guilty that she was at least doing what she loved all day. Azula walked in and noticed how Ty Lee slumped her shoulders as she washed the last dish. She walked over, slowly putting her hands on Ty Lee’s shoulders making her jump.

“You’ve been working all day. You should take a break for a minute Ty.”

“Oh but it’s not as bad as what you do all day.” Azula started to massage her aching shoulders. Azula leaned in, catching the smell of Ty Lee’s hair and skin. Her mouth was near Ty Lee’s ear.

“Let me make you feel good,” she whispered huskily. Ty Lee shivered, and couldn’t help but nod. Azula smiled as she whirled Ty Lee around and threw her up on the counter. Her lips were on Ty Lee’s as she parted her legs. She leaned into Ty Lee and Ty Lee sighed. Azula opened her mouth, her tongue swirling around her warm wet crevice, her hands kneading Ty Lee’s knees. Ty Lee moaned into Azula’s mouth, wrapping her arms around Azula’s neck. Azula bit on Ty Lee’s bottom lip, making her moan into her mouth. Azula smirked into her mouth. She moved her mouth down to Ty Lee’s neck, sucking and biting. Ty Lee could have gone mad. She pressed her nails into Azula’s shoulders, which made Azula shudder. Ty Lee did it again and Azula started biting the other girl’s neck. Azula moved up to her ear, licking the lobe. Ty Lee moaned in excitement as the girl’s teeth bit down on her ear. Her hot breath was in her ear, driving her mad.

“Do you want me?” Azula whispered. Ty Lee nodded furiously.

“Do you want me to end your misery tonight? Or wait?” Ty Lee looked into Azula’s eyes. Her eyes were burning with desire, and she didn’t think about the consequences. Her mouth was burning on Azula’s in an instant. Azula wrapped Ty Lee’s legs around her waist as she carried her to her bedroom, slamming the door shut with her foot. She was getting tired, after not being able to exercise in two years. She pushed Ty Lee onto the bed and followed her down. Ty Lee was tearing at Azula’s clothes, trying to get them off. The young firebender practically jumped out of them, and then started to throw Ty Lee’s clothes off. She stared down at Ty Lee’s pink lacy bra and panties and her soul lit with desire. Ty Lee’s lips were on hers and she moaned into Ty Lee. Their bodies were touching and Ty Lee thought she would die in anticipation. Azula had turned her past the point of no return, as soon as she had seen those practical red undergarments. Azula tore off Ty Lee’s bra and underwear and basked in her body. Ty Lee blushed as she watched Azula looking down upon her.

“You are so beautiful,” Azula whispered as she took a nipple in her mouth. Ty Lee could have lost it right there. Azula’s tongue was swirling around her exposed breast. She felt Azula’s teeth graze her nipple and she moaned.

“Azula!” Azula smirked as she continued to the next breast, careful not to neglect the valley between them. Ty Lee was panting as Azula started to reach with her free hand towards her thigh. Azula’s nimble fingers brushed the inside of her thigh and she groaned in ecstasy. Then, Azula’s forehead was near her own, as her fingers were on Ty Lee’s entrance. She slid one finger into her soft wetness, and Ty Lee groaned. Azula carefully started to rub Ty Lee’s clit with her thumb. She started to pump in and out. Ty Lee’s cries were getting louder and louder, her whole body shuddering under Azula. When Azula inserted another finger, she clenched her hands onto Azula’s shoulders. Her hips started to move of their own accord, meeting Azula’s fingers for every stroke. Azula’s force started to increase and Ty Lee, got closer and closer to her breaking point until she had a large scream of pleasure, her liquids drenching Azula’s fingertips. She licked Ty Lee’s juices off of her hand, giving a devilish smirk. Suddenly, Ty Lee flipped Azula onto her back.

Ty Lee quickly stripped Azula down to nothing, and she looked in awe at Azula’s glorious naked form. She started on the place behind Azula’s ear that always elicited a moan. Ty Lee took Azula’s hair down from her topknot, reveling in the feel of her hair against her skin. She leaned into Azula’s ear, her hot breath on Azula.

“You didn’t think I was going to let you have all the fun now did you?” she whispered as she bit Azula’s ear. Azula loved when Ty Lee took control. It drove her mad. Ty Lee’s mouth was on her neck, and her hands were on her breasts. She stroked Azula’s nipples, and she heard the intake of breath. She smiled against Azula’s neck as she continued. She slowly lowered her mouth to Azula’s collarbone, biting softly. Her mouth enveloped one perky nipple, stroking, tasting her. Her hand started to stroke Azula’s entrance. Azula moaned, ready for the pleasure she was about to receive. But Ty Lee had a different idea. Her mouth got lower and lower, until she was right above the one part of Azula she had only been able to dream about. Azula was panting in pleasure as she looked down at the little acrobat. But Ty Lee started kissing down Azula’s inner thigh and she started to feel all the pressure building even higher.

“Tease,” she panted helplessly. It wasn’t a position she was in all that often. That’s when Ty Lee couldn’t help but put her mouth on the part Azula was begging for. She never denied her anything. Azula nearly jumped out of her skin as Ty Lee’s mouth was on Azula’s clit, making her moan. Ty Lee felt so powerful as she saw Azula writhing in pleasure, her neck arched back. Her body arched into her, and she slid a finger in. Azula met Ty Lee, her body no longer under her control. Her body finally convulsed with pleasure, and Ty Lee caught her sweet liquids in her mouth. She licked her lips and Azula pulled her up towards her.

“How about round two tomorrow Princess?” Azula smiled.

“Well, if you tell more guys I’m going to fuck you, it might be arranged.”

“It got you into bed with me now didn’t it?” Azula looked at her with a shocked expression. Ty Lee had planned it all along. Ty Lee snuggled into her, and Azula pulled the blankets around them.

“Azula?”

“Yeah?”

“It was the perfect way to lose my virginity. Just so you know.”

“It was the perfect way for me too.”


	9. Chapter 9

~

Azula woke with all of her muscles aching. She silently wondered if her muscles ached because of picking Ty Lee up, since her arms hurt the most. She reached over to the empty spot next to her and sighed. Why would Ty Lee actually stay? Had she really been that stupid? She had gotten what she wanted and left. Of course she had. No one stayed with Azula unless they could benefit from it. Azula sat up and set her head in her hands. She silently swore vengeance on everyone who had ever done something like this to her.

“Good morning sleepy head!” Ty Lee burst in with a cup in her hand, all smiles. Azula looked up, and felt an internal sigh of relief. She smiled shyly, not sure what she was doing. The Princess felt a little off guard for the first time in a long time. Ty Lee sat on the bed next to her.

“I know how much you hate tea, so I made you some coffee!” She handed the cup to Azula, who took it gratefully. She took a sip, and was surprised to actually like what she tasted. It was the first thing she had tasted in the Earth Kingdom that hadn’t been completely bland. She smiled down into it, trying not to show how happy she was. She didn’t want Ty Lee to have any advantages over her.

“So Kai is coming to get you at noon.”

“What time is it now?”

“It’s about ten thirty.” Ty Lee started to get up.

“Ty?” Ty Lee turned around, still smiling her normal smile.

“Don’t worry Azula. It meant nothing. I know. You don’t have to tell me,” she said in her normal, cheerful voice. Azula raised her brow and continued to stare into her coffee.

“Actually I wasn’t going to say that. I was going to say I’m sad that I wasn’t awake early enough for another round or two. Oh and this coffee is really good,” She smirked up at her. Ty Lee smiled and blushed.

“Well, uh, I’ll just.... leave you to get ready.” Azula smirked and got up. Ty Lee belonged to her, after all the time she had waited. She finally had her right where she wanted her: underneath her. Literally. She ran the brush through her hair and pulled it up into a topknot. She tied a small green ribbon in the top of it, and smiled into the mirror. She was finally going to get some more royal treatment, something she obviously deserved. She carried her coffee out to the table and sat down. She bit down into a very bland Pau bun, making her long for Fire Nation food. She knew her sister would have some and for that she was grateful. Ty Lee sat down and made a disgusted face as she took a bite of the same thing.

“I’ll try to bring you back something so you stop making that face.” Ty Lee smiled.

“Oh! You should bring back some fire gummies! I hope she doesn’t try to make you eat smoked sea slug again. You had such a hard time pretending you liked it when we were little.” Azula made a disgusted face as she remembered pretending to like her father’s favorite food. Maddie had said it was decent, but she hadn’t liked it much either. They had to lie their way through dinner once a week, and when they had been seven, she had made Ty Lee wash her mouth out with soap.

“I think you should go buy some soap just in case Ty Lee.” Ty Lee giggled.

“I’ll do just that!” Ty Lee’s grin was almost infectious. Almost. There was a knock at the door, and Ty Lee jumped up to get it.

“Hello Kai! Come in I got Azula up a while ago!” Kai walked in the door with a smile on his face. He had always had faith that hard work couldn’t do anything to Azula. He had even hoped it would improve her spirits. She looked a lot like she had, and that gave him a sense of relief. She smirked at him and he smirked back. The only one who fully understood Azula was Kai, because they were so much alike that it scared Azula. Except, instead of power, he was motivated by his love for her sister.

“So I see your fuddy-duddy uncle hasn’t killed you yet.”

“No. His royal tea loving kookiness hasn’t been the end of me. If the Avatar, Zuzu, and the insane asylum couldn’t destroy me, then what makes you think he is capable?” Azula smirked.

“You survived Ozai and Ursa. Obviously a little tea won’t kill you. Although I see you’ve discovered coffee. It’s much better than all the bland food we have here.”

“Kai I swear you read my mind. It’s a little scary.” Kai smiled. Ty Lee couldn’t help but feel like those two had been meant to be siblings. They were so much closer than Zuko and Azula had ever been, even as children.

“Azula, I have to be off now. I’ll see you on Sunday.” Ty Lee ran over and kissed her on the cheek. She winked at Kai and skipped out the door. Azula rose and looked at Kai.

“Well I suppose we should go. I do miss my sister. But mostly I miss my hair being washed for me.” Kai laughed.

“I’m sure you could get Ty Lee to do it. She’s followed you around like a puppy since you two met. You could get her to jump through hoops for you.”

“Ah, but you see I’ve already gotten her to jump through other hoops. Pick your battles early,” she smiled at her favorite male.

 

~

_“Where is he? Where's the Fire Lord?”Aang demanded. Azula rose from the throne._

_“You mean I'm not good enough for you?” Azula pretended to be hurt, “You're hurting my feelings.”_

_“Stop wasting our time and give us the information,” Sokka said, pointing his sword at Azula, “You're powerless right now, so you're in no position to refuse.”_

_“And stick to the truth. I'll be able to tell if you're lying,” Toph said, clenching her fists. Azula took a few steps towards them, and then stopped._

_“Are you sure? I'm a pretty good liar,” she said, pausing,“I am a 400 foot tall purple platypus bear with pink horns and silver wings.”_

_“Okay, you're good, I admit it,” Toph trapped Azula with her earthbending, “But you ought to consider telling the truth anyway!” The earth suddenly broke and crumpled away and Azula started to dust herself off, reveling in the surprise of the three goodie two shoes._

_“When I left Ba Sing Se I brought home some souvenirs: Dai Li agents!” Two Dai Li agents descended into the room. Aang sent an air swipe at them with his glider, however, the agents quickly conjured up an earth wall that blocked the attack. Aang burst through the stone wall the agents had created and the team ran toward the Fire Nation princess. A stone column erupted from the surface, which Aang managed to dodge. Toph bent two stone slabs sending the agents toward the two sidewalls of the room. The agents each landed on one sidewall and sent two earth pillars straight at Toph, who conjured two earth walls to block their attacks. She then proceeded to send a stream of earth at Azula, who nimbly back-flipped onto the throne after being pushed back by the stream. She smirked as she landed. She almost wished that her father or Ty Lee had been there to see her beautiful performance._

_Aang raced toward her, an agent followed close behind. He looked up to catch sight of the agent rocketing along a wall. The agent landed before him and built up an earth wall which Aang broke through. He sent an air blast at Azula, who managed to slip away as the blast destroyed the throne. Aang attempted the knock her down by sending an air swipe, however, Azula avoided his attack, acutely leaping and flipping between two metal beams. She landed on the ground deftly and continued running away. She knew she was much too fast for them._

_The princess leaped from one metal beam to the other. Aang sent another air swipe at her only to miss her yet again. Azula slid down a stone pillar created earlier by a Dai Li agent. She flipped onto one of the stone walls Toph conjured up to protect herself before and jumped onto the other one before landing on the ground again. She began running toward a stone wall. A Dai Li agent slid down a stone column to the floor where he then launched Azula into the air by bending an earth pillar below her feet. Sokka climbed his way through the hole in the stone wall. Azula then leapt through the wall, hovering mere inches over Sokka's face, smiling evilly at him as she passed. She landed onto the ground and began running again._

_Sokka dodged again to avoid a Dai Li agent and Aang and Toph each leapt through the hole, one after the other. Sokka landed onto the ground and followed the group._

_“I can't pin her down! She's too quick!” Aang cried in anger. Azula raced through a door, entering a tunnel. A Dai Li agent followed close behind, earthbending a stone wall to block the entranceway. He proceeded to run after the princess. Aang burst the wall and chased them. The Dai Li agent was suddenly pushed over by a stone column that jutted out from the side of tunnel's wall. A hole appeared and Toph emerged from it. The agent landed into a crevice of a nearby metal beam and prepared to attack Toph only for the blind earthbender to destroy his rock gloves and metalbended the grooves of the beam together, trapping him. She and Aang continued chasing Azula. Sokka quickly ran up to them._

_“Wait! Aang! Toph! Stop attacking! Don't you see what she's doing? She's just playing with us. She's not even trying to win this fight!” Sokka cried._

_“Not true. I'm giving it my all,” Azula said calmly._

_“You're trying to keep us here and waste all our time!” Toph cried._

_“Um, right, I think your friend just said that, genius. And since you can't see, I should tell you I'm rolling my eyes,” Azula said sarcastically, rolling her eyes in disgust._

_“I'll roll your whole head!” Toph said angrily._

_“She's just baiting you again.”_

_“Okay, so what do we do, just ignore her?”_

_“We don't have a choice. We just have to get out of here and find the Fire Lord on our own somehow.” They started walking away, but unfortunately, Azula knew exactly what she was doing._

_“It's a trap. Don't say I didn't warn you,” she said cooley._

_“Ignore!” Sokka called back. Too bad for him Azula was all too crafty._   
_“So, Sokka's your name, right? My favorite prisoner used to mention you all the time. She was convinced you were going to come rescue her. Of course you never came, and she gave up on you.” Sokka shed a few tears and then flew towards Azula with blind rage. She dropped the dagger from her sleeve to her left hand, careful not to let the beads to be cut by it. Toph sensed the weapon and pinned Azula's hand to the tunnel wall by sending a rock aimed at her wrist. Sokka grabbed her by the shoulder, coming face-to-face with her._

_“Where is Suki?” He said, pausing between every word._

_“Where's Suki? Answer me!”_

_“Sokka, she won’t talk.”_

_“Where are you keeping her?” Azula smugly smiled, keeping her lips closed._

_“Oh, sounds like the firebending’s back on.” She kicked her leg in a wide arc, sending a fire blast that nearly struck Sokka. Sokka took several steps back as he narrowly avoided Azula's attacks. She then back-flipped onto the tunnel wall and used firebending to break free from Toph's earth cuffs. She flipped forward, extending her leg forward, nearly striking Aang, who managed to dodge the incoming danger. She rose from the ground and smirked._

_“Dad's all the way at the end of the hall then down a secret stairway on the left. I'm sure he'd be more than happy to see you now.” Azula then ran away, grinning. Until she realized how much her wrist hurt. She hadn’t noticed while she had been taunting that watertribe boy. It ached, as though the earthbender had meant to do more than restrain her. She stalked back to her private bunker room in the volcano, only to see none other than her favorite acrobat._

_“Everything went well?”_

_“Oh yes. I taunted that watertribe boy and had a little fun with the little blind girl.” Azula twisted her wrist, trying to get rid of the pain._

_“Oh no they hurt you!”_

_“Please Ty Lee it’s just a cramp.” Ty Lee ran towards her and took her wrist into her_

_hand. As she touched it, she noticed Azula’s eye twitch._

_“It is NOT just a cramp! They really hurt you! I told you that I should have gone with you! This is all my fault!”_

_“Don’t be such a silly girl.” Ty Lee looked at it more closely._

_“I think it’s just a mild sprain. I’ve had lots of them in the circus. Stay right here.” Ty Lee_

_shuffled, looking through her bag. She wrapped Azula’s wrist in a brace carefully, and the Princess smiled down at her friend._

_“You should put some ice on it later.” Ty Lee smiled up at her._

_“Sometimes I swear you do too much for me.”_

 

~

“Azula! I’m so glad you’re here!” Her sister excitedly embraced her older sibling. She pulled away looking at her up and down.

“I’m glad I’m here too. This place is much better than Uncle’s place.”

“Of course it is. It’s a palace after all. It’s very different from home, but then again you

already know. You were here, after all, and I always forget.”  They sat in one of the many drawing rooms, probably the one that Maddie had invaded. She had always been into those girly things that her mother had taught her, something Azula didn’t really understand. She could never take up embroidery or drawing, not when she could be fighting or playing with her cousin. Or pushing her friends around, something she had always enjoyed.

“So what do you want to do first Azula? Do you want to practice bending or do you want to spend the rest of today spa-ing with me?”

“We have time for everything, no need to rush. But I haven’t been able to really bend in awhile and I would really love to do that.”

 

Azula stood outside in the courtyard as Kai and Maddie watched her. Her arms went in a circular motion, but she couldn’t summon any lightning. She glared, incredibly angry with herself. She had to be perfect and she was about to through a mental temper tantrum. Maddie came up to her and touched her shoulder lightly.

“Maybe you should try something just a little easier. You could show me how you can easily switch from blue to orange fire again. I know you just have to warm up.” Azula looked down at her little sister. She didn’t like the possibility that she might be right, or worse. She didn’t want to lose her lightning. It was one of the most important things she had ever had. Her sister backed away as Azula spun around, shooting blue flames from her feet and orange from her hands. She switched them off and on as she moved around the courtyard. She then took her stance and aimed into the air. The lightning came out as normal and she smiled.

“Perfect. Not a hair out of place Azula. You really are amazing.”

“Did you ever learn Maddie?”

“Papa was going to teach me, but he didn’t have time to get to it.” Maddie looked at the ground sadly. She had been closer to her father than she liked to admit, despite all of his evil ways and shortcomings.

“Well then get over here. We’re going to do it right now.”

“Really Azula?” Maddie jumped up and down excitedly, running towards her sister. She stood at attention, ready for any instructions from her sister.

“Now, as you’ve seen me do a million times, lightning requires a circular arm motion. Mentally, it requires absence of emotion and peace of mind which is why Zuzu couldn’t ever do it. Now physically you have to separate yin and yang in the air. I know you’ll be able to do it. Now let me see you try. You’ve seen me do it enough times.” Maddie took her stance, and mimicked her sister. Suddenly, the lightning flew from her fingertips, and when it was gone she jumped with joy.

“I knew you were a prodigy. You did it on your first try, just like me. I always knew you were more like me than you were like Zuko. I’m proud. Father would be proud too.” Maddie smiled, never feeling more accomplished in her whole life. She always fought for her sister’s approval, and to a lesser extent her father’s. But that was only because Azula believed his words were so important. She had always idolized her sister, ever since they were children.

Later, both girls sat together. Maddie couldn’t think of anything she would rather do than spend time with her sister. She loved her more than anyone in the world, even more than she did Kai. It was a different kind of love, but it was still somehow stronger. She would never abandon Azula, or give up hope for her to become a less power crazed version of herself.

“So what should we do first? Should we go have our hair washed, or get a pedicure? Or a manicure or facial? Or we could go take a hot bath, or we could go eat some Fire Nation food.”

“I think we should start with our hair, get in a bath, then do the rest you just mentioned. I see no reason for us not to get our royal whims pleased.”

“Sounds perfect to me! Kai’s mom wants to see you a little later, so we’ll save dinner for last. Miss Yuldez, could you please make sure the bath is ready after we get our hair washed? Thank you.” The servant bowed and scurried away as Maddie and Azula sat down, both girls untying their hair.

“I will never understand why you always say thank you to all the servants.”

“It’s just common courtesy. I’ve always done it. And you always say that,” Maddie laughed as they started wetting her hair. Azula relaxed as they started gently rubbing her scalp, while the other combed her hair under the water. The royal spa had always been the favorite place of the older Princess, and it was one of the places that she and her sister spent their time bonding. She was surprised that the Earth Kingdom palace had one as well, but she was relieved. She couldn’t wait for her nails to grow out more, because she loved manicures, one of her secret pleasures.

“So how’s everything with you and Ty Lee? Are you trying to kill each other yet?”

“We’re doing better than I expected. So I haven’t pulled her hair out yet. Although there may have been some biting and clawing.”

“Well she’s lucky you don’t have your nails back quite yet,” her sister laughed, not taking what she said seriously. She had no idea what was transpiring between the two childhood friends, and she was too naive to get her sister’s insinuation.

“Palace life is treating you well I see.”

“Well, the food is so bland that Kai had to find a Fire Nation chef, because even he couldn’t stand it after awhile. I mean he did live with us all his life, and even his mother after fourteen years of living with us, couldn’t take the boringness of the food. And you need not worry. There will be no smoked sea slug. I specifically requested all of your favorites, although Komodo sausage is much harder to find here. I had to make sure it was imported. I even imported your favorite dessert, superspicey soufle.”

“You wouldn’t happen to have any fire gummies would you?”


	10. Chapter 10

“Azula, look at you! You are much too thin! You better eat everything they put on that plate and more! I can’t believe how under fed you are! Is your uncle feeding you well enough?”

“He’s been feeding me fine, it’s only been two weeks since I got out of prison. And one of those weeks was traveling here after all.” Azula smiled at her true mother, the one woman who was there for her no matter what.

“You’re practically bones! I heard you can still do lightning, though I’m not sure how. I still can’t believe how they treated you,” Juniper sighed crossing her arms in front of her chest. She looked at her daughters from the other end of the table, but was surprised that Azula looked as well as she did. She had heard about how she had suffered, before Zuko and Mai had been caught. Before she had left she had tried to suggest some lighter drug for Azula. She had known Azula wasn’t really crazy, she had merely had a mental breakdown. She had been forced to grow up so fast, and she felt abandoned by everyone. It was bound to happen sooner or later, but unfortunately it had happened at the worst possible moment.

“Well I’m sure I’ll get revenge someday.” Azula looked hungrily as she saw all the food on her plate. They were in a small, private room, but even then she still felt like she had to eat in a ladylike manner. Her sister and Kai didn’t seem to worry themselves too much about it as they dove into the food in front of them.

“Azula, dear. You don’t have to eat all ladylike on our account. There isn’t anyone else here. It’s like when we used to do this back home.” Azula’s eyes widened a little, and then she started into her food. She had missed food that actually had some kind of taste, and she had never felt more hungry in her whole life. She hadn’t had real food in two years, and she hadn’t realized how much she had missed it.

“Now I insist you have seconds honey. I’m going to fatten you back up if I have to keep your mouth full of food every weekend.” Azula smiled up, still feeling a little shy. It wasn’t like her. They used to have family dinners all the time back in the Fire Nation. They had many without her father overlooking everything they did, and those had always been her favorite. But, her health had never been the center of any conversation. Azula was never sick, never missed a day of exercise, and was always the perfect weight for her height. But now her bones stuck out in places they shouldn’t, and she felt more frail than normal. Conjuring lightning had taken more of her energy than she would have like to admit.

“Now, why isn’t Miss Ty Lee here? She normally follows you around like a puppy, and I have missed her over the past two years.”

“She rejoined the circus Mum,” Kai answered around a bite of his roast duck.

“She has shows on the weekends. She rehearses all week, but she has shows all day tomorrow and Sunday until the evening,” Azula answered.

“Oh well good for her. She always did love the circus. It’s sad that we won’t be able to see her for quite awhile. I do miss her. She’s such an interesting, bubbly young girl.”

“Well she’s in Uncle’s tea shop everyday at four if you ever have time to stop by.”

“I’ve been meaning to pay him a visit. I might do just that. Now Azula, you should eat some more. You really do have me worried.”

“Mum, stop trying to talk to her AND stuff food down her throat.”

“Well I’ve just missed her!” Azula smiled and took a bigger bite. She had missed all of this. The happy family part of her life. She hadn’t had that with her blood family since they were very small, and they went to Ember Island every year, which sometimes she dreaded because of the horrible Ember Island players. Juniper had never seemed this worried about her before though.

“I also see you went to the palace spa. Please feel free to use it, we barely do and we pay all of those people. You’ll like it more when your nails grow back. Our manicurists are wonderful I promise you.”

“They’re starting to grow back out. They at least were able to make them better looking.”

“I’m glad your hair has grown back too. You always had the most beautiful hair.”

 

~

_Ty Lee didn’t want to see Azula in the prison. But she knew she couldn’t just leave Azula without saying goodbye. She knew Azula wasn’t going to forgive her yet, so she was going to give her some space and then come back in a couple of months. She walked through the halls, following the guards. She didn’t understand why she was being taken to such a secluded section of the building. Azula was kept away from the other mental patients and was put with the high security prisoners. As she walked she saw a golden pair of eyes staring at her with anger. She shuddered as she passed Ozai without a word. She wasn’t here for him, and she never would be._

_She remembered that Maddie had said that Zuko wouldn’t let her visit Azula or Ozai just yet. It had been a few months since the war was over, and she had been begging. The only reason they had allowed Ty Lee was because she was planning on leaving in a few days. As they approached the last cell at the end of the hall, she couldn’t believe how nervous she felt. She knew Azula was going to be mad at her no matter what she did. But she had to say goodbye for now._

_Ty Lee could never had imagined what was before her eyes. The room was freezing, and she realized it was designed to be exactly like one of the coolers in the Boiling Rock. But they had clearly been overly determined to keep Azula from firebending. Azula’s arms were chained to the wall, and her feet were chained to the floor. Her prison uniform looked thin, and Ty Lee could see Azula shivering in the dark cell. Her hair covered her face, but her hands were covered in goosebumps. Ty Lee slowly walked over to Azula, carefully pushing the hair out of her face. Azula’s eyes looked dazed as she looked forward blankly. She didn’t seem to recognize that someone was there. Ty Lee then saw the muzzle over her face. The metal covered her nose and mouth. If she had attempted to firebend, she would have melted it to her face. If she had been able to firebend._

_Ty Lee walked over to the guard, “Sir, could you please turn up the heat? It’s far too cold in there for me.”_

_“Of course, but only while you’re in there Miss.” Ty Lee shut the door behind her as the room started to heat a bit. She quickly tore the muzzle off of Azula. She pulled a pin out of her hair and jammed it into her shackles, releasing her from all of them. She took Azula into her arms trying to warm her up. Azula’s foggy gaze didn’t clear up anymore than it was before._

_“How could they do this to you?” Ty Lee started crying, “How could they treat you worse than Ozai? At least he can walk around and isn’t freezing to death. How could they do this to you?” She buried her face into Azula’s hair. Her beautiful Azula was treated like the most dangerous person in the world, not family. Ty Lee thought she smelled smoke, but that couldn’t be right. She looked up and smoke was coming out of Azula’s nose, as she was warming herself up. Most firebenders couldn’t bend for a whole week after even a day in a cooler. But Azula had been this way for months and within a few minutes of being free, she was firebending. Ty Lee finally understood. They were terrified of her. She was the only real threat they had. Azula smirked into the nothingness she was looking at. She was the most powerful firebender in the world, and Ty Lee had never noticed._

 

_“What the fuck is this Zuko?” Ty Lee threw the muzzle at his feet. She watched as Maddie and Kai looked at it in confusion. She knew neither of them had anything to do with the horrible practice. Mai and Zuko looked at one another, trying to figure a way out of what they had gotten themselves into._

_“Are you so fucking afraid of her that you put a muzzle on her? That you put her in a cooler? That you chained her to the wall? That you doped her up on drugs? You both make me sick you know that! She doesn’t deserve to be treated like this!”_

_“Ty Lee she is the greatest threat to the Fire Nation. All of the colonies have pledged their allegiance to her, even though she’s in prison,” Zuko said._

_“And I’m sure if she escaped she would take you down in a minute. I warmed up the room a little and she could instantly firebend. You are both cowards.”_

_“Zuko, did you really do this?” Maddie had tears streaming down her face. She had picked up the mask, seeing exactly how painful it would be on._

_“It is what has to be done,” Zuko looked away, ashamed._

_“Well you’re not going to do it anymore Zuko!” Maddie yelled._

_“Maddie you aren’t in charge!”_

_“I don’t care if I have to break her out and become a traitor! I don’t care if you banish me on the spot! She is our sister and I won’t let you do this! She is a human being! You don’t even treat Papa like that!” Kai placed his hand gently on her shoulder._

_“Look Zuko. I don’t usually pull this bullshit, but my grandfather is the Earth King. I will make sure you pay one way or another. You will treat her like a normal prisoner, and you will allow her to have visitors. Do I make myself clear?”_

_“You can’t talk to the Fire Lord that way!” Mai’s eyes were full of anger._

_“I just did. Get over it. She’s a human being!”_

_“Fine Kai. I don’t need you threatening me. Maddie, you’ll have to visit her everyday.”_

_“With pleasure.” Ty Lee started to walk out of the room, the two younger children behind her._

_“Ty Lee I’m sorry,” Zuko said._

_“No you’re not.”_

 

~

“Now don’t be afraid to send us a hawk if you need anything dear. I mean it.”

“Thank you Mom.” Azula embraced Juniper, and then her sister. They had all walked her back to her Uncle’s house. She was sad to go, although she wouldn’t admit it. Juniper looked at Iroh and smiled.

“You better make sure she’s eating Iroh or I will beat you.”

“Don’t worry I’m cooking dinner now. Ty Lee should be home any moment.”

“Perfect. Make sure she has two helpings. She is far too skinny.”

“Alright Mum that’s enough. She’s heard enough about her weight for one weekend. That stuff makes girls feel self-conscious as it is.”

 

Ty Lee walked into the house a little later than normal. Dinner was being laid out, and Azula had somehow managed to fall asleep while sitting up. Ty Lee giggled and then shook her friend a little.

“Azula it’s time for dinner sleepy head.” Azula’s eyes shot open, although she felt groggy. They had fed her so much that she was tired. She had tried to work some of it off by firebending, but she still felt incredibly full. Her uncle had made an incredibly large dinner, which Ty Lee was grateful for, but Azula’s stomach was not quite settled.

“Now Azula, I’m sure Juniper has made it clear that you need to eat more. Just eat what you can, I am certain she has filled you with food. Ty Lee eat as much as you want!” The young acrobat was always eating, and she loaded her plate high. Azula took a meager handful of things, afraid she might throw it up. Iroh took the same approach as Ty Lee, and Azula wondered how much fatter he could get.

“So what did you do this weekend Zula?” Ty Lee continued stuffing her face full of food as she looked at Azula.

“Just the same usual Princess things. I practiced some lightning and other firebending, ate lots of food, went to the royal spa with Maddie. The normal things I did.”

“You can actually summon lightning?”

“Surprised? I’m not an old man like you.”

“I wished I could have seen it Zula!”

 

~

_“Look Ty Lee I can bend blue fire now!” The ten year old girl beamed at her best friend. Ty Lee looked at Azula with such wonder. She had always wished that she could have been able to firebend. It would have given them another thing in common. Azula looked so confident and happy with her newest accomplishment. She longed to show Ty Lee, but wouldn’t stoop to asking if she longed to see it. She waited patiently to see if Ty Lee would ask, and Ty Lee never failed her._

_“Show me Azula! I really want to see it! I didn’t think anyone could do that, not even your father! You must be the best firebender in the world.” Azula stood a good distance away from Ty Lee, and started to twirl around. Her flames were so beautiful, the most beautiful thing Ty Lee had ever seen. Sometimes she thought she saw a few other colors within them and she couldn’t help but watch her. A tiny bit of ash fell from one of the nearby plants and stung her skin._

_“Ouch!” She tried to say quietly. Azula stopped and then walked over to her._

_“Don’t worry Zula you didn’t burn me. It’s just a little burn from one of the ashes. See I’m just fine!” Azula looked the other girl’s hand. One tiny spot was only mildly red, but she had never burned anyone before. She wasn’t sure that she liked it. She slowly brought the hand to her mouth, planting a light kiss upon it. Ty Lee blushed, and then grinned. Azula held her hand in both of her own smiled at her friend. She knew she would make an extra effort to never accidentally burn Ty Lee ever again, even if her life depended on it. She swore it silently, and noticed the shaped the ash had made. It was a small, tiny leaf shape and it remained on her left hand as a tiny reminder of the constant control Azula always had to keep, for the rest of her life._


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sex warning

_Azula paced back and forth as she started to address the Dai Lee. She had always been an amazing orator, and she was never nervous._

_“The Earth King and the Council of Five do not trust the Dai Li. They imprisoned your leader, Long Feng. Soon they will turn on all of you and eliminate you. Seizing power today is a matter of life and death,” she approached an agent that started looking nervous, “This coup must be swift and decisive. The Earth King and each of the five generals must be taken out simultaneously. Long Feng has placed you in my command while we overthrow the government.” Azula stared at the nervous agent and walked up to him, while still talking to the other agents._

_“If I sense any disloyalty, any hesitation, any weakness at all,” she stopped right in front of the nervous agent, “I will snuff it out.,” she continued walking, “That is all.” The Dai Lee left and Azula walked towards Ty Lee who was pouring some tea._

_“Nice speech, Azula. It was pretty and poetic, but also scary in a good way,” Ty Lee said as she handed the cup to Azula. Azula couldn’t help but smile, Ty Lee always knew how to suck up. Azula appreciated her always complimenting her, but she couldn’t help but be worried about this coup._

_“Yeah. I thought you were going to make that one guy pee his pants,” Mai said, amused. She was almost never amused, and Azula almost had to double take._

_“There are still a few loose ends. The Avatar, and my brother and uncle.”_

 

_“Yeah, what are you in time for, cutie?” Ty Lee cartwheeled towards Sokka. Azula knew she had to hide until the right moment, but hearing the words come out of that girl’s mouth made her incredibly angry._

_“Uh, I’m kinda involved with Suki.”_

_“Who?” Azula could have dragged that girl by her braid and dropped her off of the tallest building nearby. And Ty Lee would probably sputter her protests the whole way there._

_“They're not the real Kyoshi Warriors!”_

_“Sorry to disappoint you.” She shot some of her daggers at Toph, who used an earth shield to stop them, then kicked the shield to Mai, who jumped over it. Toph brought up another pillar, knocking her. Ty Lee came up to Sokka, laughing. She started trying to jab him, but he evaded all of them._

_“Oooh, it's like we're dancing together!” Azula ran for her opportunity, and held a knife to the Earth King’s neck._

_“This fight is over.” Toph and Sokka surrendered, and Ty Lee chi blocked them. Momo tried flying away, but a Dai Li agent trapped him with a rock glove. Azula then shoved Kuei down._

_“Get them all out of my sight.” Toph, Sokka, Kuei, and Bosco were all taken to prison. Long Feng then walked into the room with some Dai Li agents behind him._

_“Now comes the part where I double cross you. Dai Li, arrest the Fire Nation princess!” None of the Dai Li agents moved, to Long Feng's disappointment, “I said arrest her! What is wrong with you?!”_

_“It's because they haven't made up their minds. They're waiting to see how this is going to end.” Azula felt so smug._

_“What are you talking about?”_

_“I can see your whole history in your eyes. You were born with nothing, so you've had to struggle, and connive, and claw your way to power. But true power, the divine right to rule, is something you're born with. The fact is, they don't know which one of us is going to be sitting on that throne, and which one is going to be bowing down,” Long Feng looks worried, “But I know, and you know,” She sat down on the throne and crosses her legs, “Well?”  Long Feng walked up and bowed to her._

_“You've beaten me at my own game.”_

_“Don't flatter yourself! You were never even a player.”_

 

_Azula’s mood didn’t improve. She still felt incredibly cold when she talked to Zuko. She normally felt a feeling of satisfaction when she manipulated people, but all she could think about was Ty Lee and that watertribe boy kissing, touching each other, sleeping together, what their babies would look like. She knew she shouldn’t get so obsessed. The sadist in her told her to find the boy and torture him until he died a slow painful death, and make Ty Lee watch the whole thing. And then she could force her to have sex with her near his corpse. She didn’t like how upset silly, insignificant Ty Lee could make her feel._

_Azula sat by the vanity in the Earth King’s chambers, slowly taking down her hair. She slowly peeled away her makeup. If only I’d been a man. If only I could do what I want with Ty Lee in public. No man could ever oppose her, and she could force Ty Lee to marry her and her father could not say anything about it. She heard a knock at the door, but she didn’t feel like bothering. The knock persisted, and she continued to ignore it. The door slid open, and it was Ty Lee in her Kyoshi warrior uniform. She slid the door closed._

_“I didn’t say you could come in.” Ty Lee bounded over anyways._

_“I just wanted to see how you are. You took down Ba Sing Se and killed the Avatar! You must be really happy.” Ty Lee sat next to her friend. Azula should be very happy, but she wasn’t. She wouldn’t be happy until Ty Lee promised to stay with her forever. Not rejoin the circus, not go have babies with some man. Be hers forever. She could still feel the jealousy in the pit of her chest. She felt like she was a ticking time bomb, ready to explode if Ty Lee said the wrong thing._

_“I am happy. I’m overjoyed.” Azula kept her sarcastic demeanor. She looked at Ty Lee in the mirror. She tried not to show her emotions._

_“Did you see that watertribe boy today? He was looking good as usual.”_

_“Get out Ty Lee.”_

_“Did I make you jealous? I know you heard me Zula. Did it work?”_

_“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t get jealous.”_

_“Yes you do.”_

_“No I don’t.”_

_“Well then, I suppose you won’t mind if I go out and have sex with him, or his Kyoshi warrior friend then would you?” The image flashed through Azula’s head and her brow came together in anger. The candles in the room started to burn with more ferocity._

_“Do whatever you want Ty Lee.”_

_“Fine I will!” Ty Lee started to leave but Azula blocked her way._

_“You’re mine Ty Lee. Why the fuck do you do things to make me pissed off?” The Princess rarely ever swore. Ty Lee had gotten the result she had wanted._

_“Because it makes me sure that you don’t want to lose me.”_

_“Don’t be an idiot. You’ll stay with me until I tell you otherwise.”_

 

~

Azula had that dream, but then it started to become twisted. Ty Lee was laughing at her, having sex with every man in sight. Azula was screaming at her, screaming at her betrayal. She knew Ty Lee would betray her again someday. She had no doubt. She woke up with a start, and sat up. Ty Lee woke more slowly looking at Azula’s angered face.

“Azula are you okay? What did you dream about?” Azula looked at her with hawk-like eyes. She eyed her prey as she swooped on top of her. She pinned Ty Lee down, looking at her angrily. She couldn’t separate reality from her dreams, and she wondered if Ty Lee had actually done all the things she had seen. Ty Lee smirked up at her. She loved being dominated, and she was a masochist. She also felt very awake in the morning. She had only slept in Azula’s room to ward off any nightmares, but it was turning into something advantageous for her. Azula reached to the side table and grabbed one of Ty Lee’s hair ribbons, tying her wrists to the bedpost. Then suddenly Ty Lee thought of a game that she hadn’t ever thought she would get a chance to do.

“Are you going to punish me Princess?” Azula looked down at her with a confused look, but then had a devilish smirk.

“As a matter of fact I am. This is going to be a harsh punishment for you being a whore.” Ty Lee raised her brow, not sure if that had been what Azula’s dream had been about or not. Azula rarely dreamed about her. And she even more rarely shared them. Her lips were on Ty Lee’s in an instant, her hands feeling up and down Ty Lee’s curves. Ty Lee pressed herself upwards and Azula sharply groaned. Her nails were digging into Ty Lee, and she started biting her neck in a painful way. Ty Lee started to roll her hips into Azula’s, as though she were dancing. Azula started tearing at Ty Lee’s clothes, her nails digging into her. Her fingers were in Ty Lee in an instant and Ty Lee started moaning. Her eyes rolled back as Azula started to nip at her nipple, being rough. Azula was still blinded by her jealousy, but loved the way her lover moaned under her. She pumped in and out of Ty Lee furiously, and Ty Lee was in ecstasy. Ty Lee was getting so incredibly close when Azula stopped. She looked up at her with pleading eyes.

“Say it.”

“Say what.”

“Say my name.” Azula’s eyes, for an instant betrayed her inner thoughts. She wanted to make sure Ty Lee was thinking about her, and only her.

“Please Azula! I need you!” Azula untied Ty Lee and then flipped her over onto her back. She thrusted her fingers back inside her, pumping in and out of her. She didn’t know why, but she had the animalistic urge to smack Ty Lee. She was in complete control. Leaning over her she pulled Ty Lee’s braid so that her head was closer to her own.

“Do you like when I’m rough?”

“I love when you’re rough!” Ty Lee moaned. Azula dropped Ty Lee’s braid and slapped as hard as she could. She had never felt a nicer piece of skin in her life. She held it as she continued to thrust into Ty Lee. Ty Lee finally convulsed, and Azula pulled out of her. She got up and started to get dressed.

“Can we talk about it later?” Ty Lee whispered. Azula looked at her with a grin.

“Only if you’re good.”

 

~

_Ty Lee stormed around her room that she shared with a few of her sisters. They had all gone out for the night, but she was pacing around the room. Fire Lord Ozai had rejected more prospective husbands for Azula, but Ty Lee knew it was only a matter of time. Why didn’t she just tell him? Why didn’t she just admit to everyone that they were together? Well, it wasn’t exactly official. She had to watch everyday as boys at the academy next door tried to win over her Princess. Her Azula. She was the only one who understood Azula. She was the only one there for her no matter what._

_Hadn’t she sat there with her while she cried over her mother leaving? Hadn’t she been there for her when her cousin had died and she couldn’t admit to anyone else that she actually cared? Hadn’t she listened to Azula cry, saying that if she had never been so vile, had never said that about her Uncle and Lu Ten, that her cousin would still be alive? That her grandfather would still be alive, and her mother would still be there with her? Hadn’t she held her while she whispered that now that her father had become Fire Lord, he never had time for her? She had been there when Zuko had been banished. At first the young Princess had been excited. But then she had become lonely, and sad. Hadn’t Ty Lee done all of those things?_

_Didn’t Ty Lee stay for her? Didn’t she stay with a family she hated, in a place she hated, for her? She had stayed in the academy so that she wouldn’t feel so alone. She had stayed with all of her identical sisters to please Azula. She dealt with all the bullies who found her when she was alone, who called her a woman lover. She dealt with all the bullies who were there when Azula was there. She watched Azula fight them all. She watched Azula get into trouble, and just as quickly get out of it. She dealt with Azula manipulating her._

_And for what? To be hidden like she didn’t even matter? To be teased by others and ignored by her? She was not acknowledged in public as her friends love interest. She had to sit and watch as they tried to find someone worthy of Azula’s genes. But she thought that she should be allowed to make a decision for love. But they weren’t going to listen to her, the seventh daughter of a nobleman. She could just be thrown away. She didn’t even think she would be missed by the Princess herself. She didn’t run away, she didn’t try something else, just because she loved Azula. She was going to watch the girl she loved be married to another. She would be the secret lover. She would be the other woman. But she should be the only woman. That man would be taking what was hers. She knew that she wouldn’t be able to convince Azula not to marry. She would have to produce an heir if she were to become Fire Lord. And that was the only thing Ty Lee couldn’t give her._

_“Ty Lee help me up. I’m not tall enough for this.” Ty Lee looked over at her window to see Azula trying to get in. She helped lift the Princess in, who proceeded to brush herself off._

_“I told you I wanted to see you today.” The thirteen year old did not look even slightly amused with her. Ty Lee looked away. She didn’t want to sit through Ozai looking at prospects again. She just couldn’t handle it._

_“I know. I just....just.”_

_“Just what Ty Lee?” Ty Lee looked into her eyes and tried not to cry. She saw her Azula’s eyebrows creep together in concern, her eyes become alight with worry._

_“I just couldn’t sit through him trying to give you to someone else.” Azula took Ty Lee’s chin in her fingertips, making her look at her._

_“I don’t want anyone else. I won’t ever give in. I’ll always find something wrong with them all. And that’s because they won’t ever be you.” Ty Lee started to cry and Azula took her into her arms._

_“I-i just want to be somewhere we can be free,” she whispered._

_“Maybe someday we can be.” Azula stroked her hair._

_“You’re mine. No matter who you marry I don’t care if I have to poison them.”_

_“Not if I poison them first.” Ty Lee hiccupped as she giggled._

_“Never give up without a fight. Right Azula?”_

_“That’s right Ty Lee. We’re never going to give up. Not until we’re together and I’m Fire Lord. Then we can rule the world together.”_

_“Can I still wear pink?”_

_“Of course you can still wear pink silly.”_


	12. Chapter 12

_Ty Lee wasn’t one to hate. Not normally. She just resented. She resented a lot of people. She mostly resented her parents and her sisters. She felt as though she always had to act out in order to get attention. The only thing that made her parents vaguely remembered her was that every week she was invited to spend the afternoon with the Princess Azula, Prince Zuko and Mai. They told her how proud of her they were that she had become friends with royalty. She mostly liked Azula because she had no problem remembering her name. But Azula had never been near her with her sisters. No one knew who she was around them, not even Mai._

_Ty Lee sat with her sisters outside of the Royal Fire Academy for Girls. She looked down at the uniform with disdain as she waited for the classes to start. She knew that her only friend other than Mai wouldn’t be able to tell her apart either. They were all identical, which vexed her more than anything. She knew she would never have a real friend. Ty Lee, part of a matched set. Look at all of the sisters that look the same! Aren’t they adorable? Ty Lee kept her eyes glued to the ground. She just wanted to go home and it was only her first day._

_“Ty Lee what are you doing? Get over here now.” Ty Lee looked over to Azula but didn’t go forward. She didn’t want to be just the one she called for. Anyone of her sisters would do. It didn’t have to be her._

_“Ty Lee I’m talking to you!” Azula pushed Ty Lee down to the ground. She blinked up at her a few times. She.... she knew?_

_“Why are you such an airhead Ty Lee? I was talking to you. Don’t ignore me.” Ty Lee jumped up and hugged Azula in front of everyone. Azula tried her best not to hug back. The seven year old was very confused. She had rarely been hugged before, but she kind of liked it. It wasn’t like when her sister hugged her._

_“What was that for?” Ty Lee grinned at her, and grabbed her hand._

_“You knew which one I was.”_

_“Of course dum-dum. You don’t look that much like the others.”_

 

~

Ty Lee woke up with a smile on her face. She rarely dreamt of her childhood. She thought about that day at the academy all the time, but she didn’t dream all that often. She saw Azula sleeping peacefully next to her. Her hair cascaded down her back and fanned out on her pillow. Azula always slept on her back, and Ty Lee figured it was so no one could sneak up on her. She pulled the blanket over to Azula. Ty Lee normally won the blanket fight they had in the middle of the night. She tiptoed out of the room to do what she always did, make Azula her cup of coffee. And she always had to scamper off to the restroom in the morning.

“You are so dedicated. I have never seen anyone want to make my neice as happy as you do everyday just by getting up to make her some coffee,” Iroh said.

“Well I get to do something I really love all day and she has to do something she hates. It’s the least I can do.”

“Ty Lee you don’t owe her anything.”

“Yes. Yes I do owe her. But it’s more than that. Whenever I hand her that cup she gives the tiniest glimpse that she’s happy and that she appreciates it. And that’s all I need to get through the day!” Ty Lee stirred the sugar into the cup faithfully. She walked back to the room and saw Azula sitting up, on time as usual.

“Good morning Azula!” She handed her the cup and got the same flicker of happiness she longed for every morning. Ty Lee started to walk out of the room.

“Ty Lee?”

“Yes Azula?”

“We can talk about what happened the other day tonight. If you want.” Azula looked down into her cup like normal with a small smile on her face.

“Sure Azula! We can after dinner if you want!” She nodded as Ty Lee walked out of the room happily. She skipped into her room to change into her pink outfit, and once again she feared being late. She hated the long train ride. She hated that she had to walk home sometimes because she missed the last one every now and then. She braided her hair quickly, and then hurriedly pushed her shoes on. On her way out she stuffed a bun in her mouth, waving goodbye to Azula as she sat by the table and then skipped out the door to make the train.

She didn’t mind all the rushing around. She hated to admit it, but she missed chasing the Avatar with Azula and Mai. At least back then it had been interesting. She would take turns in the tank train as they were traveling, spending one night in Azula’s room and another in Mai’s. She shared with Mai anyways, but she liked her Azula time. She had almost forgotten how much she missed it while she was in the circus. She thought about Azula everyday of course, but only when the lights went out. Sometimes the noises of the animals were comforting. Sometimes she heard Azula’s voice in her head telling them all to keep it down or she would do unspeakable things to them. She had mostly missed Azula with the Kyoshi warriors but she had also missed all of the adventures. All of the excitement. And Suki had been wonderful, but she just wasn’t right. She just wasn’t Azula.

As Ty Lee stretched outside of the tent she couldn’t help but remembering Azula approach her, asking her to join her search. She had secretly wanted to just say yes. But she never gave up anything without a fight. She knew Azula always got what she wanted. She wasn’t that foolish. But she liked being a tease. She loved getting attention, especially from the Fire Nation Princess. That’s why she had said she was so happy in the circus. She had been happy in the circus, but not perfectly happy. Her aura had been pink, but it was a grayed shade of pink. It was only at its brightest whenever Azula was around. She didn’t have as much adventure as she wanted, but the circus and Azula made her almost completely content. If Azula could be perfectly happy, then she would finally be perfectly happy herself.

Ty Lee practiced a routine day after day. But it gave her far too much time for thinking. She had wondered if Azula would have lost her control if she had just stayed. She wondered why Azula had been so angry the last time she had touched her. She wondered if Azula really ever cared about her or if she was just manipulating her like everyone else. She wondered if Azula had really liked Chan, but she had just been the next best thing. If she had just been something to be conquered, and now that she had been, she would get rid of her. But Ty Lee always liked to think positively. If nothing else, Azula never threw things away. Unless she thought they were completely useless, but even then she would still use them to her advantage. But she wasn’t in the same position she had been. She didn’t have to worry about the constant pressures of someday being Fire Lord. And being the first female one at that.

Ty Lee didn’t know why she only thought about Azula. Sometimes she wondered how Mai and Zuko were doing, or how the Kyoshi warriors were faring. But most of the time she worried about Azula. She wondered if she’d ever get “better”. Ty Lee didn’t think there was anything wrong with her. Not really. She had just had to be strong for fourteen years too long. She had been pressured too much, carried too much burden. And she had been taught that fear was the only way to keep people, when love was really the ultimate way. And Ty Lee was going to show Azula just that.

After practicing with the animals, and other performers all day, Ty Lee caught the train home. She sat next to people who all looked at her. She knew she should be use to it. Many people thought she was beautiful. She had often been told she could have anyone she really wanted. Many men had tried over the years. But she had only ever had eyes for Azula. She knew she was beautiful and could have many attractive people surrounding her. But no one was more beautiful than the Princess. Not to her. Especially when she took her hair down and when she smiled. When she laughed or when she raised her eyebrow whenever she was intrigued. No one could even hold a candle to her.

Ty Lee stepped out of the train and started walking. It was a short walk but she felt tired. She knew she would have to pretend to be her normal perky self when she got home. She didn’t want Azula to worry. She was incredibly tired from many nights where she was startled into waking. Sometimes it was screaming, but most of the time since the drugs had been weaned it was crying. Light, soft crying. And she would hold her until she stopped. But it was wearing on her. Not only did she worry about her at night, but she thought about her all day. Her mind was slowly being drained. But Azula needed her and she wasn’t going to leave a second time. Well, third time.

She walked into the tea shop like normal at four. She waited a couple minutes and Azula sat down with her, like normal. Iroh brought them both tea and Ty Lee thanked him. Like she always did. Whenever Ty Lee saw Azula smile at her she knew everything was worth it. All the long nights, all of the pain that had been. All of the pain that was still there. She knew that there was no where else she would rather be. But throughout her life, it had always been the only place she wanted to be.

 

~

_Ty Lee waited under the tree like normal. Azula and Mai always took a long time getting food, because Azula always had some specially made. And this year was her little sister’s first year at the academy, so she followed around Azula like a lost puppy. She sat patiently, because Azula always made her sit there, just in case someone tried to take their spot in the shade. They didn’t ever try because they were all so afraid of the older Princess. But Ty Lee did as she was told, just like she always did._

_“Hey, where’s your little girlfriend?” A few girls were standing over her. The instigator was the daughter of the Fire Lord’s head general. Ty Lee had noticed that she thought she could do whatever she wanted because of that reason. She never bothered Ty Lee when Azula was around. But as soon as the Princess wasn’t around all she did was bully Ty Lee. Ty Lee secretly thought about how she was actually in a higher position, being the daughter of a nobleman and the best friend of the Princess. But she always kept it to herself._

_“Hey I’m talking to you!”_

_“I don’t have a girlfriend,” Ty Lee said calmly._

_“Yeah you do. We’ve all seen you holding hands. You know what this country does to women lovers like you two right?”_

_“What do they do? Do tell us won’t you?” Azula’s voice was annoyed. The nine year old stepped closer to Ty Lee, with her little sister clutching onto her uniform. Mai didn’t look amused. She almost looked angry, which was a rare occurrence. The few girls behind the leader backed away slightly._

_“Well they put you in the boiling rock for life of course. And it would be a shame if the Princess of the Fire Nation was left to rot in a cell for something like that.”_

_“You assume because we hold hands that we kiss. I hold my sister’s hand and we don’t. You hold your mothers hand. That would make you a woman lover too. So get lost before I lose my temper.” Most of the girls ran and the leader hesitantly backed away. When they were gone Azula sat and handed Ty Lee her food._

_“You shouldn’t let them bother you like that. If they do it again I might have to give them a firebending demonstration.”_

_“Yeah just tell me or Azula. Those girls are the worst kind of girls,” Mai said before biting into her food. Ty Lee smiled a little._

_“Well I can’t really argue with them. I don’t really have anything that I could think of. I like holding your hand Azula. And if that makes me a woman lover, then so be it!”_

_“Ty Lee don’t say those kind of things,” Azula said quietly, trying to hide her blushing._

 

~

“So normally someone would start out this kind of thing with an apology. But the thing is Ty Lee, I’m not sorry.” Azula stared at the ground as they both sat on the bed.

“I didn’t think you would be. I just want to know why. I mean, I enjoyed it don’t get me wrong. I just want to know why you were so upset Zula.” She looked at Azula with her normal smile.

“Do you remember when you were trying to make me jealous at Ba Sing Se?”

“Yeah. And it worked too, even though you tried to pretend it didn’t,” Ty Lee laughed.

“I dreamed about that. But the end got distorted. I saw you actually having sex with that boy. And lots of other boys. And that’s why I was so angry.”

“Zula that’s just dumb. Like I would ever let someone other than you touch me. Once you’ve had someone perfect you’re not just going to step down.” Azula looked at Ty Lee and smiled a bit.

“And Azula I know you think I’m going to leave again or whatever but I’m really not. When I’m not with you my aura gets all dark and it’s really bad for my skin.”

“Only you would know how to take something somewhat meaningful and then turn it into being about your skin,” Azula chuckled.

“Well I’m being serious! I’m a mess without you. But there is one thing that has to be taken care of you know.” Azula raised her eyebrow.

“Oh?”

“I have to return the favor.” Ty Lee pushed the Princess down onto her back and straddled her.


	13. Chapter 13

_Azula walked down the hall with her younger sister after a fairly normal war meeting. They were on their way to get a pedicure, per usual. It was a sort of tradition the two girls had, because while Azula enjoyed the meetings immensely, she knew that her younger sibling did not. She wasn't sure if it was because they reminded her of their brother too much, or if it was because she was such a peaceful being that the talk of war truly bothered her. But for whatever the reason, Azula had implemented them bonding together over foot hygiene._

_Maddie hadn't said anything since the war meeting. They sat down and Azula looked at her sister with curiosity. Maddie was always relatively talkative, especially whenever her sister was within ten feet of her. She never hid what she thought from her sister. She just stared pensively at the wall, in deep thought. Azula couldn't make sense of it. War meetings were never something that Maddie concerned herself too much with. To her, they just all sounded the same._

_"Maddie, is there something bothering you?" Maddie looked over as though she had been startled from a deep trance._

_"I know I'm not as experienced as you are with the whole war general thing, but that man just gave me a bad feeling. I know it might sound silly but I just get a bad feeling from Admiral Zhao. He just…. I don't know something seemed so off about him. I'm not questioning Papa's decisions or anything but I just get the feeling that he is going to really botch the siege at the Northern Water Tribe." Azula looked over at her sister. She had never seemed interested in the war, nor strategizing. But the fact that her sister had picked up on something that would seem of little importance to most caught her attention. Azula knew that Maddie's instincts were never wrong. Not since they had been small children._

_"Well if you feel that way I think you should tell Dad. I mean, you won't be disrespecting him like Zuko did because it's not like it's in a war meeting or anything. You'll just be voicing your concerns to him, and he can't find any fault with that."_

_"Would you go with me? I don't normally talk to him about war things."_

_"If you really want me to we can go after this. I don't think he has any more meetings planned for the day."_

_"Thank you Azula, you're the best!"_

_"Well your instincts have never been wrong before."_

 

_Both girls kneeled before Fire Lord Ozai, waiting to be spoken to. Azula looked at her nervous little sister. She didn't know how to tell her it was going to be okay, that she wouldn't be banished like Zuko. Azula would fight for her sister, unlike her useless brother._

_"Papa, I would like to talk to you about something I'm worried about if you aren't busy." Ozai smiled down at his youngest child._

_"I'm never too busy for my daughters. Come up here my dear." Maddie hopped up to the throne and sat on her father's knee like normal. Anyone who though Azula was the favorite child was sadly mistaken. Maddie had been doted on by everyone. Even Azula couldn't help but have a soft spot for those green eyes that showed every single flicker of emotion._

_"Papa, I didn't say anything during the war meeting because I didn't want to disrespect anyone. But Admiral Zhao makes me feel worried about the siege of the North Pole. I have a feeling that his hotheaded ways, which have been demonstrated many times, will lose us this battle. I know I'm not a master strategist, but I know what my gut tells me."_

_"Such a wise little child. Always holding in her inner thoughts out of respect. Next time do not hesitate to speak up. If you are worried about commanding officers, then I should be as well."_

_"Papa, Azula is so useful to you. I would like to be useful to you as well. May I go to the North Pole? I just want to see if my suspicions are true. I won't interfere unless necessary." The Fire Lord looked at his youngest child pensively. She was the only child he was more than hesitant about letting go. Azula was his chosen heir but Maddie was his favorite. He clung to her because she was so much like her mother. That's why he had never minded that she wasn't interested in the war._

_"You know I hate to deny you anything. And as long as you are merely observing, I can see no harm in it. Kai must accompany you however. He has served well as you body guard, and he has mastered airbending."_

_"Thank you Papa!" Maddie grasped onto her father tightly before hopping off to walk out with her sister. All Maddie had to do was bat those beautiful lashes and the Fire Lord did whatever she wanted._

_"Hey I got you something." Azula stepped into her sister's room a bit. She would be leaving in a few days to accompany Admiral Zhao to the North Pole, along with Kai. Her sister looked at her excitedly._

_"Well close you eyes dum-dum." Maddie put her hands over her eyes and Azula smirked. She couldn't wait for the reaction she was about to get. She slowly placed it on the bed._

_"Alright open." Maddie's face lit with delight as she ran towards her present. On the bed Azula had placed some specially designed armor that looked almost identical to her own. It was just smaller, as Maddie was a bit shorter and a tad skinnier, as she hadn't grown into a woman yet. Azula was only beginning to, but the signs were showing everyday. Maddie ran over and embraced her sister in excitement._

_"Oh Azula really?"_

_"Well I grew out of it already," she lied. She had to rush order it to make it happen in time. Maddie didn't know how far her sister was really willing to go for her. She had tried to convince their father to allow her to go with her, but he had said it was out of the question. And Iroh was going to be there as well so she felt a bit better about her sister going off alone. A bit, but not much._

_"It's perfect Azula! I'm going to make you proud I promise!" Azula hated to watch her little sister go. Her sister waved excitedly from the ship as she sailed away. Azula sighed. Everyone left her eventually. She knew Maddie would be back, but it still pained her. First her cousin, then her mother and grandfather. Zuko. Then Ty Lee, followed by Mai soon after. And now her sister. She would be alone with her demons. She would cope. Maddie would always come back. She always did._

 

~

Azula woke up to see brown hair in her face. At first she thought it was Ty Lee but then she remembered where she was. The sheets were softer, and she could smell a distinct smell of cinnamon. She smiled down at the younger girl who was curled up next to her. Azula must have gotten up in her sleep and crawled into bed with her. She wasn't normally a sleep walker. But it was always habit to find Maddie while she was half awake through all the corridors of a palace. She just didn't know how she did it in this palace. The younger girl looked completely content cradled next to her. She had a small smile on her face, her normally worried face smoothed into comfort. Azula slowly put her hand in the girl's hair. She rarely got sweet moments with her sister, and she cherished them. Though she would never say it out loud.

"Higher! Kick Higher!" Azula yelled at her sister as she instructed her firebending. She watched her sister, her normal commanding demeanor back.

"Have you not practiced in the two years I was gone? Higher I said!" Azula sent a swift kick of flames at her sister which she narrowly dodged.

"You are a firebender! You must be agile, nimble! It's not just a bunch of kicks it's an art! If I had been aiming to kill you just now you would have been burnt like your lazy brother! Let me see it again!" Maddie kicked higher at her sister and Azula nodded in approval.

"Now lightning. As though you were going to strike through someone you hate." Maddie quickly took her stance and shot lightning through her fingertips. Azula smiled as she looked at her sister. Not a hair out of place.

"Well at least we know you're good at lightning." Maddie smiled, a tiny bead of sweat running down her forehead. She stood and looked over at Kai. He was walking over to them with his mother close behind. She was carrying drinks for them.

"Alright my little firebenders. It's time for a drink break. Watermelon juice for my two beautiful young ladies." Azula smiled, but waited for her sister to do what she knew she had to. Maddie quickly bowed to Azula and then ran over to the drinks. Azula slowly walked over.

"I can't wait to see you two spar," Kai smiled.

"You're going to be next Kai. We haven't sparred in a long time. And it's always more interesting to fight someone who doesn't bend the same element as you."

"You taught me everything I know though. So it doesn't really work."

"Well if you get bored with these two Azula you can always fight me. I haven't been allowed to earthbend in awhile, but I'm sure if you give me a few minutes to warm up next time I'll be at least amusing for you." Azula smiled at her.

"Well I did find the Dai Lee entertaining. And that little blind girl was always a challenge. We should next time."

 

~

_"They keep trying to give names for what's wrong with her. Every doctor that goes in there says something different. Antisocial Personality Disorder, sociopath, psychosis, depression, sadism, that she has childhood abandonment issues. I don't know what to think anymore. I don't think there is anything wrong with her," Maddie whispered to the girl who was laying next to her in her massive bed. Tears were streaming down her face and she tried to wipe them away. Nothing could express what she felt._

_"There isn't anything wrong with her. We just have to hope they find a doctor who understands her," Ty Lee said softly. She was crying too. She blamed herself more than anyone. If only she had been there for her. If only she had stayed._

_"Zuko says they're going to stop looking for doctor's soon. That they've tried every respectable doctor they could think of."_

_"It's part of her mind not her body. Can't they find some kind of Guru, or some kind of spiritual expert? It has nothing to do with her physical state. She's always been in perfect health."_

_"They can't find anyone willing to talk to her. I've been trying Ty Lee. How much harder can I try?! They are completely unwilling to help her. Zuko and Mai just want her to rot in a cell for the rest of her life. But I can't live with myself if that's what happens. I can't live in a world where my sister is treated like that, where I can't even see her!' Her crying got louder and Ty Lee embraced her. Ty Lee didn't know how to comfort her. She didn't know what to say. She had always thought that Maddie would side with Zuko in the end, that she was just afraid like Mai was. But she wasn't. She genuinely loved her older sister. More than most people love their sister._

_"We're going to find a way. She's going to get better. Okay? Never give up without a fight. That's what Azula would always say to me."_

_"I just can't lose her. I already lost my father. I know that Zuko was close to our mother, but I didn't have enough time to remember her. I can't hear her voice. I only know what she looks like because of pictures. Whenever I try to picture her, the only face I can see is Azula's. She took care of me. She made sure that I would be okay. She slept with me when I had nightmares. She would read me bedtime stories and put silly endings so I would laugh. She was the one who believed I could do anything. She was the one who taught me firebending. She was more than just my sister. She was my friend, and my mother. And sometimes I feel like I put too much pressure on her. I feel like if we hadn't bonded she wouldn't have felt the need to take the mother role too. And maybe, she wouldn't be this way."_

_"You're not to blame. I'm more to blame than you are. But if anyone is really to blame it's your parents and the way they treated her. Zuko could have easily been her. Her doesn't want to admit it, but it's true. She will pull through, because she always does. She's perfect, and she'll come out of this stronger."_

_"I hope so. I love her so much."_

 

~

"You know if you actually practiced your firebending would be a close rival to my own. That is, if you practiced."

"I'll keep that in mind. It's not my fault that I'm not as dedicated as the most powerful firebender of all time." Maddie smiled up at her sister. She was glad they had called it quits for the day. She was very tired, and needed to rest. Her sister was right about the practice of course. But her motivation to practice was her sister. She loved firebending because it reminded her of her sister. But that had been the reason she hadn't practiced while her sister had been in prison. She didn't have the right to firebend while her sister couldn't. It had been Azula's passion. She had tried once while Azula was imprisoned but she had broken down crying. Zuko had tried to comfort her, but she had just blown up at him. She had told him it was his fault. That he had taken her sister from her. That she should be allowed to see her. Her firebending had been at it's max as she had created a large wall of fire between them. But it evaporated as she started crying harder.

"Zula?"

"What?" Maddie looked up from the piece of paper she was reading.

"Zuko wants you to see another doctor. If I pick someone for you to talk to, will you go?" Azula looked at her sister up and down.

"I thought you said you didn't think there was anything wrong with me?"

"I don't. But we have to convince Zuko remember?" Azula smirked at her younger sister.

"I suppose I don't have much of a choice. Just please pick someone who isn't completely horrible. You know how easily I can scare people away."   

 


	14. Chapter 14

_“Your father has requested an audience with Fire Lord Azulon. Best clothes, hurry up!”_

_“Fire Lord Azulon... Can’t you just call him ‘Grandfather’? He’s not exactly the powerful Fire Lord he used to be. Someone will probably end up taking his place soon.”_

_“Young lady! Not another word! What is wrong with that child?”_

 

~

Wrong? Did there have to be something wrong with her? What about the rest of the world? Her mother was a traitorous wench. Her brother was a coward. Mai was a dumb, lovesick puppy. Ty Lee would follow whoever called. Maddie worshipped a monster. The Avatar had been dumb enough to let her and her father live. Why was there always something wrong with her? Most people called her a prodigy. To her face. But she heard the whispers. She saw the stares. She had since she had been a child. The way people looked at her when they asked about her mother. How they all stared at her. She wasn’t crazy. She didn’t have a problem. If everyone would just leave her well enough alone she could move on with everything. Most of the time she just wanted to be left well enough alone. Sometimes even her sister became too much for her. Sometimes she thought about just running away. Her father knew what to do. Her father could give her the answers. She should just reclaim what was hers.

Why did everyone look at her like she had something wrong with her? Didn’t they know who she was? What blood ran through her veins? Didn’t they know she was better than the commoners? That they should all bow before her? That she was a Princess who got everything she wanted. Except one thing. Her. She needed to stop thinking about her. She had gotten what she wanted. Why did she want.... why did she want more? Why couldn’t she get that silly girl with the braid out of her mind? Why did everything have to be so confusing?

Azula used to think that the world was black and white. You were either evil or good. You were either a prodigy or a dumdum. You were either perfect or not. You were a monster or you weren’t. But for whatever the reason, the lines of right and wrong were starting to blur to her. She knew she was a monster. Her own mother had said so at one point. She was a prodigy. Her father had said so. She was perfect. Ty Lee had said so. All the lines blurred in her mind, and no matter how she tried she couldn’t figure out who she was. If she should be imprisoned or not. If she should even be alive. She had thought of suicide often enough in prison. If she had melted the mask to her face she would have suffocated before anyone could do anything. But something always stopped her.

Cynical, narcissitic. Beautiful, intelligent. Ruler, tea server. Sometimes she thought she must be insane, just like they said she was. She couldn’t remember the first couple months of her captivity. She didn’t know if it was because of the drugs or because she was mad. She didn’t know if there really was something wrong with her or not. Was she okay? Was it wrong to use people for all they were worth? Fear was the only way. It had to be.

Azula sat in the room waiting for whatever unfortunate doctor would come through the door. She had all her swirling thoughts, very few of them making sense. None of them seemed right to her. But yet some of them fit. She was always so confused. She didn’t know what to make of her own sanity or lack thereof. She didn’t know what she could say to another one of those people who thought. She knew she was going to try to get them away from her. Just like she had with all the others.

Azula was startled to see a face she knew. The young pair of gray eyes were unmistakable. The blond girl sat across from her with the bald child next to her. Azula raised her eyebrow at the surprising change of events. Of all the people who would try to rehabilitate her, these were the last two she would have ever expected. The two airbenders looked at each other nervously but the girl smiled.

“Hello again Princess Azula.”

“Hello Elyon. Avatar.” Aang looked at the Princess with hesitation. Both young people truly believed there was good in her. Just like Zuko had good in him. They would just have to find it. Elyon was just as versed in the human mind as she was with spiritual connections and the teachings of the monks and nuns of the airbender temples. She hoped to find out the things that had caused Azula to lose her mind, and what had caused her to use people all of her life. From what she had gathered from Zuko, Azula had been born into using people. But evil was not born, it was created. Both of them were sure of that.

“So my darling sister thought that sending the Avatar to the most feared person to ever get out of prison was a good idea? Especially when the colonies are talking about a rebellion, mainly focusing on me.”

“They don’t know you’re out of prison. As far as anyone knows, you’re still in prison,” Aang said firmly. He still had his apprehensions about working with Azula. He was the Avatar, not a therapist. But all Zuko had tried were medical doctors. And no drugs had seemed to work. Not that anyone had really expected them to.

“We’re here to try something different Azula. I assume you don’t know much about the air nomads do you?”

“Only that my great-grandfather Sozin massacred them.” Aang tried to control his anger, the way she said it as though it didn’t matter at all.

“Well, you’re going to learn. We are going to try a few different things.”

“I don’t see why everyone is so focused on me. I’m not the only crazy one in the world.”

 

~

_Ty Lee shook in her sleep. She shook when she was awake. Was it all real or was it fake? Was it a dream or was it reality? It didn’t seem possible. She didn’t know the difference. Her world was crumbling around her. Was she crazy? She felt like she had hallucinations. She thought there were times when Azula came to the cell. But she didn’t. She would scream with joy, run up to the cell, and then feel nothing as she reached between the bars. And then she would cry. When she was in the prison yard she tried to not let her sanity slipping in front of Mai or the Kyoshi warriors. Not that it would matter, their cells were all near hers. She tried not to let anything about her relationship with Azula shine through but she didn’t know what she said in the middle of the night._

_Mai worried about her. They all did. During the day she was her normal, cheerful self saying that she and the Kyoshi warriors would now be best friends forever. She laughed and showed her tricks to the other prisoners. But when the lights went out, all she did was sob. Sometimes she screamed in her sleep. But most of the time she barely slept. She thought she kept seeing her. She kept hearing her in her head. Telling her what a horrible traitor she was. Tease tease tease tease tease. No one cares about you, Ty Lee. No one cares what you do. You’ll die alone. I never want to see your face again. All of the dripping noises made her think too hard. Drip drip drip drip. She felt like she was going insane. Maybe she already was._

_Ty Lee rocked back and forth in her cell. She tried not to think about it. She tried not to think about her. She kept rubbing her fingers. She endlessly rubbed them. She had to make the feeling go away. She had to make the cold metal feeling go away. Her fingers were red, almost bleeding. She kept rubbing until they did. She broke down, laying down in her cell._

_You’re pathetic Ty Lee. You disgust me. Sit up._

_“It’s not really you! I just keep imagining you! What do you want? I’m sorry! I’m so sorry....” Her crying continued as she reached for the bars. You will suffer Ty Lee. You will suffer for what you did to me._

_“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I love you...” No you don’t, “I do! I love you. Please forgive me..” She erupted into sobs. She curled into herself. She just kept repeating the same thing. That she was sorry. That she begged for forgiveness. That she loved her. That she just wanted it to be like it was._

_“Ty Lee, we’re really worried about you,” Mai looked at her friend. Her eyes were sunken and swollen. She was trying her best to hide her hands. But they knew._

_“Let me help you,” Suki reached over and started wrapping them up. Ty Lee clenched her eyes in pain._

_“I’m fine. Really. I’m fine.” They both looked at her skeptically. Her smile didn’t betray her inner thoughts. She didn’t reveal herself._

  
  


_“You’re really pathetic Ty Lee.” Azula stood in front of Ty Lee’s cell. She hadn’t been to visit. But Mai had begged her sister to tell Azula that Ty Lee wanted to see her. She had put it off. She didn’t want to see the face of her betrayer. Her lover. Her friend. She didn’t want to try and handle it. But looking at her ex-love she didn’t feel as though she was looking at her traitor. She was looking at six year old Ty Lee who begged her to come back. She kept her emotions at bay while she looked at her. She tried to keep herself under control._

_“I know you’re not real. You’ve been here every night and every time I reach out it isn’t you.” Azula looked at her with her brow raised._

_“Fine have it your way. Have fun rotting in your cell.” Ty Lee grabbed her clothing._

_“It’s you. It’s really you this time,” she whispered._

_“Of course dumdum. This is your final goodbye. Say whatever you need to say.”_

_“I’m sorry! I’m so so sorry! Please forgive me! I love you.”_

_“No you don’t. If you did, you wouldn’t have picked her over me.”_

_“I didn’t!”_

_“You did. I bet you were fucking her behind my back too,” she whispered._

_“Azula I would never-”_

_“You make me sick. Goodbye Ty Lee.” And Ty Lee was left to deal with her own madness. Had it been real? Or had she imagined her again?_

 

~

“Why is she like that?!” Aang shouted. He had stormed out of the room, leaving Elyon with her. Azula smirked as she listened to the conversation. Even the Avatar couldn’t handle her. Although she had already known. But the girl still remained. She was determined. Azula couldn’t tell why. They were alone in the room with Azula just staring at her.

“I’m not going to give up you know. You think you have a will of steel, but in the end you’ll just sway like the air you bend.” Elyon smiled at her.

“You know, Toph told me to stay away from you. She told me this was a bad idea, that you were probably a lost cause. But I see something in you. And you’re so funny. It’s really funny to see Aang all worked up like that.”

“So I’m just supposed to vent to you or something?”

“Pretty much. I get paid either way.”

“I think I like you.”


	15. Chapter 15

_“Azula!! Azula guess what?!” Ty Lee jumped up and down excitedly near the other girl’s desk. Azula pretended to not notice her at first, just hoping she would calm down on her own. But she didn’t. She just kept jumping excitedly._

_“I don’t feel like playing guessing games today Ty Lee.”_

_“Well you’ll never guess anyways! But try!”_

_“Just tell me Ty Lee.”_

_“THE CIRCUS IS GOING TO BE IN TOWN!!!” Ty Lee squealed excitedly. All the other girls were looking at them and Azula felt herself becoming annoyed._

_“Why on earth would I care about the circus?” Ty Lee’s face became a bit disappointed._

_“Well you always say we never go and do anything fun so I just thought-”_

_“You thought that I’d enjoy watching a bunch of weirdos perform? Or that I’d like to see a bunch of animals do tricks? Why would I like to see them do tricks when you do tricks for me?”_

_“You’re right Azula. I’m sorry.” Ty Lee sat down, looking disappointed. Azula felt a little guilty but kept it to herself. But the way the girls shoulders slumped made her feel sorry for what she had said. She truly didn’t mind the circus. How could she know, having never been to one? Her father wouldn’t let her go the only time she had asked if she could go with Ty Lee. She wondered how she always got herself into these predicaments. She always ended up having to apologize, even though she did it without words._

_“Ty Lee, Mai. You should both come over tonight. It’ll be fun.” Azula leaned up against their lunchtime tree. Ty Lee sat next to Mai and they both looked at each other._

_“Well it’s not like there’s anything better for me to do at home.”_

_“Sure Azula. It’ll be fun to have a sleepover.” Ty Lee smiled up at her._

_“Perfect. I’ll expect you there early Ty Lee. No silly excuses from your parents either. I do hate to be kept waiting.” Azula and Mai grabbed their things and started walking away._

_“Did you get them?”_

_“Yeah I did. She’s going to be really confused Azula.” Mai smiled a bit and Azula’s smirk was obvious._

 

_Ty Lee was confused to see everyone just standing around when she got to Azula’s room. They normally would be sitting. Azula would be getting her nails painted and Mai would be gossiping about generals or other nobleman daughters with her. But they were just standing around, not talking. Ty Lee looked very confused. If they were giving her an annoying intervention about her pinkness she was going to be extremely angry._

_“I told you not to be late.”_

_“Sorry I-”_

_“We’re leaving come on.” Azula pushed her way through the door, with Mai behind her. Ty Lee scurried to catch up as they started to walk towards the nearest exit._

_“Oh Mai I almost forgot. Blindfold her.” Mai snuck up behind Ty Lee and covered her eyes._

_“Hey what are you guys doing?!”_

_“You’ll see. Just hang onto me would you?” Mai said blandly. Ty Lee did as she was told but she had no idea what they could be doing. It wasn’t her birthday, or a holiday. She must be in trouble. Azula must be mad at her for some reason. She couldn’t think of anything she had done. Had a boy flirted with her that she couldn’t remember? Had she forgotten to do something Azula had told her to do earlier? Were they going to play some kind of joke on her? Mai and Azula had a similar dark sense of humor, the main reason why they were friends. Ty Lee started to get nervous._

_“Alright sit down.” Azula pushed her down and then untied her blindfold._

_“OH AZULA REALLY?!” she squealed. She looked down into the circus ring. They were in the best seats as everyone had just started to come in. She clung to her friend in delight as she waited for the show to start. Azula smiled. Even if the show was terrible, she had gotten what she wanted._

 

~

Azula stood outside the tent hesitantly. She didn’t know why she was hesitating. She had to convince her sister into letting her sneak out instead of going straight back to her uncle’s. She had to manipulate her uncle into allowing her to pick Ty Lee up. Not that the old man minded. He didn’t like Ty Lee walking home late at night after her shows without someone. She was a pretty girl after all, and everywhere in the world there were creeps lurking around. Azula hadn’t liked how he said that. It made her start to worry about Ty Lee going home everyday. People just couldn’t ignore someone as pretty as Ty Lee. It was just impossible.

Azula took a peek into the main tent, waiting for the show to end. She saw Ty Lee up on the tightrope. She smiled. She remembered how agile and nimble she was. She was always so much more flexible and quick than Azula was. She couldn’t help but admire her from afar. It was more fun to watch her when she didn’t look petrified of falling into a burning net. She was even smiling, something that was common. But she looked almost perfectly happy. And Azula sometimes wondered why she had ever taken her away from that life in the first place. If she had just let her be, she never would have betrayed her. And then Ty Lee would have come running to her after Mai’s betrayal. And everything would have been wonderful.

She looked at all of the people applauding Ty Lee as she came down from the rope and bowed. Azula then made her way to Ty Lee’s dressing room. She leaned against the wall near the  mirror. She thought she should have brought some flowers to make it like old times, but she didn’t have any money yet. Her uncle was very specific about payday, which vexed her a little bit. Not that she was one for being nostalgic, and she wasn’t one for wooing either. But she liked to make Ty Lee smile every now and again. She felt guilty for waking Ty Lee up in the middle of the night, most every night. She knew how tired she must be after all of the circus work and staying up late at night. Sometimes getting up very early in the morning for their mischievous devices. Yet Azula always felt bad for making Ty Lee lose sleep, and worry about her. She was the worrying sort, something Azula couldn’t personally understand. But she appreciated her worrying lover, despite all the irksome complications that came with it.

Ty Lee came in, starting to take off some of her headwear. Her eyes looked tired, but her smile was still plastered onto her face. Ty Lee was always grateful for the feeling the circus gave her, but she didn’t like the thought of walking home with all the leering gazes that always happened in the lower ring. The circus was just barely in the lower ring, but Iroh’s home was so close to the palace that it was a long walk. And even in the upper ring there were perverts who lurked in the corners.

Azula was amazed that Ty Lee hadn’t noticed her yet. She had been standing there for a long time, unmoving but she didn’t blend in. Azula had come in one of her red outfits, as she hated walking around in the green all day. It was one of her only opportunities to show her true colors, the blood color that she adored so much. She stuck out in front of the green tent, but Ty Lee wasn’t expecting anyone. She had gotten used to walking home by now.

“Well you didn’t fall tonight.” Ty Lee nearly jumped out of her skin as Azula moved towards her. She had grasped her chest in surprise and slowly started to lower her arms.

“Azula you scared me. What are you doing here?”

“Picking you up of course. I can’t let an attractive young woman like you walk home all alone now can I?” She started to circle her like a hawk. She liked it much better when Ty Lee wore pink. It suited her, as much as she had first hated it when they were children. She hated seeing her in the green Kyoshi warrior uniform. It just wasn’t right. And pink made her look so much more attractive. So much more womanly.

“I’m kind of glad you’re here Azula. I really hate all of those creepy guys on the way home. Is your Uncle waiting outside for us?”

“No.” Azula had by that point backed Ty Lee into her dressing table, which she picked her up and sat her down on. Ty Lee’s arms wrapped around Azula’s neck instinctually as she smiled up at her.

“Good.” Ty Lee reached up slowly and pressed her lips against Azula’s. They had never started anything slowly. Not since they had been twelve. That first time they had just been exploring, tasting, testing. But then it had been nothing but frenzied. Now it was passionate, slow. Something Azula had assumed she wouldn’t like. Ty Lee always surprised her with something new. She always made her find out something about what she enjoyed.

The slow sensual dance of lips and tongues was something that Ty Lee enjoyed. She sighed as she leaned forward more. She had always wanted to ask Azula, but she always played by the Princess’s rules. But this moment, it was perfect. Azula’s hand was softly placed at the base of her neck and she showed no signs of her usual rushing nature. And Azula truly felt no need to rush. They both heard a rustlings near the entrance of the tent and pulled away sharply. A young man entered shyly with some flowers.

“I just wanted to tell you what a great job you did tonight Miss Ty Lee.”

“Oh thank you.” Ty Lee gracefully took the flowers from him.

“It’s nice to see Ty Lee has friends who love to watch her too! Please have a nice evening you two,” he winked towards Ty Lee. As soon as he was gone Azula’s scowl was apparent. Ty Lee touched her cheek lightly.

“Don’t worry Zula he’s someone you’ll never have to compete with. He’s another acrobat and his boyfriend is very kind.” Azula smirked as she looked down at her friend.

“Perhaps we should continue what we started when we get home. If you’re not too tired.”

“I’m not too tired for that,” Ty Lee playfully winked.

 

~

_“Azula?” Ty Lee ran her hair through Azula’s hair after combing it. Azula sometimes wished Ty Lee didn’t feel the need to speak. Sometimes it was just better if they didn’t get into deep conversations. But she knew Ty Lee thought that she knew everything. Ty Lee never came to anyone else with her concerns. She did talk to Mai about relationships, but there were so many things she couldn’t say. Because Azula never had to make Ty Lee swear not to tell. She didn’t want anyone to know about them either. Well not at that point she didn’t. She was still trying to figure it all out._

_“Do you think... do you think there are other girls out there like us?”_

_“You mean who make out with each other? I’m sure there have to be.”_

_“Well.... where are they?” Azula sighed._

_“Why does it matter?”_

_“I guess it doesn’t. I’d just like to know that we’re not alone.”_

_“You’re not alone. I like making out with you. See, one girl who kisses girls.”_

_“Well of course silly. But I mean someone else. Someone we can talk to.”_

_“We don’t need to talk to anyone. You only have to talk to someone if you have a problem. You don’t think this is a problem do you?”_

_“Of course not. I just think-” Azula turned around._

_“You think too much Ty Lee. Let me do the thinking.” Ty Lee smiled as Azula’s hand touched her cheek. She leaned into her hand as she looked into her beautiful amber eyes._

_“I’m sorry. I just worry too much.”_

_“We have nothing to worry about. As long as no one finds out.” Ty Lee nodded._   
_“Not even Mai right?”_

_“Especially not her.” Ty Lee smiled. She couldn’t imagine her boring friend caring about the two of them being together. She probably even suspected with all the time they spent alone together. The way Ty Lee always talked about Azula whenever they had a day where they hung out without her. The way Ty Lee’s name rolled off of Azula’s tongue and the small smirk that accompanied it. The way the two girls stared at one another in a crowded room. The way there was rarely one without the other. Ty Lee knew that Mai wasn’t stupid, nor was she blind. She wondered how many people suspected them. She even wondered if Ozai did. Although he thought Azula was the perfect daughter so he probably never thought she would do anything to disgrace him. None of her family had any idea. At least that’s what she thought._

_“How was your visit with the Princess?” Her father sat near her mother. Ty Lee hadn’t expected them to be up as late as they were. All of her siblings and the servants were all asleep. Ty Lee didn’t know what to expect. They were both smiling at her, something that didn’t normally occur. Them paying attention to her was something unusual._

_“It was nice.” She started to leave the room and heard her parents hushed voices. She stopped behind the doorway to listen._

_“If Ty Lee keeps it up, we’ll be the parents of the Fire Lady.”_

_“Do you really think the Princess feels that way about her?”_

_“Of course she does. We’ll be spending holidays in the palace in a couple of years you’ll see!”_

_“Ty Lee had better do as she should and stay with that girl. Our future is assured if she does.” She hadn’t thought that her parents could become worse than they already were. But they had. They were going to use her feelings for Azula to their own advantage. What was worse was that they thought the affections were one sided. Her heart pounded and ached. She wouldn’t let them use her. But more importantly she wouldn’t let them use Azula. She ran to her room and started throwing her belongings into her bag. She was leaving that night._

  
  



	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sexual Content Warning

_Ty Lee and Mai rarely got time alone together. Ty Lee had been asked over because Azula had a long war meeting that she couldn’t miss and Mai often got bored without her. As much as Mai hated to admit it, she really liked Azula. Most of the time Ty Lee was almost jealous. Their sense of humor was in sync, and they could gossip about anything. There were many times where Ty Lee felt like the third wheel. She didn’t want to say anything, but she felt like a freak when she was with them. They could easily seem like two normal girls, while Ty Lee thought about acrobatics and fluffy things. And Azula._

_Ty Lee sat near Mai in her room. They usually sat on the bed, and Mai would complain about one thing or another. Ty Lee looked up to the slightly older girl and she often wanted to seek her wisdom. Although, Mai had less experience with relationships than Ty Lee did, with all of her adoring fans. Mai often secretly thought that she preferred hanging out with Azula only because she never asked for relationship advice. Azula was so confident with herself, something that Ty Lee envied. Mai herself envied it, wishing she could be up front and brutally honest as the Princess was._

_Mai twirled her knife around, waiting for Ty Lee to ask her something. Ty Lee always asked questions that she couldn’t ask Azula because she feared she would take them the wrong way. Being in a complicated, almost abusive relationship with the Princess made her question many things. It was only mentally and emotionally abusive, and most of the time it wasn’t. It was only when Ty Lee talked about her doubts, when she wondered if there was something wrong with the two of them. Or if there was something wrong with her, because there couldn’t be anything wrong with Azula. Azula was perfect in every way. Maybe she was wrong for doubting it._

_“So Mai, when you like someone but you have to hide that you like them, is there something wrong?” Mai sighed. She had no idea how to answer that question._

_“Well why do you have to hide it?”_

_“Well if you like someone and they like you back but you have to pretend because other people won’t like it.”_

_“Like this guy has a girlfriend or something? Or an overbearing mother? Or you’re not in the same social class? Get to the point Ty Lee you’re not making any sense.”_

_“Well it’s just someone that you know you shouldn’t have feelings for but you do anyways.” Mai knew what that was like. She had feelings for a banished Prince who had a temper that was worse than Azula’s. And at least Azula wasn’t impulsive. Well, not most of the time._

_“Well you have to do what you think is right. I mean, how would great love stories happen if people just listened to society? If you have to hide it, I think that’s pretty sad.”_

_“Well I’m not really the one who wants to hide it.”_

_“Are they married? Are you involved with someone you shouldn’t be Ty Lee?”_

_“Oh no it’s nothing like that! They aren’t married or even in a relationship with someone else. It’s just kind of forbidden.”_

_“Well I think you should just go for it. You’re usually the impulsive sappy one not me.”_

_“Maybe you’re right.” Mai secretly thought about how little Azula was going to like Ty Lee dating any boy. She had long suspected that Azula had feelings for Ty Lee, feelings that ran deeper than just friendship. She had long ago noticed that Azula had eyes for the acrobat and she had honestly been surprised that Azula hadn’t ordered Ty Lee into a relationship with her. But Ty Lee didn’t seem all that interested, being surrounded by all of those boys. She didn’t seem to notice the Princess’ affections. She looked as though she was completely oblivious to them. Ty Lee was boy crazy by definition and all she could think about was some guy. And based on what Mai had seen, it was a new boy every week or so. Ty Lee always seemed like she had to have ten boyfriends at once._

_Ty Lee couldn’t deny she had kissed a boy before. That had been what had led her to kissing Azula when they were twelve. She hadn’t liked kissing the boy, but she hadn’t hated it. Azula had gotten angry at her and she couldn’t understand why. She now knew the truth. She had always had feelings for Azula. She always had men at her beck and call because it was the easiest way to hide behind how odd she felt inside. Weren’t women supposed to like men? Weren’t women, especially girls of her age, supposed to enjoy men pursuing them? She hid behind all of the men because she didn’t want to admit she had little interest in them. She wanted Azula. And the easiest way to hide it was through men. And no one had suspected. Not even Mai._

_“You know, if you have a real problem you should probably see an adult. I mean our parents are rich so they can afford therapists or whatever. And the school has a counselor.”_

_“I don’t want to worry anyone with my silly girl problems.”_

 

~

Ty Lee could feel her senses soaring as Azula slowly started their game. The walk home from her performance had been almost unbearable. The way Azula kept looking at her, taking her sweet time to walk home, meandering at every turn. Ty Lee almost wished they were in a rush. She was too excited, too ready to try something different. She had always been like that, wanting to rush into things. Azula was always the planner, the one who thought everything out. Ty Lee was impulsive, she did whatever came to her head and went with it. Most of the time she was lucky enough to have Azula to put the ideas into her head.

Azula was being so patient, so slow paced that Ty Lee almost wanted to speed things up. Almost but not quite. She didn’t mind being the one on the receiving end. She loved to bask in all the attention. And when Azula was with her, she made her feel like the most important person in the world. Well, while they were fooling around. Otherwise she treated Ty Lee the same way she treated everyone, except with a little more caring when it came to feelings.

Ty Lee felt breathless as they laid on the bed. They were just kissing, but for whatever reason she was more excited than she normally was, something she hadn’t thought possible. She had never felt this way before. She had always thought that she was just the experimental fling that Azula kept around, not something to be cherished. She was merely something to be used until she was sucked dry and then thrown away. But right now she felt as though she was worshipped, cherished. The way she felt about Azula.

Azula didn’t know why she felt so compelled to take her time. She had never wanted to go slowly with Ty Lee. Ty Lee was something to be enjoyed she was sure but she had never thought of cherishing her body slowly. She was always in such a rush. She was always in a rush to be Fire Lord, get married, have the required amount of children, prove her worth. Bed Ty Lee. Make her squeal in delight. But for whatever reason tonight the small hitching of her breath, the way she sighed, the way she unconsciously pulled closer were things that drove her wild. She couldn’t help but make herself slow down with such a captive audience. And for whatever reason, Azula never cared about her own pleasure as much. Ty Lee always came first when the lights went out.

Azula slowly planted kisses down Ty Lee’s jawline, listening to the steady intake of breath. She lightly kissed her pulse, revelling in the way the girl’s heartbeat sped up. She took her sweet time planting butterfly kisses down her neck to her collarbone, pulling the shirt down slightly. Ty Lee’s eyes fluttered shut, unable to control her own body or the sensations running through her. It was so different than before. Azula gently pulled the shirt over Ty Lee’s head, leaving room for Ty Lee to pull Azula’s off as well. Azula’s mouth found it’s place back at Ty Lee’s collarbone. Her tongue darted out onto Ty Lee’s skin and she shuddered. The things Azula made her feel, the way she could do the smallest thing and alight her passions. Azula could just look at her and her skin would burn with desire.

Ty Lee brushed her hand upwards, up Azula’s abdomen, listening to the heavy breathing. She didn’t know she could make Azula feel what she was feeling too. Maybe, just maybe they didn’t have to take turns this time? She slowly pushed Azula down next to her, both of them laying on their sides. Azula raised her brow, something that always drove Ty Lee mad. Ty Lee leaned in and captured her lips with her own and sighed into her lover’s mouth. Azula smirked against the lips as her hands traced the curves of Ty Lee’s beautiful body. Ty Lee slowly lowered her hand down Azula’s body, stroking through her underwear. Azula let out a noise she hadn’t meant to and Ty Lee giggled. She looked into Azula’s eyes and smiled the fullest smile she had ever felt.

“You are so beautiful.”

 

~

_Ty Lee got up every morning and did the same things. She pulled on the uniform. She was glad for the makeup, it covered the bags under her eyes. She went and trained with the other girls. She helped them with whatever tasks needed to be done. She played with the children and taught the little girls how to do cartwheels. She laughed with Suki and the others until late in the night. And then she peeled away the makeup every night, tears running down her soft skin. She would take her hair down and put her head into the pillow so that her tears would be muffled and she always prayed for sleep. She promised that she would be the best, kindest citizen and Kyoshi warrior if she could just have one night without thinking about her, one night without dreaming about her. Without hearing her voice. Smelling her skin. Feeling her hair in her hand._

_She knew she should be over it. She knew she should try to forget. She knew that she should just give up on her. She was always going to be insane. And even if she wasn’t, she would never love her back. Not the way Ty Lee loved her. She knew that Azula may even decide to never speak to her again. And she couldn’t handle that pain. She kept hoping, kept praying that Azula would forgive her and get better. And hopefully someday she could warm her heart enough to be with her. And not just like before where they had secretly snuck around. Really be with her. Ty Lee knew she needed to move on, but for whatever reason, she still couldn’t._

_Ty Lee had been asked out by plenty of different boys from the island. She had no intention of taking up any of their offers. They often gave her gifts and tried to impress her. They didn’t know how hard it was to impress her. She had seen blue fire, and lightning. She had seen firebending at its peak, the most precision that would ever be. She had seen a drill go through the wall of Ba Sing Se. She had seen the most flawless girl in the world play volleyball. She had reveled in the soft skin of an exposed shoulder, as brief a glimpse as it had been of the precious skin underneath. She had tasted perfection, and she wanted more. And none of them could ever be that close. None of them could ever be her._

_Ty Lee sat by the shore line and looked out. She knew she should stop coming here. It reminded her so much of Azula. She always went to the same place that faced the Fire Nation. She always felt a little closer when she looked out into the ocean. She looked at the sand and remembered their time together on Ember Island. She remembered how little the Princess actually liked swimming because the water was too cold for her naturally warm temperature. She preferred hot springs to any of the freezing cold waters of the ocean. Ty Lee smiled as she remembered the Princess sticking her toe into the water and then opting to sunbathe. And Ty Lee decided to join her, only to be surrounded by men. Everywhere she went they flocked and she knew how annoyed Azula always became when it happened._

_“Hey Ty Lee what are you doing out here?” Ryu walked up to Ty Lee, sitting close to her. She looked so much like her. She looked so much like her that it was scary. She always looked more like her with the makeup on but even without it the resemblance was uncanny. She just didn’t have the golden eyes. She couldn’t focus when she looked at Ryu because there was no honey, no sugar sweet color in her eyes for her to hold onto. And her voice was wrong. But if Ty Lee was going to attempt to replace Azula in her life, she would have picked this girl. She was almost a perfect copy. But almost was never good enough._

_“I’m just thinking.”_

_“You miss home don’t you?”_

_“Yeah.”_

_“Did you leave a boyfriend?” Ty Lee blinked repeatedly as she looked at her friend. She wondered if she could tell her about her almost girlfriend but decided against it._

_“Of course not silly.”_

_“Well I just thought since you’ve rejected every boy on the island,” she chuckled._

_“I had a thing for someone once. I messed it up though.” Ty Lee looked down on the ground sadly. She didn’t want to think about it._

_“Well, have you ever thought about being with a girl?” Ty Lee looked at her, dumbfounded, “Because I’d like to take you on a date or something.” Ty Lee knew that she should try it. She should get over her. Azula couldn’t blame her for moving on. Yes she could. Ty Lee had already hurt her enough._

_“Thank you. You’re really sweet. But I’m just not over it yet.”_

_“That’s okay. My offer stands.” She patted Ty Lee on the shoulder and then got up. When Ty Lee was sure she was far enough away she let out a small whimper. The tears that normally only plagued her at night trickled down her soft cheek. She was glad that there wasn’t any makeup for her to clean up today. She looked out at the ocean, not sure how she felt._

_“Isn’t it enough that I tried? Isn’t it enough that I have suffered and am still suffering? Why can’t I be happy?! It’s not like you were my true love! You could never love me! Why can’t I get over you? Why can’t I be happy without you! You didn’t want me anyways. I was just your pet, your circus freak! I was just the one that you would come running to when you couldn’t figure things out with a man! I was just the mouth you would invade, the mind you would say sweet words to! You were just using me weren’t you!” Ty Lee screamed at the ocean, not sure why she was doing it. It wasn’t as though Azula could hear her. She was locked up, and that thought still bothered Ty Lee. At least if Azula hated her, she should be able to hate her from wherever she pleased. Ty Lee hadn’t really tried. That’s when it all hit her._

_“I.... I didn’t try. You never gave up on me. Even after I betrayed you, you still came to see me in prison. If you knew how to love, you would have loved me wouldn’t you? I just ran away Azula... but I’m going to make it right!” Ty Lee wiped the tears from and smiled. She knew what she had to do._

 

_“You want to leave?” Suki looked at her new friend up and down. She had been with them for two years and had never requested any time off. She had always cheerily declined, even when Mai or Maddie had invited her as their treat. Ty Lee finally had enough money to do what she had planned. She had for quite awhile actually. But she had been afraid. No longer. No longer would she be afraid of what Azula had to say to her. She knew that she couldn’t give up on her, even if everyone else had._

_“I’ve been saving money to do it for a long time. I really want to see Mai. I’ve really missed her you know!” Part of Ty Lee told her it was wrong to emit the truth. But she didn’t want Suki to try and stop her._

_“Well if that’s what you really want, then who am I to stop you? Your family must miss you terribly anyways. Oh and you got a letter.” Suki handed the piece of folded paper to Ty Lee, who noticed the royal seal on it. She slowly opened it. She didn’t know who it could be from. She hadn’t answered Mai or Maddie’s letters in a long time, because she truly had nothing to say. She couldn’t think of a single thing to say to them. She had been so utterly depressed lately._

_“Ty Lee I know I shouldn’t say this to you as your commander, but as your friend I feel like I need to. You really need to let her go. I know you two were more than just friends, but I really think that you need something different in your life. Something healthy.”_

_“I’ve really tried to let go Suki. I really have. But I just can’t let go. Not until I know that I’ve done everything within my power to help her. Even if she never loves me back, as long as she is back to her normal self I couldn’t care less. I love her Suki.”_

_“She’s never going to get better Ty Lee. I know that this is your decision but I don’t want you to miss out on living just because you love her.”_

_“I’m missing out right now. Not being by her side is the worst pain I can imagine. I know I don’t act like it, but I need her in my life. I need her. And she needs me.” Ty Lee slowly skimmed the letter and became nervous by what she saw._

_“It looks like I’m going home earlier than I thought. I have received a royal summons. You and Sokka, along with the rest of Team Avatar are also being summoned.”_

 

~

“I thought Azula was the only one who was going to therapy?” Ty Lee sat with her legs crossed on the floor. She looked up at the young blond girl who she knew was the same age. The girl was smiling, looking down at her. She honestly didn’t know how to explain any of this to Ty Lee. She didn’t know if she should explain that Mai and Zuko had thought it was best to make sure that Azula wasn’t abusing her psyche. They wanted to make sure she wasn’t becoming Azula’s puppet and they also wanted to hear from Ty Lee that Azula wasn’t scheming anything. Elyon hadn’t agreed for those reasons. She knew that Ty Lee would be the largest contributor to Azula recovering but she also wondered about the girl’s mental status. Everyone had demons, but they rarely talked about them. Elyon could see that the guilt had eroded away the spunky personality of the young acrobat.

“Well we all know that Azula’s recovery is going to be sped up by you. Besides, I consider us friends. You could think of it as just two friends catching up.” Elyon cringed as she thought about poor Toph. Toph had volunteered to “babysit” Azula while Ty Lee talked with Ellie for a bit. They were no doubt shooting angry barbs at one another. She wondered how long she should make the meeting because she could already imagine the lightning and boulders flying through the air as they argued over nothing. She tried to not let her nerves for Toph show but she couldn’t help it. They both could have rather irrational tempers and they were so similar in ways that neither wanted to admit.

“Okay... so what do you want to talk about exactly?” Ty Lee didn’t know what she should, or more importantly shouldn’t say to this girl. She didn’t know whether Azula would verbally beat her for disclosing private information.

“Well, we can talk about anything you want to really. Your childhood, your friends, how you’ve been recently, dating, or even if you really want to Azula.” Ty Lee didn’t like any of those topics. She wouldn’t have minded talking about her friends except she hadn’t talked to the in a long time. And her childhood was strictly off limits except all the things she had done with Azula. And dating also fell under Azula. And she really didn’t want to talk about her complicated relationship with Azula. This girl wouldn’t understand what it was like to hide her feelings for another girl.

“Uh.... well.... Azula is really the only subject that you said that isn’t completely off limits so... I guess we could talk about her if you want.”

“So how have you two been?” Ty Lee blushed as she thought about all of the awkward things that could be said. Emotionally she felt like it was a rollercoaster sometimes. She couldn’t tell if they were okay or not. Most of the time she couldn’t tell if they were together or if they were just friends who fucked. She didn’t really want to talk about feelings. Well, she did when Azula was around. But what could this straight girl know about their relationship? And she wasn’t nobility so it wasn’t like she could understand that aspect either.

“We’ve been alright. Azula is working hard at the tea shop and I’m doing well in the circus again. I mean it’s still really fun and everything. And we’ve been spending a lot of time together again recently which is really fun. I really missed her.” Ty Lee didn’t know how much she should avoid telling her. Azula said that you only needed to talk someone if there was a problem. And there wasn’t a problem was there? Not according to Azula, but to her? There felt like there was something wrong between the two of them. Something they should talk about.

“Have you two been... intimate again?” Ty Lee blushed.

“I don’t see how that would be any of your business but yes we have.” She crossed her arms. Azula wasn’t going to be happy about this. But what she didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her right?

“So do other people know about you two? Being together that is?”

“I don’t think I would call it together. I mean we’re not seeing anyone else but we’re not together either. And no one knows. Azula doesn’t want to make it public.”

“Don’t you have a problem with that?”

“Yes and no I guess,” Ty Lee started to get frustrated, “What would you know anyways? It’s not like you have to hide your feelings for someone of the same sex! You don’t know what it’s like being in the Fire Nation nobility where you can’t talk about things like that! It just isn’t something you do. Azula and I never talk about our feelings and I think that has something to do with it!” Ty Lee never normally got angry. She just held everything in.

“You think I don’t know what it’s like but I do. I have feelings for a girl. And it was love at first sight. Well, sound I suppose. I have never met someone like her. I met her and with a single conversation I was completely enthralled. But she only appears to like boys, so I do know what it is like to hide your feelings for someone of the same sex. You shouldn’t judge before you know. Besides, I would rather talk about you. You two aren’t in the nobility anymore. Why does she still insist that you two hide it?” Ty Lee looked surprised. She had never met another girl who liked girls before. Suddenly she didn’t feel so alone and she broke out into a smile. She didn’t know why she had been so hostile to this girl before.

“Azula doesn’t like talking about feelings. She isn’t lovey-dovey like other girls and I’m okay with that. I don’t need some kind of declaration of love to be happy. I know she has some kind of feelings for me and that’s enough. I would love to hold her hand in public and call her mine. But if she doesn’t want that then I’m not going to pressure her. I’m not going to lose her again.”


	17. Chapter 17

“They... they aren’t killing each other?” Elyon and Ty Lee looked in wonder as the two girls lounged on the steps in the garden of the palace. Toph was waving her arms around as she yelled and the Princess laughed every now and again and added something of her own. Elyon hadn’t expected this. After all the preparation Toph had given Elyon about the vicious, manipulating nature of the Princess, she had taken to her. Toph was laughing and smiling and Azula had her own characteristic smirk, although it was easy to see she was enjoying herself based on her brow. Ellie had known they were similar, but she hadn’t known they would get over themselves so quickly. Toph wasn’t one for being mature so she couldn’t see her making the first move in a friendship. And Azula didn’t seem like one to make friends, she seemed like someone who demanded people to bow down and be friends with her. And yet, there the two of them were, laughing as though they had known each other all their lives.

Ty Lee and Ellie started to approach them. Ty Lee was confused herself. Azula had never made friends easily. In school Azula had only been friends with Ty Lee and Mai, and both of them had been introduced to her by her mother, not made by her own design. She didn’t know any funny things to say and she didn’t know how to make small talk. She did know how to talk about bending, but firebending was vastly different from earthbending in many ways, although there were always some things that carried over. The Princess did know how to use words, but she mostly tried to manipulate people, something that Toph would have none of. Maybe that’s why she liked her after all.

“Hey what are you two talking about?” Ellie and Ty Lee smiled down at them. Azula smiled up at Ty Lee, and Toph smiled up at Ellie. Her blank eyes seemed to be reading the young airbender for signs of discomfort. And she found many.

“Eh nothing much. Just sitting around waiting for you two to be done.”

“So you two didn’t try to kill each other?” Ty Lee joked.

“Well, we threw some insults at each other for quite awhile and then started talking about our similar family problems. And then we started laughing by making fun of Zuzu and all of the friends of the Avatar. It was very fun I assure you.” Azula smiled. She hadn’t thought she would take to the young bender. She mostly thought that she was one of those goody two shoes like the rest of that bunch, spouting speeches about doing the right thing. She hadn’t thought that the young girl was an opportunist, just as she herself had been. She was also interested as they both had special, unique bending that no one else had. And she was incredibly brash and sarcastic, making her easy for the Princess to like. She hadn’t thought it possible, but here she was laughing it up with a tiny blind girl who she had once thought her enemy. Well, they were still enemies in a sense.

“I honestly thought you two would have killed each other by now,” Ellie sighed with relief.

“Oh come now we’re both two adults waiting for you girly girls to get done talking about your touchy feely nonsense. We can at least make plenty of sarcastic remarks about that if nothing else.” Toph grinned at Ellie, hoping she wasn’t too jealous. She seemed to get that way every time Toph made friends with another girl, something that she noticed in Ty Lee as well. Whenever Azula talked to someone new that was about their age Ty Lee got the same look in her eyes that Ellie did. Although Toph couldn’t see that look she could just feel the breathing pattern and the sped up heartbeat. She knew when Ellie was unhappy. And Azula could tell the look from experience. Not just from Ty Lee but from watching the young airbender.

“Well we’re done now. Do you want to go home now Azula?” Ty Lee grinned down at Azula. She tried not to smirk too much. Their private life was just as it should be, private.

“Alright. I’m sure I’ll be forced to see you both next week.”

“See you Princess Snobby Pants.”

“See you next time. Although you won’t be seeing much of anything.” Toph smirked, and Azula smirked back. Ty Lee wasn’t sure if she liked this new friendship or if it was something she should be weary of. And Ellie felt the exact same way.

 

~

_Everyone thought Ty Lee was a weak person. Not physically, just mentally. They all saw how she clamored around Azula and did what she wanted. They all thought that she was just a puppet, just a toy of Azula’s. That really annoyed Azula. Not because she wanted Ty Lee to just go off and do whatever she felt like. She thought she would leave her if she did that. She just didn’t like others thinking they could manipulate Ty Lee. And she didn’t like it because if anyone knew the relationship between the two girls they would know that Ty Lee did a lot of manipulating herself. Ty Lee would pout and Azula would give in to her whims. She would bat her pretty little lashes and Azula would kneel. She would make her voice have just the tiniest hint of sadness and Azula would come running. Ty Lee pulled the real strings, and whether she knew it or not she controlled Azula’s tiniest fluctuation in emotion._

_“Ty Lee you know how much I hate playing with dolls. I don’t know why that old man keeps sending them to me.” Azula looked at the new doll and thought about burning it. She wished that her Uncle didn’t assume she would be girly like her mother and sister. She wasn’t that kind of girl and she never would be. But she looked at the way Ty Lee eyed the doll with want. Ty Lee had enough dolls. But most of them were destroyed by her sisters. Even though they were all older they still either took her things or destroyed them. And she wasn’t babied for being the youngest like Maddie was. Ty Lee had taken a few dolls from Azula but she had never had to ask for them. Azula always just handed them to her. And Ty Lee hid them away from her sisters and only took them out whenever she went to play with Azula._

_Azula really wanted to burn the doll. She couldn’t see what Ty Lee would like about such a silly thing. The doll was dressed like someone from the Earth Kingdom, just like the other one she had burned in front of her mother. It didn’t look quite like the other one, but dolls still held no appeal to the young Princess. She didn’t even like playing with them when Ty Lee was around although she was often roped into it. She didn’t mind watching Ty Lee play with the dolls, although for whatever reason she almost always played house with them. And she always had two girls getting married for some reason Azula couldn’t fathom._

_She couldn’t stand the pleading look on Ty Lee’s face. Don’t burn the doll Azula, you should just give it to me instead. You can always get another one to burn, just not that one. Please Azula, if you love me you won’t burn the doll. Azula if you love me you’ll just give it to me. You know you want to. If you don’t stop, I will keep making this face at you. I’ll be secretly upset with you for more than just the rest of the day Azula._

_“Here.” She threw the doll at Ty Lee, which she skillfully caught. Ty Lee gave the biggest smile Azula had ever seen. Azula hid her blush as Ty Lee introduced the new doll to her other dolls. She couldn’t help but get an odd satisfaction from making that girl happy. It was different than when she tortured Mai or Zuko through her normal tactics and she felt pleasure. It was better when she made Ty Lee happy. She felt happy herself, as though she had become more accomplished and appreciated than when she learned new firebending moves. She felt something completely different, something she couldn’t describe._

_The young Princess loathed sending mail to her Uncle. But her mother insisted because she needed to spend more time on her handwriting apparently. She didn’t like her mother’s insinuation that her handwriting wasn’t up to par. She couldn’t think of anything to send her fuddy-duddy uncle. She thought about telling him to not send her any more dolls. But then she saw her friends excited face and changed her mind. She slowly wrote about how much she had loved the doll and how she wouldn’t mind if the doll had another friend, as the doll was very lonely. She didn’t know why that silly little smile made her feel warm inside, but she knew for whatever reason she wouldn’t mind seeing it more than once. And if talking to her Uncle and sucking up to him would get her some more of that, she would always suck in her pride. Because Ty Lee always knew how to manipulate her, whether she realized it or not._

 

~

“So what did you guys talk about in there?” Ty Lee looked nervously at Azula as she pulled on the tea server uniform. She looked as though she was assessing Ty Lee, trying to read her movements and actions. She was curious, mostly because Ty Lee hadn’t babbled on and on about it.

“It’s supposed to be confidential Azula.” Ty Lee smiled as she watched Azula’s brow twitch. She didn’t like that answer. And Ty Lee knew she wouldn’t like it. But she was tired of Azula getting what she wanted. She wanted to get what she wanted for a change, and talking about feelings was something she wanted to do eventually. Even if Azula wouldn’t go for it she didn’t really care. Today if nothing else was going to be about what she wanted, what she needed.

“Well fine then.” Azula turned and shoved her foot into one of her shoes angrily. She didn’t like when Ty Lee was defiant. She liked when she got the response she wanted. Although Azula figured they had probably been talking about her. Ty Lee hated talking about her childhood, and she had been neglecting her friends lately. She didn’t like to talk about herself and she loved to talk about feelings. And Ty Lee loved labels. She wanted to put a name to what they were. She had always been that way, except when it had come to men. Azula knew that particular fact gave her comfort, that she really must be important. But she didn’t like talking about feelings because there was very little for her to say. She wouldn’t admit any feelings for the acrobat no matter how much she pouted.

“I did find out something interesting about Ellie though.” Ty Lee knew that Azula probably already knew or was at least suspicious. Anyone could tell that Ellie had some kind of odd feelings for Toph except for the young earthbender herself. How they lived together without it ever coming out in the open was beyond Ty Lee. But she figured at least a small tad of gossip would at least improve Azula’s scowling. Azula raised her brow to Ty Lee, but knew she couldn’t give her any information about the girl than she already knew. But she did like to indulge every once in awhile. She didn’t like to disappoint Ty Lee, although it was hard to truly disappoint the girl.

“Oh?” Ty Lee smiled. Just as she expected.

“She seems to have quite the crush on your new friend. I was meaning to ask what you two talked about anyways. You seemed to really take to each other.”

“Don’t be jealous Ty. We just have a lot in common, being extraordinary benders. And we also have very similar family lives. Although I didn’t know she was nobility, which makes our lives even more similar. We’re just very alike in disposition.” Azula smiled. She hadn’t minded complaining about her family to the girl, who had just as much pressure as a child. Except she had to pretend to be meek and innocent. High expectations. Azula could relate. And her brash and sarcastic nature made her an obvious choice of friend. She almost made her think of Mai, but she always stopped herself. She didn’t miss that traitor.

“I’m just glad you made a friend! You were always so bad at making friends.”

“Well excuse me for not crusading for friends when I can just have followers. And besides I didn’t really need more than two. A small elite team is good enough for me.” Ty Lee jumped up and kissed Azula on the cheek as she started for the door.

“Whatever you say Zula. Have a nice day at work.” Azula rolled her eyes and made her way out. She didn’t miss that traitor. She could have different friends. She wasn’t completely hopeless in that department, despite what everyone else seemed to think. She had just never needed more friends than Mai or Ty Lee. Ty Lee had been her entertainment, her crush, her first love. Her support, the person who made her feel good. Mai had been different. Mai had been the one she shared all her laughter and vicious qualities with. She had been different around the traitor. She had teased her for having feelings for her brother, but she never really meant it. Mai had been different, and she was sad that she was gone. Not that she’d ever admit it.

Mai was the reason for all of her suffering. If it hadn’t been for Mai, Ty Lee never would have betrayed her. She was able to handle Mai’s betrayal, she knew that it would come at one point or another. They were too much alike. But Ty Lee had destroyed her. And it was Mai’s fault. Mai was the reason she wasn’t in the palace. She was the reason Ty Lee’s braid wasn’t tangled in the elaborate bedframe. She was the reason that Azula wasn’t sitting on the throne as Fire Lord with Ty Lee and her sister by her side. Mai, one of her best friends had betrayed her. And it wasn’t like when Ty Lee had betrayed her. She had actually thought Mai liked her. She hadn’t thought she would leave. But she did.

 

~

_“You know you should have just told me.” Mai sat at the back of the cell, looking at Azula through it. Azula for once in her life looked nervous. She didn’t know why she was talking to this traitor. Maybe, maybe Azula cared about someone other than herself. Maybe she was trying her hardest to cling to any sanity she had. Maybe she clung to the hope that Mai would say she had been wrong, that choosing Zuko was a mistake. That their friendship meant more to her than actual love. It wasn’t like they were really in love. They just didn’t hate each other. And Azula didn’t like how her brother treated her friend. Leaving without a word to her face, not even giving her the chance to go with him. Being a jealous, angry psycho. She had tried to tell Mai in the nicest way possible that they weren’t good together. She had tried on the beach to tell her that first love wasn’t the only love. That’s why they called it first love. But she couldn’t really say anything because she was still with her first love, without being with her. She didn’t like how her brother treated her like she was emotionless. She knew he was just with her because she was pretty. He didn’t really appreciate her._

_“I shouldn’t have told you anything. I still can’t believe I told you. You’re such a pathetic traitor. I can’t believe you’re still the one I come running to when I have problems,” Azula grounded out. It had taken every ounce of her being to push down her pride and hurt enough to come see her._

_“I already knew you idiot.” Mai looked at her forlorn friend with some sympathy. It had been so difficult for her to choose Zuko over Azula. Not that she’d tell her. Azula had been her friend for a long time. Longer than anyone else. Azula was the one she laughed with, gossipped with, got nails done with. The only person she had ever invited to sleep over. They had laughed the whole night and her mother couldn’t yell at her because she was with the Princess. And Mai could finally feel whatever she wanted to feel and express it. But that didn’t last long, because her mother told her how improper it was to run around with the Princess and that she should be ladylike. She had been the worst woman Mai had ever known and she looked forward to being with Azula as much as possible._

_“It doesn’t matter now anyways.” Azula looked down. She didn’t know why she decided to talk about feelings. They weren’t something she liked to talk about. But the only person she was ever willingly vulnerable in front of was Mai. Ty Lee was always on accident. But she could always tell anything to Mai. She had kept her love affair a secret but she had always felt guilty. She had always told the other girl everything, even about her family problems. Mai knew everything about her. She had wondered why Mai had never suspected. But she had._

_“Look, I’m always going to think she’s too good for you. She is sunshiny and loving and you are a dark, cynical, broken girl. You don’t deserve someone like her Azula. But you need to tell her that you love her.”_

_“What do you know? I don’t even know why I decided to talk to you! You don’t know what love is! You have a silly crush on Zuzu and you betray your best friend! You don’t know how to show your emotions anymore than I do! And maybe I don’t deserve her. How could anyone? She is perfect. She’s all that’s good in this world. She never asks anyone for anything. All she does is give and give. I was stupid to think that she could ever actually have feelings for someone like me.” Mai’s brows crept together in sadness. She didn’t know if Ty Lee felt anything back. She couldn’t say. But seeing Azula’s heart broken was something she never thought she would see. And it hurt her, something she didn’t quite understand. She had been so angry for so long, angry for Azula manipulating her, just like her mother did. But now she saw her friend breaking and she wished with all her heart that she hadn’t done what she did. Zuko didn’t need her like Azula had._

_“You’re right about one thing Azula. I don’t know much about love. I don’t know how or why it works the way it does. I don’t know why you feel the way you do, or if what I feel for Zuko is even love. I don’t know the answers. But I think that if you told her and she said it back you would feel compelled to free her. And you would be left wide open for her to hurt you again. I know you Azula. That is what I do know. And even if you don’t deserve her, you deserve to be happy.”_   
_“Don’t you dare patronize me!!”_

 

~

Azula felt tired. She didn’t normally, but the day had been long. She was tired of all the monotony. She was tired of the mundane. She didn’t mind going to “therapy” every Tuesday morning. It got her out of work. She didn’t mind visiting her sister. She didn’t mind picking Ty Lee up from the circus. She didn’t mind Ty Lee visiting her at work. She didn’t mind pulling Ty Lee into anywhere that was private. She did mind doing the same thing everyday. She did mind her Uncle trying to pretend her cared about what happened to her. Although, everyone acted like that. She didn’t like the long walk home with the old man who kept trying to be pleasant. She hated coming up with new insults or retorts. She didn’t understand how Zuko had taken his nonsense over all the years.

She sighed as he rattled around looking for his keys again. She wished he would just give them to her. He was always on her nerves no matter what he did. As a child she hadn’t minded him as much, but it was mostly because she rarely saw her warlord Uncle. She was tired of his philosophical nonsense and all of his idealized bullshit. She knew that the world was a cruel, and often ironic place. She didn’t need all of the lovey dovey Avatar nonsense to be shoved down her throat anymore than it already was. She smiled as he walked through the door finally and looked at the table. Ty Lee looked slightly nervous, and Azula didn’t notice the other person at first. Then her eyes collided with a set of light honey colored eyes and she scowled. She felt all of her anger swell up inside her.

“Azula, Uncle we got a surprise visitor.” Ty Lee looked at Azula nervously.

“Hello Azula.”

“Hello Mai.”


	18. Chapter 18

Azula felt all of the pressure pooling in her temples. She noticed the look Mai was giving her back, a slightly less angry face. She noted a small hint of pity in her eyes which made Azula sick. She could feel all of her anger that she had buried resurface as she looked at the other girl. Her Uncle put his hand on her shoulder but she jerked away. Ty Lee saw the way her face contorted in rage, as though she was about to lose it. Azula was grinding her teeth in an attempt to control herself. But she thought of all the hallucinations and dreams where she had seen Mai and Ty Lee together, laughing at her. They always ended in amorous embraces, driving Azula past her breaking point. At least when she had thought about Ty Lee with men she could accept that they possessed something she did not and that they could give Ty Lee children. Her mind started to become a blur for a moment, wondering what had happened. She couldn’t remember the beginning of her sentencing so she couldn’t remember if it was an actual event or her fantasy.

“Azula why don’t you sit down. I’ll start getting dinner ready. You’ve worked long and hard today, you deserve a rest.” Her Uncle looked at at her with sympathy too and she couldn’t stand it. Ty Lee’s nervousness was obvious. She kept looking back and forth at her two friends like she had at the Boiling Rock. She wanted nothing more than to be out of the situation she was in. She had hoped that if her friend had ever decided to visit, she would at least write. Or decide to stay the night in the palace instead of insisting upon staying the night. She hadn’t thought she would just show up on a whim. Mai wasn’t normally one for doing things like that.

Mai had come for several reasons. The first and foremost was to get away from Zuko for a bit. As much as she loved him, he could become completely insufferable at times and she desperately needed to get away from him to remember why she appreciated him. She also wanted to catch up with Ty Lee, as she hadn’t written her in an odd amount of time. She had never been a constant correspondent, but she always replied eventually. She wanted to check on Maddie and make sure everything was going well, because Zuko never believed her letters. And she wanted to see Azula. She had been more than hesitant in seeing her old friend face to face without bars between them. But she knew she would have to sooner or later. And she had gotten the reaction she had expected.

Azula calmly sat down in her regal fashion. She sat at the farthest end away from Mai, looking at her and Ty Lee sitting next to one another. She assessed the situation silently in her head. As much as she would have liked to, killing the girl was not an option. She knew she would have to go back to prison for good, or Zuzu would lose his temper and execute her. She knew she would probably do the only thing she could do and shoot angry barbs her way, including Ty Lee in the range of her anger but she almost felt as though Mai was too lowly to deserve a response. And as much as she didn’t want to admit it, she didn’t like to hurt Ty Lee. She truly wanted to get Mai as far away as possible but she truly didn’t want to apologize in front of her either. And Ty Lee always made her in one form or another.

Ty Lee didn’t like the silence. She felt there was too much thinking, too much hatred in the air. She remembered when Mai and Azula had gotten along so well. She remembered them laughing and gossipping. She remembered Mai teaching Azula to throw knives with her. She didn’t want them to be angry with each other forever, just because of some boy. Ty Lee thought it was rather silly, especially since Zuko wasn’t anything special. Not that she would ever say that to Mai. She also didn’t know how much Azula wanted her to say about their relationship. She knew she wasn’t comfortable with it, but Ty Lee couldn’t see any reason not to tell their friend other than Azula’s anger. She knew Mai would disapprove. But she honestly didn’t care. She wasn’t going to hide herself from her friend just because Mai didn’t approve. Mai hadn’t bothered to hide her relationship with Zuko, although Azula had clearly disapproved. Ty Lee couldn’t think of a single reason to keep their relationship from Mai.

“So..... how have you been Mai?” Ty Lee asked hesitantly, trying to keep her nerves in check. She knew from Mai’s last letter that she was still living in her parent’s house, but that was a short walk to the palace. Living in the palace was out of the question, what with the nobilities need for decorum. If she had moved in the whole nation would have been buzzing with the scandal of it, even if she lived in a completely different wing of the palace. She knew that Mai was with Zuko nearly everyday, but she always went home for the evening as far as she knew.

“Pretty much the same as the last time you had the decency to write me back,” Mai drawled. Her eyes were still mostly fixed on Azula. And Azula hadn’t taken her eyes off of her ex-friend. She smirked suddenly. She was going to challenge Ty Lee. For whatever reason she was feeling devious. She knew that Ty Lee wouldn’t know what to do. She was torn between telling Mai, which could result in Azula’s wrath, and keeping her mouth shut. She wanted to see how much amusement she could get out of this horrible situation.

“Well Ty Lee has been rather busy lately,” Azula said raising on brow. Ty Lee’s flesh turned a bright red and her eyes darted between her two friends. She didn’t know how to cover up the intimate implications and Mai looked at Ty Lee questioningly.

“Y-yeah! What with the circus and all. Plus I’ve been trying to make sure Azula is comfortable. You know with her new job, visiting the palace, and therapy with Ellie and all. And helping Iroh with the chores here and there. It’s been very busy with all that around here!”

“Well I’m glad to hear you’re busy. I’m actually glad to get away from my own business. The court never rests with all of the prosecutions still going on and all of the official business Zuko has to do. But I’m really glad to get away from all of that political boredom.” Azula raised her brow. She had always thought that Mai wasn’t cut out to marry a politician. She had never liked her fascination with Zuko, but she wondered why she tolerated a life she hated for him. Everything bored her for the most part that was true, but Mai had always expressed her deep hatred for politics. She thought nothing was more boring than being a politicians daughter, and Azula couldn’t see her marrying one of the largest political players on the world stage at the moment. She couldn’t see Mai being happy with Zuko for very long.

“Yes how is Zuzu doing? I’m sure the weight of his crown is crushing him already.” Azula looked down at her nails in a bored manner. She knew Zuko was horrible with all of the formality, and even worse at keeping his temper in check. She couldn’t see him doing well. Although it had been two years since he had taken the thrown, she knew the situation wasn’t getting much better. She had heard all of the politics repeated from her sister, who didn’t really have any interest. She just had very little else to talk to her older sister about while she had been in that cell.

“He admits on a weekly basis that you would have been much better at it than he is,” Mai replied dryly. Azula hadn’t expected Mai to admit something like that to her. Zuko admitting that she was better than he was at everything wasn’t anything new. He had been doing that since he was a child. Mai didn’t normally like to point out any faults that her beloved might have, and she was even less keen on discussing them with his sister. Well, his “crazy” sister.

“Well of course I would have been. After all I am a people person. Aren’t I Ty Lee?” She smirked at her lover from across the table. Ty Lee smiled shyly and nodded in response.

“Well of course you would have been great at it Azula. You’re so good at problem solving. You always have been. Like when you took down Ba Sing Se, or when we were chasing the Avatar. You were always amazing at things like that Azula. I bet if you put your mind to fixing the bond between the nations, it would be better in a matter of weeks.” Ty Lee admiration for her love was apparent. Anyone with eyes could see that she had a crush since she was very young. Mai looked at Ty Lee wondering if she was right. Azula knew how to get what she wanted. And she no longer looked crazy. If they could figure out a way to make their goals her goals, they would be on their way to restoring all of the balance that had been lost. Mai knew it, and she was sure that Zuko knew it. But Azula wouldn’t agree with them no matter what they did.

“You don’t have to state the obvious Ty Lee. Although it might take a little longer than that. What Zuzu doesn’t realize is that you can’t fix a hundred years of damage in two years. And you certainly can’t do it by just giving in to the other nations left and right. Then you will have assassination attempts from your own people. And you can’t just give all of that territory back to the Earth Kingdom. Fire Nation people live there. They will try and start a revolution of their own. And we can’t forget that we obliterated the Air Nomads. That’s not something that we can just restore.” Azula looked off thoughtfully. If she actually wanted to participate in all of the new politics of the side of “good” she would have to strategize like she had never strategized before. She didn’t think there was a way for everyone to be happy with the outcome, but she hadn’t really thought that long about it. She couldn’t see anything to be gained from helping her brother. She still had her title. She was free to go where she pleased, although she was watched. And once a week she still got the royal treatment. And Ty Lee gave her the royal treatment every day. She didn’t really have too much to complain about. And the last thing she wanted was to live with Zuko.

Mai didn’t say that there had been a few attempts on Zuko’s life already. From people of the Fire Nation. She wasn’t going to say that Azula was right about all of her assumptions. The Fire Nation wasn’t happy with all of the war concessions. The colonies were very upset, threatening to make their own nation. Some of them had been there for almost the whole hundred years. But the other nations were demanding much more than Zuko could give. Aang was trying to help, but Azula knew what she was talking about. And Mai hated to admit that they could actually use her help.

“Yeah that is a lot of horrible stuff...” Ty Lee looked down. She hated politics almost as much as Mai did. She knew that it was part of what Azula was good at, but she hated to think that the world was in so much turmoil. It made her aura darker and she didn’t like that one bit. She knew that the most logical person to help fix it was Azula, she was so smart it was stupid to not enlist her. But she knew she would have to follow her wherever she went, and she really didn’t want to be in the middle of it. She liked their new found quiet life with Iroh, as much as she was sure Azula wanted her old glory. She didn’t want to go back to the Fire Nation yet. She wasn’t even sure if she ever wanted to. She would if Azula wanted it, but there wasn’t anything there left for her. She had no interest in making amends with her family and as much as she loved Mai she didn’t want to visit all that often. Too many memories in one confined space. She enjoyed her freedom the way it was. No more nobility or royalty. She didn’t have to pretend to be a lady ever again. And she loved it.

“You’re looking well Azula. I must say I’m surprised. Although, I shouldn’t be,” Mai looked at her friend up and down, trying not to be transparent. Not that she ever was, not even with her former best friend.

 

~

_Azula knew what would have to be done. She knew that her traitorous brother, who had done exactly as she suspected he would, and the rest of the Avatar’s friends would be attempting to break the prisoners out of the Boiling Rock. And Mai’s letter from her Uncle the warden had come quickly enough, alerting her of her suspicions. She knew that it would happen sooner or later, especially with all of their hero complexes. She was happy that as always, Zuko was predictable. She had already made sure that he would exactly as she planned. She had been manipulating him almost all of their lives. She hadn’t expected him to get banished, which at first she had thought was wonderful. But whether she was sad a few days later because she missed abusing him, because he hadn’t done what she wanted, or because she actually cared she couldn’t say. She felt as though it may have been a mix of all three._

_She sat next to Mai as Ty Lee looked anxiously out the window. Ty Lee couldn’t sit still to save her life, something that always slightly annoyed Azula. Mai was looking out the window and Azula could read her friend like a book. She had talked to her before about confronting Zuko. She had been upset by her ass of a brother breaking up with her. Azula had never seen her genuinely upset. And instead of going to Ty Lee, who would have been more sympathetic, she went to Azula. She came, trying to hold in her tears with the letter to Azula. That was something she was only used to seeing from Ty Lee. She had no idea that Mai could, did trust her. She had tried her best to be comforting, but she was mostly just her normal tactical self. She proposed ways that she could release some of her anger and hurt, and she also came up with scenarios in which Mai could confront Zuko. And she sat quietly as Mai cried on her shoulder. She confirmed that Zuko was indeed a total douche, and that Mai deserved better. And she meant it. Mai deserved better._

_She had arranged for Mai to be allowed to confront him before she took him back to their father for judgement. She already knew her father had had more than enough of him, and banishment wasn’t going to be an option. Death would be the only thing to await him. Life imprisonment wouldn’t be enough for their father this time. He wanted blood. And he would have it all over the throne room floor. She knew that her sister would have to be hidden, something not easily arranged. But she knew that it was important for Mai to get her anger out before he was no more. She felt a little twinge of guilt, because she knew she would not bother defending him. Her little sister would plead and beg, but it would fall on deaf ears. And she knew it._

_“I arranged a meeting for you with your Uncle’s permission.” Azula looked at Ty Lee looking out every window, trying to get the views from every angle. Mai looked over at her friend and gave a tiny smile. Even tinier than her normal smiles. Azula couldn’t tell if she was angry or sad. She knew this is what she had wanted, and she had gone out of her way to make sure it would happen._

_“Thank you Azula. I don’t normally say things like this, but you don’t know how much this means to me.”_

_“I do. That’s why I went out of my way for this. If my jerk brother is going to break up with one of my best friends over a letter, she better have an opportunity to stab him with some knives before my father burns him to a crisp.”_

_“Do you really think he’ll go that far Zula? Won’t he just throw him in prison?”_

_“He’s already in prison. That won’t be enough this time. He attacked my father. Well, in self defense but my father has never really seemed to care about reasoning before.” She watched Mai’s face for any flicker of emotion. But her eyes remained angry._

_“Good. That traitorous jerk deserves what’s coming to him.” Azula knew she didn’t mean it. She was as in love with her brother as she could be with anyone. She had never seen her so broken. She picked herself up quickly, but that’s because Mai was like that. She never needed anyone. She could take care of herself and she didn’t need a man to be somewhat happy._

_Mai, Ty Lee, and Azula stepped into the prison unescorted for the time being. Her soldiers were near the entrance, just in case anything went wrong. But Zuko, and his new little friends wouldn’t be expecting a connection within the prison. After all, Mai and her uncle looked nothing alike. And it wasn’t usual for a politician’s relatives to be in the prison business. Not that Zuko would think that far ahead to ask Mai about her family. Azula knew he was a terrible boyfriend. She had known he would be since she came out of the womb. He was completely lost in any kind of social situation. And he was horrible about considering other people's feelings. That's why he had convinced their uncle to search the earth with him when the old man would much rather be drinking tea._

_"Are you sure you're okay with me talking to him? You might need me."_

_"Ty Lee and I can manage on our own. Besides, you need to do this."_

_"You know I sometimes think you're a shitty friend. But you're always there when I need you most."_

_"Take all the time you need." Azula smiled. Mai nodded and walked away slowly. As_

_soon as she was out of sight Ty Lee kissed Azula. Azula looked down, startled._

_“It was so nice of you to do this for Mai. You really are a great friend!” Azula smiled down at her closest friend. She had no idea that her small kindness would be taken for granted._

 

~

Azula stared up at the ceiling in her bed. She had been staring at it for the better part of the night. Ty Lee had opted to sleep in her own room with Mai. Azula hadn’t realized how dependent her sleeping was on that warm girl sleeping next to her. And she felt in an odd way she had been sent to bed without dinner. They never missed a night when they were home together. And when they were apart they dreamed about having sex with each other. It was so natural with them. They craved each other. She didn’t crave her as much tonight. She would have given anything to just have her next to her, her legs intertwined like they normally were when the slept together. She wouldn’t mind her hand in her hair. The smell of her in the bed, intermingling with her own. Her hair fanned out on the pillow. She hated to admit that she was so attached. So vulnerable. She didn’t want to admit it, but she was in love with Ty Lee. She always had been. But she wasn’t ever going to admit it. There was nothing to be gained from it. And she didn’t want to lose anything. If she told her, she could lose her. And Azula didn’t lose, especially not if she could help it.

Azula sat up as she heard her door sliding open. Ty Lee quickly slid it shut. She had snuck out after Mai was safely asleep. Azula didn’t look happy at all. She looked as though she could have killed her on the spot and Ty Lee didn’t like that. It was nearly two in the morning. Azula was furious that they had been up so late laughing and catching up. Of course Ty Lee had invited her, but she had no interest in spending more time with her ex-friend than was required. She felt incredibly tired and didn’t want to think about getting up early to open the tea shop with her Uncle.

“Azula, I’m so sorry. I didn’t invite her I swear! And she didn’t tell me she was coming, I’m so sorry that you had to deal with that. What kind of person am-”

“Ty Lee please be silent. Just get in this bed. I would really like to sleep sometime tonight.” Ty Lee smiled at Azula and jumped into the bed excitedly. She curled up next to Azula and Azula sighed in relief. And she realized when she rose the next morning that she had never had a more peaceful sleep in her life.


	19. Chapter 19

"Ty you need to get up." Ty Lee made a pained noise in her sleep. Azula groaned. She had no idea what time Ty Lee was supposed to be at the circus but she was always up before now. She almost regretted their rendez-vous at five in the morning. Almost but not quite. The way she had bent her leg back still made her shudder. She ignored her once again ignited desires as she slowly shook Ty Lee, trying her best to be gentle. Her eyes slowly fluttered open and she smiled up at her.

"You're always awake before now. You'll be late." Ty Lee nearly jumped out of her skin when she saw the clock.

"Oh no!" She sprinted to her room to get changed. Azula smirked as she watched her panic. Almost as quickly as she left the room Ty Lee ran back in and kissed her quickly, and then ran out the door. Azula grinned mischievously as she slowly pulled her own clothes on. She knew she was probably going to be late, the first time in history. But she didn’t really care about her fuddy-duddy uncle’s opinion of her. Although she liked to be perfect, she wasn’t sure which was more important. She wasn’t looking forward to seeing Mai this morning, if she was going to see her at all. She could imagine the staredown, and possible showdown if they were left unsupervised. She still felt the lust to kill her in her veins, lighting her inner rage once again. Knowing that the throne had been ripped from underneath her. That her sanity had been stripped. That Ty Lee had been taken captive by the knife wielding temptress that had somehow ensnared her overly emotional brother. Although he did have to possess some kind of control and she embodied it.

Azula exchanged the dreaded glance before she walked out the door. But it had been a more dreaded look. Mai held sorrow in her stare, as though she regretted everything she had done. Like she actually missed her. All of the late nights where they laughed about some silly political thing, some annoying rule that they both hated, every mean joke played, every shared lunch, every extra hair tie, every short embrace, every teasing remark about Mai’s crush on her brother, every meaningful word and glance reflected in the older girls eyes. Azula knew she was sorry. She doubted she would ever say it out loud, but she knew that she was. And Azula wished it was easier for her to hate, to remain angry. And when both of them had been friends, it had been so much easier for her. But her anger was slipping away. She still managed to glare as she walked out the door, trying to forget that traitorous childhood friend she had left in her new residence.

She wished that the short walk had not been filled with such confusing emotions. All of the time she had spent with Mai was flashing through her mind. Every meaningless giggle, every heartfelt moment. She wished that she could forget them all. She wished she could hold onto her anger towards Mai, the same way she did towards her mother. But she found it was more difficult the more time she thought about it. Mai had been closer to her in some ways than Ty Lee could ever be. The bond they had shared, no matter how twisted it could be at times, was still one of the most important she had ever had in her life. She had a lack of family love, something Zuko didn’t have. But she had friends. She couldn’t remember Zuko having a friend all through school. He never brought anyone home, never spent time at anyone’s house. She had made up for the lack of love she had from their mother and uncle through her two friends, the two she thought would never leave. Ty Lee and Mai, the two complete opposites. Ty Lee was her breath of fresh air, her angel. The best thing in this world, the most sunshine. Her sunshine. And her best friend, Mai. The gloomy girl who sighed a lot, the girl who would laugh and understand Azula better than anyone. She was the one who saw Azula as her equal. At least, Azula had thought they had that kind of understanding. Everything had changed after Mai moved to the Earth Kingdom. They were never the same. And Azula had never bothered to ask why.

Azula started to throw herself into her work to try and escape it. She wanted to let go for the first time in her life. She wanted to let go of all of her family and childhood ties and just be alone. Just be free of all of the annoying problems between her and everyone. She just wanted to be on an island where she didn’t know anyone, and where no one knew who she was. She didn’t want to be connected to her parents, ancestors, Mai, hell, even Ty Lee. She just wanted to walk around for a day not worrying about what other people thought about her, and more importantly what she thought about everyone else. But she knew that it was silly to hope for another day like Ember Island. Where no one knew who she was. She was just a normal teenager. She wasn’t feared. Or hated. And no one knew all the horrible things she had done so she wouldn’t end up like Zuko. So she wouldn’t end up like her mother.

“Azula, your Uncle wants to speak to you in the back.” She noticed the way the other server was trembling. Like she had snapped at her or something. She might have earlier in the week or month, she couldn’t remember anymore. She wasn’t good at playing nice. She did what she had to do to survive, but then again, who didn’t? She pushed passed the terrified girl and made her way back to the kitchen. She looked at her jolly Uncle with disdain. He was smiling a little too much and she didn’t like it.

“I must have forgotten to tell you last night Azula, with Mai surprising us like that. You’re not working out there anymore. I’m promoting you to assistant manager! Isn’t that exciting?!” Azula smiled a little bit. She didn’t know why she liked her talents recognized so much. She listened as her Uncle showed her what she was supposed to do, and then went about her business making everything more efficient like she normally did. He always seemed so amazed by her abilities, although she thought that he should be used to it by now. He had lived almost an entire lifetime knowing her father, and everyone said she was the spitting image of him. Except that they all expected her to be better than he was. Although it was much too late now and she knew it.

Ty Lee pranced into the tea house with Mai at four. She was a little worse for wear, because she was being forced to train new acrobats. It was that time of year again, since it got too cold during the winter to perform as many shows. She didn’t mind all of the eager young faces, but it wore on her more easily. She wasn’t great at leading like Azula was. Mai looked around with Ty Lee for Azula, dreading actually seeing her, especially after that morning. She had almost lost her mask, and she didn’t want to take it off just yet. That wasn’t what she came to do. She hadn’t come to make up with Azula and have some kind of teary confessions. She had come to get away from Zuko and see Ty Lee. Wasn’t that the reason? She wasn’t sure anymore. A server approached them and Ty Lee looked at her confused. Azula was never late.

“Mai, you did say you saw Azula leave for work this morning right?”

“Yeah I saw her leave in the uniform,” Mai said dryly. Mai wouldn’t have put it past Azula to completely skip work and come up with some kind of elaborate plan to take over the Fire Nation again. But she had seemed like she wasn’t exactly planning anything. Not that it was easy to tell when she was.

“Is there anyway you can see if Azula is going to go on her break? She normally does this time of day and I was counting on it,” Ty Lee asked sadly. She liked her Azula time and didn’t like to be cheated out of it, especially on a work day. The employee looked incredibly hesitant, but nodded nonetheless. She disappeared towards the back and Mai watched her carefully. Even the others were afraid of her, and they didn’t even seem to realize just who she was. Although they might have by now. Most people knew that Azula was someone to be feared just by the way she stood. Azula emerged without an apron on and smiled at Ty Lee. She exchanged a glance with Mai before sitting down.

“I know I’m late Ty. I just lost track of time.” Azula didn’t apologize, because her uncle clearly had no experience or knowledge when it came to running a business. It had taken her nearly all day to just undo the damage he had done in a few years.

“What were you doing back there Zula? You’re almost never back there.”

“Oh, I got promoted.” Azula said it as if it meant nothing. She had been slightly excited and pleased by the attention she was getting from their Uncle that Zuko wouldn’t be getting anymore. She did love taking things from Zuko. Ty Lee’s face lit up as soon as she heard the news. She knew that Azula had thought that Iroh disapproved of her for almost her entire life, and Ty Lee had always said that there was no way that he could disapprove of her. And now she knew that it was true. Azula’s talents were just too amazing to ignore, and Ty Lee knew it was only a matter of time before her family appreciated her in one form or another.

“Oh yay! I’m happy for you Azula. I know how bored you get here.” Ty Lee smiled from ear to ear and Mai remained her normal emotionless self.

“I don’t see how she can be so bored. Anything must be better than how it was before.” Azula scowled at her. Ty Lee didn’t know why Mai felt like she should start things up again. They had at least seemed to be tolerating each other.

 

~

_“Explain to me why you like him again?” Azula still couldn’t fathom why her friend liked her silly older brother. She had known since they were children, and the fact that Mai was actually upset that he was leaving confused her._

_“I don’t know Azula. I mean, he’s handsome and he’s a Prince and he’s broody like me. I don’t really even know why I like him. I don’t even know if I do like him. I don’t know why you think I’m upset over this.” Mai wasn’t all that upset. She had seen the look on Azula’s face when she talked about it. Like she was glad. But she saw the slight pain in her eyes. Mai knew she cared. Azula had gotten Zuko one of the finest ships money could buy with her own saved up money. She had made sure he had a crew, and had even met with her Uncle to make sure he was going with Zuko. Most people would think it was because her sister had asked that kind of favor from Azula. But that hadn’t been it. Maddie hadn’t asked for a single favor. Azula had done all of it without even talking to Zuko about it. For all he knew, their father had arranged it. But he knew better, and she knew better. Their father would never do something like that not even for her. He had three heirs and all of them were disposable in his opinion._

_“He’s an annoying bastard if you ask me. A foolish accident from a night of one too many shots between the two of our parents.” Azula couldn’t believe the words that came out of her mouth. She knew she was capable of that kind of venom, but at the same time she still couldn’t believe it. She had done so much for him. She had tried to warn him about their father killing him, even if it was in a teasing manner. She tried to get him to realize his obvious feelings for Mai. She tried to tell him that mom was gone and never coming back, but he didn’t believe her. She had made sure he would set sail with only the finest, knowing that he would never acknowledge or thank her for it. She had tried, especially when they were younger, to bond with him. But every time she thought of him, the painful words came to her mind._

_Azula always lies._

_Why he thought that was beyond her. She told the truth and it was often too much for him to handle. That father didn’t love him, not even a little. But in her heart, she knew he didn’t love her either. She didn’t want it to be so, but she knew he had only ever loved their mother. She told him that Uncle was just replacing Lu Ten when he was with him. And she was right, he truly was just trying to replace the son he would never be able to get back. She told him that Mai really liked him. He told her that she was a liar. But she really thought that she did. She told him that if he practiced his basic forms more, he would be a much better Firebender and father would take notice. And it was true, his forms were very sloppy. She told him that if he just came to peace with things, someday he would be able to use lightning. And she truly believed that he would be able to someday. Azula rarely ever lied. Only when there were no other options._

 

~

“Azula,” Mai hesitated as she looked down at her. Azula was sitting outside on the back porch of the house while Ty Lee and her Uncle worked on the dishes. Mai rarely ever hesitated, rarely ever faltered. But something about Azula made her cringe. Like Azula could see straight to her very soul and see her deepest darkest secrets.

“Mai.” Mai slowly sat down next to Azula. Azula didn’t look over, didn’t even seem to notice she existed. She mostly just annoyed her. But part of her missed her old friend so she didn’t move to get up or say anything.

“I’m leaving tomorrow morning. I will be going to the palace to visit your sister for a day and then returning to the Fire Nation.”

“I’m sure Ty Lee will miss you.” Azula didn’t look over. She didn’t want to bother. She knew Mai was trying to play nice for Ty Lee and Zuko, not because she actually wanted to. Or maybe she actually wanted something, like for Azula to work towards peace. Azula wasn’t going to give anything to Mai. As much as she sometimes missed her, she wasn’t going to give in. She didn’t have a real reason to have betrayed her other than being a lovesick puppy, following her master around eagerly. And Azula had no time for that. She hadn’t even acted that way when Azula had been her leader. And it bothered her that Zuko had something that Azula couldn’t.

“Azula, I think it would be best if we call a truce. Even if it’s only for Ty Lee.” Azula looked over finally. She could hear Ty Lee laughing in the background and she knew how happy it would make her if she did at least pretend to makeup with the knife thrower. She could almost imagine what kind of reward she would get. And she knew that Elyon would report it as “monumental progress” and that she was finally “learning to forgive all those who had wronged her”. And if she really wanted she could play it up and get on a ship to the Fire Nation to “formally forgive her brother”. An opportunity like this was too good to pass up. But she mostly knew that Ty Lee would be incredibly pleased. All angles were a win for her.

“I suppose. Although I don’t know why you would think you would get off that easily after what you’ve done,” she said firmly. Mai didn’t say anything for awhile. She looked as if she was contemplating everything before releasing it from her mouth.

“I regret that decision most of the time.” Azula looked completely dumbfounded as she watched  her friend try to find the words to continue. She wasn’t a very vocal person. She wasn’t known for expressing herself.

“I don’t regret it because I don’t particularly like the idea of your father burning the whole world to the ground. I think that was more than excessive. I think that if you had been a bit more sane like when we were younger you would have been the perfect Fire Lord. I think you would know how to handle this situation much better than Zuko is. But more important than that political bullshit is that I miss you.” Azula raised her brow in surprise.

“I suppose my father was being excessive. But you still chose Zuzu over me. I understand you were in love or whatever you want to call that deranged relationship but we were best friends since we were six,” Azula nearly spat at her. She didn’t want to think about all of the “good times”.

“That’s the part I regret the most. Most of the time I wonder how I chose Zuko over you. I thought that he needed me more than you did. I knew you were going to have that gondola sent into the water. I knew he probably wouldn’t survive. But you needed me more and I didn’t see it.”

“Yes well true love conquers all I suppose,” she said sarcastically.

“I wasn’t in love with him for a really long time. I started dating him because-” Azula looked at her friend as she blushed and stammered. It wasn’t like her at all. Something had to be wrong.

“Because?” Mai sighed and took a large intake of breath.

“For a long time I wanted you. But I saw the way you looked at Ty Lee. I knew you were in love with her. So I thought-”

“That you could just have the next best thing.” Azula was truly astonished. She knew that Mai had considered her to be her best friend. But Azula always thought Mai was the type to go for men.

“Yeah that’s what I thought. And then at some point I actually fell in love with him. And that’s the only reason I betrayed you.”

“Are you sure you love him?” Mai looked a little sad.

“There are many things I love about him.”

“And that’s enough?” Azula had never known Mai could keep such a large secret this whole time. She was completely dumbfounded.

“I’ve never been one for emotions. He makes me feel and express more than most people so I suppose it is enough for me.”

“I’ve always thought you deserved better than him.” Mai smiled and Azula smirked back.

“So I guess you and Ty are a thing now?”

“Kind of. I’m not publicizing or anything.” Mai nodded. She knew how terrified Azula must still be, even though her father was gone and could no longer punish her for being herself.

“Truce?” Azula smiled at her friend.

“Truce.” Azula awkwardly accepted a hug from her old friend. They slowly started back into the house. That night Ty Lee was surprised that Azula accompanied the sleepover merriment. She laughed and smiled with Mai just like she used to, and she actually looked like she was enjoying herself. And at the end of the night when they were completely exhausted, both girls made a silent promise to actually attempt to write to one another, and at least try to get what they once had back.


	20. Chapter 20

Azula had hoped that most of the drama would just slowly disappear. That all of her friends, former and present, and her family would stop looking at her like she was a freak of nature. In all honesty, she just wanted everyone to leave her and her new life be. It wasn’t anything grand like she was used to, but she was happy enough. She was surprised how much she had learned to appreciate small things in her own life. She considered anything better than living confined to a cell in the Boiling Rock. She was finally completely off all of the horrendous medication that she had been forced to take and her mind was completely clear and calm for the most part. She no longer had any hallucinations and she was happy enough. The only annoying family member she had to deal with was her Uncle. And somehow he was slowly becoming more tolerable. Azula wouldn’t have hesitated to tell everyone how happy she had been to see Mai leave, making her life go almost back to normal.

Azula could have lit the whole house on fire when she saw the look Ty Lee was making. She was clutching the letter she was holding with great force. Azula was hoping that it wasn’t anything that would cause another uproar within their own little world. She hadn’t enjoyed the week of Ty Lee sneaking into her room in the dead of night after Mai had fallen asleep. Sometimes she wished that they could just tell everyone so that she wouldn’t have to give up her comfort but she knew how dangerous that could still be, even without her father out and about. Ty Lee kept her eyes fixed on the letter, the wind from the cool air blowing her braid around. She hadn’t noticed that Azula had stepped out onto the back porch until she walked forward a few feet.

“Is it from Mai?” Ty Lee looked up with a sad expression on her face. She shook her head slowly, not knowing what to say. She was rarely at a loss for words.

“It’s from my sister. She wants to see me.” Azula looked down at Ty Lee, knowing what she meant. How sad Ty must be because she would most likely have to say no.

“Anna? Your oldest sister right?” Ty Lee nodded. She hadn’t gotten along with any of her sisters but her eldest. The others had always harassed her and broke all of her toys. And they all looked almost identical, which didn’t help Ty Lee’s opinion of them. They were all just part of a matched set, and almost all of them acted exactly the same. Except for her oldest sister. She was kind and incredibly loving, although very opinionated. She looked a lot like Ty Lee as well, but she was always sure to never wear the same color as her other siblings.

“It doesn’t matter. If I write her back my parents will know where I am. They go through her mail from time to time and if I tell her where I am, then they will try and get me to come back. But I really want nothing to do with them. You know that.” Azula looked at the way her brows drew together in sadness. Ty Lee hated her family except for the one sister that she couldn’t see. Azula understood her situation and she felt a twinge of sadness. Part of the reason she couldn’t tell her sister where she was had to do with her, and she felt horrible about it.

“When was the last time you saw her?”

“Right before the Boiling Rock at the palace.” Two years. It had been nearly two years since she had last seen her sister. Azula remembered that she had allowed that meeting to happen, requesting her presence so that Ty Lee could see her. She had even sent Ty’s parents a letter stating that Ty Lee was serving under her and could under no circumstances go home until the war was over. They had heartily agreed, and had not asked to see her. But as soon as the war was over they had tried to locate her. She had felt so free when she ran to Kyoshi Island with Suki, although she regretted leaving Azula in such horrible hands.

“What if I have my sister write to her? Your parents can’t say no if her presence is requested by the Princess of the Fire Nation and a Prince of the Earth Kingdom. I’m sure they would actually be delighted to send her.” Ty Lee excitedly tackled Azula to the deck.

“Oh really Zula? That would mean so much to me! I’ll go ask your Uncle if she can stay!” Ty Lee bounded into the house and Azula slowly sat up. She was glad Ty Lee was so excited, but she thought she had successfully avoided all of the family nonsense. And she really didn’t need more family drama than necessary. She knew her sister would have no problem inviting the nobleman’s oldest daughter, but somehow no matter how unrelated, things always went back to being about her. She didn’t know why she attracted so much drama. It was probably some kind of punishment for all of the drama she started at the academy.

“She can stay, she can stay!” Ty Lee exclaimed excitedly. Azula smirked up at her. She could never feel too upset about annoying family matters when Ty Lee gave her that huge, grateful smile. For whatever reason she could never say no to that girl.

 

~

“ _I don’t have that much time. Azula needs me in two hours.” Ty Lee looked sadly at her older sister. They stood in the Royal Garden, watching the turtle ducks swim in the pond. Anna looked down at her younger sister with a smile._

_“I haven’t seen you in a year. I will take whatever time her majesty is willing to give me.” Anna was so different from Ty Lee and Ty Lee noticed. She had been groomed into the perfect lady, arms always folded perfectly, hair always perfectly cascading down her back. She always wore traditional red noblewoman attire, no matter what the occasion. Although an invitation to the palace was a rarity for anyone in their family other than Ty Lee. Their parents were called upon for court but that happened infrequently since the war raged on and Fire Lord Ozai lost most interest in it after Princess Ursa left. But Anna was the perfect child in most senses. Although appearances were deceiving._

_“I did write you silly!” Ty Lee looked at her sister as though she were crazy. Although, letters were by no means substitutes for the real thing._

_“I tried to go see you at the circus once you know. But mother and father wouldn’t let me go at the last minute. They had another line of suitors for me to look through.” Anna looked at the ground sadly._

_“Are they still trying to marry you off?”_

_“Of course. By tradition the eldest is supposed to marry before the younger are even allowed out into society. Although they did break that rule quite a bit. They think I’m turning into an old maid.”_

_“You’re only twenty one! I don’t know why they don’t understand that you aren’t attracted to anyone. Being asexual isn’t a crime.”_

_“I know, they seemed to accept your lesbianism quite easily.” Ty Lee giggled._

_“I’m not a lesbian silly!”_

_“You mean you like boys too?”_

_“Well not really.... I mean... I’m more like.... Azula sexual!” Ty Lee exclaimed proudly._

_“You always have fancied that girl. As long as I can remember you two were attached at the hip. And I hate to break it to you but they’re only okay with you being in love with her because she’s the Princess. If it was anyone else they wouldn’t have any of it.”_

_“I know... that’s why I ran away. They think I don’t have feelings for her. They think I’m just using her, but I’m not. I wouldn’t care if Azula was completely poor without any title at all.”_

_“I know Ty. I’m just glad you two get to be together again, even if it’s only for a little while. I know how afraid of the Fire Lord her majesty is.” Ty Lee didn’t like to think about how terrified Azula must really be. One slip up and she could be exactly where Zuko now was. Zuko’s banishment and treason made Azula the heir to the throne, but it could be taken away from her at any moment. Although her sister clearly wasn’t cut out to rule the Fire Nation or the world for that matter, Ozai didn’t really care about his heirs and Ty Lee knew it. He was proud of Azula’s accomplishments but that was the extent of his feelings for her. She thought that he might love Maddie, but it was only because she reminded him so much of Ursa._

_“I just hope this is all over soon. And then maybe someday, Azula and I won’t have to worry about the Fire Lord discovering us, and then she can finally relax for awhile you know? She’s always so tense when we’re alone.”_

_“You know I support you no matter what. Not because of who she is, but because you love her. And I’m sure she loves you too, even if she doesn’t show it. I know she can be cruel, and I don’t like the way she treats you all of the time. But she makes you incredibly happy and I know that. So I will always be here for you. All you have to do is write.”_

_“I know. And I appreciate that. And maybe if you are forced to get a husband, we can write with more freedom you know? And you can even come visit!”_

_“I hope I can fall in love Ty, but it’s difficult to find someone who understands that I’m not interested in sex of any kind. I know that I will have to produce children, but the whole idea still bothers me. I just hope I find someone understanding. But it’s not an easy task considering we live in the Fire Nation.”_

 

~

“Anna!” Ty Lee burst into the room and latched onto her sister as fast as humanly possible. Anna smiled down at her sister as she watched Azula slowly cross into the throne room.

“Presenting Lady Ty Lee and Princess Azula your majesty,” the guard addressed Kai. He nodded and shooed him away. Anna pulled away a bit from Ty Lee and smiled down at her. She gave a cordial bow to Azula with a smile and then returned Ty Lee’s affections.

“You two should go take a stroll through the gardens. They are really beautiful this time of year,” Maddie said smiling.

“What a wonderful idea your majesty. I think we shall take you up on that.” Both sisters bowed and walked arm and arm out of the room, quite giddy. Azula sat on the steps near Kai who was sharpening a knife.

“She is probably the only one in her whole family with a little manners,” Kai said as he continued to sharpen his object. He looked up at Azula to assess how she felt about the whole situation, knowing that she didn’t like all of the other opinions about her floating around. Azula looked at him with great annoyance as though he had stepped on a cat’s tail.

“She is polite enough. Her graces are some of the best in any court.” Azula truly didn’t mind Ty Lee’s sister, especially compared to the rest of their large brood. She just knew that most of their families real opinions of her were not high, but Anna was the only one to verbalize it to Ty Lee. Azula wasn’t sure if that made her the best family member or the worst.

 

~

“She is treating you well then?” Anna looked at her sister skeptically.

“Of course she is! I told you she’s changed a lot. Just because her personality is the same doesn’t mean she isn’t different. She’s wonderful to me. I just can’t tell our parents because they think she’s still in the asylum and insane. Besides they probably don’t want to be reminded about the wealth I could have gotten them.”

“Are you kidding? They would be elated. They are still very much supportive of the old regime. They are actually sending money to the colonies so they can try and create a revolution around Azula. They want to push her onto the throne and throw Zuko off of it.”

“Azula? Why Azula?”

“Well they only have two royal family members to choose from. And they can either choose the one who can’t firebend at all or the one that they believe is slightly insane. But at least she can still do the thing the embodies the Fire Nation. If they knew where she was they would have already tried to convince her to be on their side. That’s why I’m glad you avoided contacting me directly. They would know you were with her and that would be bad for her, especially if she’s made as much progress as you say.”

“I’m glad to know that you’re helping us. I had no idea those kind of talks have been going on. I thought that would have calmed down by now.”

“Please all of the attempts on Fire Lord Zuko’s life have been from his own citizens. And most of the attempts are somehow related to our father or at least his money.” Ty Lee shuddered just thinking about politics.

“I’m only staying a week, but I just want you to make sure there aren’t any suspicious people interacting with her. I know you trust her, but there are so many other people that you can’t.” Ty Lee looked over as Azula sat down on one of the steps outside the door of the palace.

“I will. I’ll look out. I just don’t think we should tell her about this. Just to make sure they can’t accuse her of anything.”

“Just protect her Ty. She would do the same for you.”

 


	21. Chapter 21

Azula couldn’t believe how fast Ty Lee’s sister had worn out her welcome. Azula couldn’t deny she had been kind and polite. Her uncle adored her, almost as much as he adored Ty Lee herself. They would tell stories to each other and discuss politics. She watched as Ty Lee, Anna and Iroh laughed until they were crying and even sometimes she would join in with a small chuckle. But seeing such a happy, normal relationship between two family members made her feel odd. As though she was without.

Azula remembered wanting that kind of relationship with her father. Maddie, her grandfather, even upon occasion Zuko and her fuddy duddy uncle. And her mother. She hated thinking about her. She had slowly blocked her out of her mind. She had replaced all of the sorrow and anguish with the happiness she had acquired over the past few months. All of the late night giggling Ty Lee had done after they made love. The way her hair smelled when she woke slightly before her and her unbraided hair was fanned out on the bed. The way her Uncle sometimes smiled at her differently, especially in the shop when he appreciated her.

But there was still a hole in her heart for some reason. Perhaps it had happened when her mother left without saying goodbye. In her heart she knew it had been before then. Maybe when she had muttered, “What is wrong with that child?” Maybe it was when she read Zuko bedtime stories and stopped inviting her into the room because she spent too much time with her father. Maybe it was when she saw Zuko making fun of her because she couldn’t get along with turtleducks and her mother didn’t defend her at all. They didn’t know that a turtleduck had bitten her and she had accidentally burned it in self-defense. They never let her touch them again. She had never really fed them like that. And they just laughed at her.

All she knew was that it hurt her. She had read in books about mothers who had beautiful and loving relationships with their daughters, a bond that no one could get rid of. But she never had that. She thought that it must be fairy-tale, especially when she made friends. Ty Lee barely talked to her mother, as she couldn’t tell her apart from the twins who were dangerously close in age to her. Mai didn’t like her mother at all because she wanted her to be something she wasn’t. She knew that for whatever reason, she couldn’t have it with her mother. At first she had thought Maddie couldn’t either. But then she got a little older. She started walking and talking and her mother couldn’t get enough. Neither could her father nor Zuko nor Iroh. And her mother shared an undying love with her sister. Not her.

“Something on your mind?” Iroh looked down with a small smile. He sat next to her on the porch and handed her a cup of tea. Azula took the cup but didn’t look him in the eye. It wasn’t any of his business what she thought. That she even thought of her mother from time to time still bothered her. She thought she could come to peace with her fate, Ursa’s fate. But there were some days when she wondered if she could ever be loved, because her own parents couldn’t even love her.

“I know something is on your mind Azula. You have a habit of pushing your lips together in the same odd way your father does.” Azula looked out into the garden. She watched Ty Lee and Anna laugh together and she couldn’t help but sigh. Why couldn’t she be happy that she had that kind of relationship with her sister? That her sister loved her? Why did she need more than one family member to love her? Wasn’t she enough? Wasn’t Ty Lee enough? She could confide in her own flesh and blood, her own Uncle couldn’t she? It was the Uncle she had shot lightning into, but she had known he wouldn’t die so easily. She had known he would make it.

“This isn’t show and tell old man. As a matter of fact, I skipped that every time the teacher even suggested that silly thing.”

“Well I know you don’t tell anyone much about yourself. You don’t share your hopes, dreams, or feelings anymore. I know it’s because people have hurt you. But I have never been anything other than what you thought I was. Your tea loving Uncle who tells odd war stories and sends you dolls to give to your favorite friend.” Azula felt astonished that he knew so much about her.

“What makes you think I have any interest in telling you?” Iroh laughed.

“Because you’re bored.” Azula looked at the old man and chuckled. He certainly thought he knew her well.

“I think you have me confused with Mai.”

“I know what you think when you see them you know. Those two really do have something special. And you do have something very close with your sister you know.” Azula looked out at them and froze her emotions.

“I just wish I had something like that with other family sometimes. Not often but when I’m bored.”

“I always liked you more than your siblings you know.” Azula whipped her head in his direction giving him her most skeptical look.

“Please you worship the ground Zuko walks on.”

“I certainly do not. I love him very much, like my own son. As I do you and your sister. But you are my favorite.”

“If you’re going to lie, at least back up your lie.”

“I remember all three of you growing up. Zuko needed more help than you did. Maddie had you to protect her from the worst of our family. Zuko needed my guidance so much that sometimes I forgot that you needed advice too. But there was a key difference between you and Zuko that still stands. When I give Zuko advice, he shrugs me off and does whatever he wants because he thinks he needs to discover things for himself, often sending him the long way to the right conclusion. When I give you advice, no matter how little you have thought of me over the years, you at least ponder it to see if it will be of any use to you in the future. You always find the most clever and resourceful solution, unlike your brother and your father. And despite what you might think, that is what makes you more like me, which is probably why I secretly favor you. But if you tell your siblings I will deny it,” the old man laughed. Azula smiled and returned to her tea.

“Thanks. Although I suspect you of lying like the strategist I know you to be.”

“No need to lie to my own niece. Well, at least not this time.” Azula watched the two sisters laughing and smiled a little. She felt a little foolish for caring, but even if her Uncle was lying, she appreciated it.

“Your mother does love you. It may be a twisted, odd sort of love just like your fathers, but she does love you.” Azula sighed and looked into her tea.

“Thank you Uncle. I need to hear silly things like that sometimes.”

 

~

_“Azula, Azula! Guess what I just heard your mom say?!” Mai had rushed over like the best friend she was. At age eight she didn’t really think about the consequences of what she was about to say. It would haunt her for the rest of her life. She ran over to Azula and Ty Lee. Azula was helping braid the hair of every single one of the dolls she had ever given Ty Lee because that way the other sisters would be less inclined to take her dolls. Azula smiled, hoping it was something she could tease her brother with it later. Her eyes widened as she heard what Mai said. It would forever rebound within her own mind._

_Monster. Her mother had muttered that she was a monster. To her own servants as Mai was walking by. Azula protested. My mother would never say that about me! She was probably talking about someone else! No Azula, she said your name. She said:_

_“I don’t know what to do with Azula. That child is a monster.” Azula looked away from her friend and turned her attention back to her doll._

_“I don’t care. Why would I care what she thinks about me? I don’t need her. I never have. She’s a useless waste of space anyways.” Azula kept her head down as she fought tears. How could anyone love her if her own mother didn’t? How could her mother say things like that about her own child? What was so great about Zuko anyways?_

 

_Azula snuck into her room early to avoid her parents. She didn’t want to listen to them try to make idle conversation between one another when she knew full well that they didn’t care. She crawled into her bed and pulled all of the covers over her head so she could try to mute her crying. Her own mother hated her. She knew her mother didn’t like her all that much but she had never thought her own mother would hate her._

_Azula heard the door open and she wanted to yell at them to get out and leave her alone. The door quietly shut behind the infiltrator. A few steps that were quiet as a mouse could be heard and then a larger body sat on the bed and began pulling the covers away. She didn’t want it to be her mother. She closed her eyes as tightly as she possibly could. She heard a deep sigh as she was pulled into a strong lap and held tightly. She slowly opened her eyes and looked up into a familiar face._

_“I thought you left a long time ago.”_

_“I’m on leave for a few weeks. We’re going to start the siege of Ba Sing Se soon. You weren’t at dinner. Everyone was looking for you.” Lu Ten looked down at his little cousin with a great sadness in his eyes. He remembered when this little girl had been born. He remembered when he played games with her and Zuko, chasing her around, pretending to be from the Earth Kingdom because she wanted to pretend to be the Fire Lord. Tucking her in bed when she was too tired to continue. She had grown so much since then. But not as much as everyone thought. He saw all of the pressures put on her. The way her parents treated her. He didn’t like his little cousin treated that way._

_“Why don’t you tell me all about it huh? If you don’t I won’t give you your present from the Earth Kingdom. I brought you something really cool.” Azula sniffled and looked up at her cousin._

_“Mai told me something horrible today. She said that my mom.... Ursa said, ‘I don’t know what to do with Azula. That child is a monster.’ “ Lu Ten looked down at the saddened face of his normally very antagonistic cousin. Her eyes were completely swollen and red. Her hair was a complete mess, something he had never seen. She was even latching herself onto him. As though she was hurt. His brow furrowed as he tried to control his anger._

_“You’re not a monster. I promise. How could such a cute little girl like you be a monster? A handful maybe. Especially compared to Zuko. But you’re not a monster Zula. I promise. And the future Fire Lord cannot lie.” Azula looked up into the older boys face with hope in her eyes._

_“Really? You promise?” Lu Ten nodded very quickly. She smiled and wiped her eyes. He reached down into the bag he had brought and handed her one of the presents he had brought._

_“This is for your friend Ty Lee’s doll collection. And this is for you!” She took the doll and smiled and then looked at the packaged item he gave her. She slowly unwrapped it. She squealed in excitement. A weapon. A weapon all her own. The blade of the sword ended in a semi-circle, something she had never seen in any of her training sessions._

_“It’s called the Qian kun ri yue dao. It’s used by pirates. I bought one off of one. I knew when I saw it that you would love it.” She grasped onto him excitedly._

_“I love you Lu Ten! You’re the best cousin in the world!”_

_“I love you too. You’re a little short for it now but if you grow as fast as I did, then you should be able to fight with it pretty soon.”_

_“Azula honey? Are you in there?” Azula quickly hid behind Lu Ten as she heard Ursa’s voice from outside. He touched her shoulder gently and then walked outside. She crawled to the door to listen. She heard her cousins harsh tone._

_“You can’t say things like that! Azula isn’t a monster, she’s a little girl. And you have hurt your own daughter. If that was your intention, then you succeeded!”_

_“Lu Ten it was never meant for her ears.”_

_“And that suddenly makes it okay? You should never say something like that to your own child!” He was almost yelling at this point._

_“You’re right I never should have said it. But you see how much time she’s spending with Ozai. I’m just worried about her turning into him.”_

_“Then keep it to yourself! You are just hurting her, not helping her.” Lu Ten pushed past her angrily and stalked down the palace corridors. Azula held the blade close to her heart. One of her relatives loved her. Actually loved her to the point that he stood up for her. Yelled at a Princess of the Fire Nation for her. Azula ran over to her bed and kneeled by the bedside. Ursa had cracked the door a little to look at her daughter._

_“Hey spirits. I know I don’t talk to you as much as I should. But I just wanted to... well this sounds so stupid. I just want to make sure that the right person becomes Fire Lord in the future. I want Lu Ten to be Fire Lord. No matter what. So, can you just do that for me? Thank you all so much. I know you’re busy being all spirity and stuff.” Ursa smiled from behind the door. Maybe, just maybe, her daughter wasn’t as much like Ozai as she originally thought._

 

~

“You’re up rather late your majesty.” Azula looked up at Anna. She didn’t know why she sat on the porch so much. The temperature wasn’t to her liking. But she felt freer outside, having been in a nut house for almost two years. No one had called her “your majesty” since her days in the asylum. Most of them called her “your highness” or “your majesty” out of respect for the old regime. Most of them weren’t happy with Zuko.

“I can’t sleep recently. I feel something coming in the air. It sounds insane but everything has been going well for me for much too long now.” Anna sat next to the Princess elegantly, looking up into the night sky.

“Hopefully your brother the Fire Lord will fix whatever problems there are in the colonies and within the Fire Nation, and you will be left alone. And you and my sister can be in peace.”

“I doubt we’ll be that lucky. I heard a little about the plots to take Zuko out of power, even if it is by just putting my powerless father back on the throne until they locate me.” Anna sighed. She had no idea the Princess had been so perceptive even from her jail cell.

“You think that Mai and I discussed the weather when she visited me in the asylum? I’m not as sheltered as you think. I don’t know if any of it is still circulating. I truly hope it isn’t. Because I don’t have any interest in being Fire Lord right now.”

“For what it’s worth, you would have been a great one.”

“I have no delusions about your opinion of me.”

“I know. I worry about how you have treated my sister in the past. But that is not who I have seen this week. I have seen a hard working young woman who loves my sister with all her heart. Even if she doesn’t say it.”

“I think I’m at the point of my life where I just want to be left alone for awhile. I feel I have earned at least that after a lifetime of service to the people of the Fire Nation. A few years without any contact to insure my sanity isn’t fleeting isn’t asking much.”

“I truly don’t think your brother has a few years.” Azula looked at the young woman, knowing she was right. If she was going to help Zuko, which wasn’t very likely at this point of her existence, she didn’t have much time.

“I am aware. I don’t think his suffering is complete yet. Besides, I can’t save him every time he has a problem. Then he’ll become dependent on my opinion. Just like he is dependent on our uncles.”

“Just be careful. You could be on the throne whether you like it or not. You are the heir to the throne at this point after all.”

“Like the Avatar would ever let that happen.” Anna chuckled and Azula smiled.

“Just don’t forget her. No matter what happens.”

“I can’t.”

“Oh?”

“Because she has never forgotten me. Even when she should have. She still came back. I will always go back to her. Always.”


	22. Chapter 22

Ty Lee hated to see her sister leave so soon. But she knew that her poor, unfortunate sister would have to look through another line of suitors while all of the other girls looked at them with longing from afar. But something else was nagging her inside, something much more saddening to her.

Ty Lee had known for most of her life that she was in love with Azula. They were more than comfortable now, sharing everything with one another, including a bed. But Ty Lee couldn’t help but feel she was hiding something from Azula by not telling her how she really felt about her. She didn’t like feeling so sad. Azula wasn’t causing her any internal pain, but she knew there were several bad outcomes if she told Azula at the wrong time.

“Oh poor Ty Lee. I could never really love a traitor you know. But thank you for all of the sex. This really has been a lovely experience for me.”

She shuddered as she thought about it. Ty Lee frowned as she continued washing dishes, one of her normal chores she left for the morning. Azula was up by this point, eating breakfast in the kitchen before leaving to go to the palace to see Elyon. The normal activity she did every Friday. Ty Lee was going to accompany her as well, because she had been seeing Elyon more frequently as well. She had opened up about all of her family problems, her childhood. But she still hadn’t talked about her shameful feelings, the ones she repressed every time she didn’t tell Azula her feelings.

“Are you coming today Ty?”

“Yeah I’ll be ready in a second.” Ty Lee put the last dish on the towel and walked out into the living area. She never really liked Azula in green as much, but she knew that she was pretty no matter what she wore. She didn’t seem to glow as much in green, but she looked so much more healthy than she had in a straight jacket. That disgusting shade of yellow was forever imprinted into Ty Lee’s brain.

Ty Lee noticed that Azula was much more fit now that she had been exercising regularly. She remembered how difficult it had been for her to walk to the palace before, but now she walked in her normal, confident manner. Her princess status was obvious because of her regal gait. Her head was held high and most of the men who were in the streets stopped and stared at her. Ty Lee couldn’t tell if it was because they knew who she was, or if it was because they truly noticed how she carried herself. Either way, Azula commanded attention.

 

“Hey Princess, how ya been?” Toph yelled from the other end of the courtyard. Azula smirked at her from afar, taking delight in her new friend.

“I’ve been worse. How about you and your students?”

“Oh they’re being shit heads as usual. Not as bad as Ellie’s students lately, but at least hers aren’t as disobedient. I wish you could show up for a day to teach them a lesson. They would be scared shitless by your firebending.”

“I would be honored to be invited. I could give a fire and lightning demonstration and threaten them a little bit with my insane wrath.”

“I love it! I will be kidnapping you from your uncle one of these days so you can scare them shitless. I really look forward to it!”

“Now Toph that isn’t very nice. I told you positive reinforcement is better than scaring them.”

“You’re starting to sound like the Sugar Queen. Please don’t start getting preachy

with me about teaching styles. You can teach your softie way and I’ll teach my way. Rock is supposed to be difficult. I thought you would have learned that from watching me teach Aang.” Elyon shook her head as she smiled down at her friend. Azula felt a little sorry for the poor girl hitting on a girl who could possibly not be gay or even bisexual.

 

~

_Azula looked at her friend as she nervously crawled onto her own bed, all of the doors closed, all of the windows locked. Ty Lee didn’t want any of her sisters to hear what she was about to tell Azula. She hated how they teased her already. She didn’t need them to add to the situation she already found herself in. She needed advice from Azula because she didn’t know how she felt. She didn’t know at such a young age that her hormones were raging, being only twelve years old. She didn’t know that being confused was very normal and that seeking advice from another twelve year old, especially Azula, wasn’t the best idea._

_“You know Lee right?” Azula looked at her friend skeptically. She didn’t like that she was talking about a boy. She rarely remembered boys names, and she didn’t like it._

_“Which one? There are probably a hundred different Lee’s in the boys academy_

_and probably thousands in the Fire Nation. You will have to be a bit more specific.”_

_“The one in the band!” Ty Lee felt very nervous. She didn’t know how Azula was going to react. Perhaps she should have talked to Mai or Anna. Although Anna didn’t seem to have any interest in either gender, ignoring everyone, even though she was much older than her. And Mai only seemed to have eyes for Zuko._

_“Oh yes that total geek who’s been trailing you for weeks now. What about him?”_

_Azula was already becoming tired of this subject. All boys were complete losers just like her brother, and she knew they were generally all equally boring. Most girls didn’t fascinate her either, being too catty or boring for her attentions._

_“Well, he.... he...”_

_“He what? Out with it Ty!”_

_“He kissed me!” Ty Lee stuttered, exasperated. Azula’s gaze turned hostile._

_Someone had taken Ty Lee’s first kiss. He hadn’t asked her for her permission! Had the boy no manners? Ty Lee belonged to Azula, just as Mai did. Everyone in the Fire Nation who was up to date on politics knew of her possessive nature. How dare he? She wouldn’t have granted him permission anyway. No one was worthy of her Ty Lee._

_“Did you like it?”_

_“I-i don’t know! I didn’t hate it. I just thought there would be some more excitement. I thought there would be something more-” Azula leaned over and pushed her lips on Ty Lee’s. She didn’t know what had gotten into her. She didn’t like the idea of someone else taking her first kiss, and she didn’t even know if she liked it for that matter! Ty Lee was astonished at first. But then she relaxed. It had been what she had secretly wanted ever since they were seven years old. She felt a rush of heat. Such an innocent kiss, but she could feel a fire in her loins, something she had been taught was dirty until marriage. But she didn’t feel dirty, she felt perfect. Azula felt as though she was soaring. She felt finally perfect, dizzy, hot. She didn’t know how to process all of it. She pulled away slowly._

_“I think it was supposed to feel like that Zula,” Ty Lee said breathlessly. Azula_

_blushed, not knowing what to say next. She awkwardly smiled and looked away._

_“Zula, what’s wrong?” She looked Ty Lee dead in the eyes, panic growing within her own. She gulped loudly before she spoke._

_“I think I’m fucking queer.”_

 

~

“Now Azula you’ve been making great progress, but I don’t think that I can clear

you until we’ve talked about more personal issues. You haven’t talked about your family or even about the nature of your relationship with Ty Lee, and I think it would be beneficial.”

“No.” Elyon sighed. She had anticipated this problem. Azula sat with her arms crossed and her normal condescending stare. She wished that Toph was allowed to assist her. She thought Toph would be able to relate to her more.

“Azula I can’t pass you and send you home unless you talk about it.”

“Are you going to make Ty Lee talk about her family? And me?”

“She’s already talked plenty about you, but yes I will be making her talk about her family. I know that it’s a sensitive subject for both of you, but I think it would be helpful.” Azula wondered how much Ty Lee had disclosed. She bet she had told her everything. Mostly because Ty Lee had always wanted to share their relationship with someone, but also because she avoided talking about her family almost as much as she did.

“Is there anyone you would rather start talking about? Someone easier to talk about? We don’t have to start with your parents right away.”

“I’ve already told you I don’t want to disclose my personal feelings with you.”

“Then you can be shamed forever. Your whole nation will think you’re a mental patient for the rest of your life.” Azula looked down. She didn’t want to talk about it.

“Fine.” Azula grudgingly agreed to disclose. She thought about people it would be safe to talk about. Elyon could feel that there would be a long silence. But Azula looked up, looking wearily.

“We can talk about my sister or my cousin. Take your pick.” Elyon smiled. Azula made lots of baby steps, whether she wanted to admit it or not. Elyon knew that Azula was trying to prolong her time in the Earth Kingdom at this point, as she did not want to go back and face all of the shame. And all of the hurt from her childhood.

“How about we talk about your sister first, and then your cousin?”

“What do you want to know about my sister?” Azula knew she probably wanted to know about the relationship she had with her. But she would over analyze it, twist it into something it wasn’t. She had always had a close relationship with her sister, unlike Zuko.

“Well tell me about how you two have gotten along over your lifetimes.”

“I was two when she was born. A scrawny little thing. No one took much interest in her. She sniffed and cried a lot. I was the only one who paid attention to her at first. Ursa said I was amazed by her frailty. I remember hearing that our father thought she was a nonbender and was going to cast her out of the palace. But sure enough when I was tickling her that very day she sneezed fire out of her nose. And we got to keep her.”

“Have you always had a good relationship with her?”

“Yes. Unlike Zuko, she has always worshipped me. When she started to walk she followed me around constantly like a turtleduck follows its mother. No matter how many of her dolls I burned she never cried or complained. She just smiled and clapped.”

“What about when your mother left?”

“She cried a lot. I would let her sleep with me every night so she could feel safe. I helped her do all the things Ursa had helped her with before. When she fell, I would bandage her. I helped her through school and firebending. I wouldn’t let her have another tutor and father had no problem with it. I taught her all about politics, military, nobility-”

“So you took on the role of mother?” Azula was shocked about being interrupted. And she was even more shocked that the airbender was right. She had done everything for Maddie. As soon as Ursa left, they had stopped having fun together. Azula had to be an authority figure in Maddie’s life. Ozai let her get away with whatever she wanted.

“I suppose so. I never thought of it that way.”

“Did you do even more when Zuko and Iroh left?”

“She was distraught, for reasons I will never understand. She started skipping school and just staying in bed all day. I had to set a fire under her ass, figuratively speaking. I would have literally done it if she hadn’t gotten up. I had to help motivate her. I even helped her with her homework. She became very depressed.”

“You took on a lot more than most sisters should. Did it affect your relationship?”

“In some ways I suppose. We didn’t do fun things together anymore. I was so busy worrying about what she should be doing that we lost some of our sisterly relationship.”

“I think you know what you need to do. I think you should focus on doing something fun with her. At least once a week. Now, I never knew you had a cousin. Do you want to talk about him now or later?”

“Next time. I’m pretty sure you still have to interview Ty Lee and Agni knows how long that’s going to take. And I would rather spend time with Toph than continue discussing my family life.”

“Alright Azula have it your way.”

“No matter what you might think of me, I always get my way. No one can stop me once I truly want something.”


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Author’s note: I’m sorry that I haven’t written a chapter in a long time!! Since March actually… lord that’s terrible. But it’s mostly because I forgot that I had chapter 22 all written and I’ve been waiting for all of the installments of The Search so that I could plan how I want this to go. There was a nasty rumor on tumblr that Azula was supposed to die in the last book, but since she didn’t so now I can do everything I was planning on doing. I have no idea how it’s going to resolve yet but I’m not sure if it was meant to yet… anyways I’ve really missed writing! Also this chapter is probably going to be extra long because it’s part of the turning point so that I can begin writing about The Search. Sorry for the long note. Enjoy!!

“Hey Princess. There’s this party that Ellie and I are probably going to. It’s in the underground club scene of the city. I don’t know if you’ve heard of it or not. But I was wondering if you and Ty Lee might want to go too? You know since you’re not all bat-shit crazy and all. Plus Ellie says it would be good for you to get some social interaction, yadda yadda,” Toph rolled her eyes. She didn’t care much for Elyon’s psychological mumbo-jumbo. She thought it didn’t really get to the root of most people’s problems. Especially not Azula’s. She could see her new friend was improving rapidly but she doubted it was from Elyon. It was because of Ty Lee and Iroh, the people around her who were giving her all of the positive energy she needed to start over. Toph didn’t think that stirring up old wounds was going to help anything.

“Well I’m sure that Ty Lee would like to go. But the last time we went to a party we destroyed the place after so I’m not so sure we would be preferred party guests.”

“It’s not really a place you can destroy sweet cheeks. It’s more like a giant hole in the ground that was used during the war. It’s not like a permanent thing or anything. Besides it’s a club so there’s going to be lots of music and dancing, like Aang wanted the kids in the Fire Nation to have. I’m personally going for the booze.”

“Well I don’t see any reason why I shouldn’t attend and drink you under the table.”

“As long as you aren’t a sad drunk I don’t really care. I just don’t want you to make me cry too while I’m drunk because I feel like that could get messy really quickly. What with our wonderful families and all.”

“Noted. Although I can’t remember what I’m like when I’m drunk as I haven’t done so in a long time.” Azula vaguely remembered one of the nights spent at the beach with Mai and Ty Lee, away from Zuko. They were all completely intoxicated, the fire whiskey going to their heads far too quickly. And of course, being only two fourteen year olds and one fifteen year old, they didn’t handle it well at all.

“Alright. I think we’re going tonight so if you’re up for sneaking out we’ll see you there.”

“I assure you we will be there.”

 

~

_Why? Azula couldn’t help but wonder as she and Mai were crouched over, vomiting behind some bushes. Why had they thought this would be a good idea for them to forget all their pain? Having that conversation around the fire had make them think too much, too much about their lives. About themselves. Ty Lee held their hair gently, somehow much better at holding her liquor, although she was hiccuping incessantly. Azula had never thrown up this much. And she certainly couldn’t remember doing it outside. She just wanted to go to sleep, to escape all of this. To escape her reality. And she couldn’t believe she had let Ty Lee and Mai see her like this. The two people she had tried to keep and control with all of her might. She needed them to fear her._

_Azula? Azula honey what have you done to yourself?_

 

_Azula froze. It had been a long time since she had imagined her mother. She used to do it to comfort herself as a child. She knew that she made her a nicer parent then she really was. Yet there she sat, looking at her sadly from the rock she sat on. As if she actually cared. Azula wanted to yell at her. To burn her face._

_How dare she appear to her now? She had cried her tears over Ursa long ago, buried her memory deep, pushed far into the back of her mind. She had taken over the role of parent for her sister, stopped her needless childhood early just because her mother left to save Zuko. She hadn’t even bothered to say goodbye. And yet she had probably gone off and started a new life somewhere, completely forgetting about her two children. Perhaps she even got remarried and had more children to replace them. No need to remember the two fuck ups she had birthed right? She could just start all over, wipe the slate completely clean._

_She saw the way she looked at her. She patronized her. Maybe she even felt guilty for leaving her oldest daughter to fend for herself. For letting her daughter suffer through Zuko and Ozai. Abandoning her to realize that she was a homosexual. She wasn’t her problem anymore._

_Azula wanted to yell at her, to tell her that she didn’t need her anymore. That she had grown up just fine without her. That she was most likely going to be the first Fire Lady in history, as her precious Zuzu would probably fuck it up somehow. That she was going to be happy with Ty Lee forever, that it didn’t matter that she was gay. Yet just as she opened her mouth in fury to do so, more vomit emerged from her mouth. Ty Lee put her hand on her shoulder lovingly, and just like that Ursa disappeared. She vanished as though she had never been there, just a shadow of Azula’s subconscious. Azula slowly looked up at Ty Lee, who was drunkenly smiling down at her. She started to hiccup again and Azula smiled back._

 

~

“You want to sneak out and go to a party? Azula do you remember what happened at the last party we went to?” Ty Lee rolled her eyes as she continued to wash the dishes.

“Toph assured me it wouldn’t be like that.”

“I don’t want you to get in trouble Azula.”

“I won’t. We haven’t had much fun since we got here. I just thought that we should get out of the house. And you’re always telling me that I don’t have enough friends.” Azula crossed her arms defensively and looked away. She didn’t like feeling rejected. She wanted Ty Lee to do as she said.

“I do think it would be good...but….”

“But? Spit it out Ty Lee.”

“Are we going as just friends?” Ty Lee looked at Azula. She was tired of hiding. She was tired of feeling ashamed, wondering when someone was going to find out. She just wanted to tell everyone.

“We aren’t friends Ty Lee. I don’t think we’ve been friends in a long time.”

“What do you mean?”

“People who are just friends don’t fool around like we have for most of our teen years. Besides… I suppose I feel somewhat attached to you at this point.”

“So we’re going as girlfriends?” Ty Lee looked excitedly.

“Do you really have to label everything?” Azula snapped. Ty Lee’s smile quickly dropped. She managed to keep herself from tearing up. She was used to Azula’s defensiveness by now.

“I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry,” Azula touched her arm gently, “You can call us whatever you want to call us.” Ty Lee smiled again, embracing Azula.

“So we can tell people now?” She asked excitedly.

“Well, just the people at the party for now. I’m not ready for family.”

“Okay! We can wait for family! I’m going to go pick something to wear!” Ty Lee cartwheeled down the hall excitedly. Azula smiled a bit. She was a little afraid. They had waited so long to be together. In public no less. She had thought it would happen when she was the Fire Lady and her father was long dead. But here they were now, going to some odd underground Earth Kingdom party with two people she thought she never would have been friends with.

She went in the room and saw Ty Lee was putting on a similar version of the clothing she wore to the last party but in a darker green. Ty Lee always loved her belly shirts, no matter how much Azula disliked her wearing them in public. Although she didn’t mind seeing her toned abdomen. Azula picked something at random that she had for Earth Kingdom attire. She missed wearing red, but she didn’t need to draw unnecessary attention to herself.

“You should wear your hair down again ‘Zula. You look so beautiful when you do!” Ty Lee smiled at her from the mirror. Azula smiled back. It was almost as if they were young again and nothing had happened. She felt happy. It felt so odd. She slowly took her hair down and brushed it out a bit as it fell. Her bangs had grown back. Her hair really was beautiful. It had repaired surprisingly well for being in the mental hospital for so long. She couldn’t remember when they actually washed her hair. If they actually washed it. She remembered when it started to grow out again some of it had gotten knotted. She remembered her sister trying to get the knots out but they had to cut a large one out.

She carefully brushed it into place. For whatever reason it mattered less to her if there was any out of place. She used to obsess over it, sometimes she would be in the mirror for hours and she couldn’t get it right so she would wash it again. She had been obsessed with perfection. But it all seemed to fade away as she looked at the perfect girl who approached her from behind, hugging her shoulders. None of it ever seemed to matter when she was around. It was as though all of her obsessions disappeared.

The two girls used their skills to sneak out fairly easily. Not that Iroh checked on them anymore. He never thought of Azula running away now, especially since she was so attached to Ty Lee again. The two had mastered such deviant behaviour at an early age. They had snuck out repeatedly to go out whenever Ozai had said no, coming back just in time not to get caught. They met Toph and Elyon near the entrance Toph had mentioned. She hadn’t bothered dressing up. If she couldn’t see herself why the hell did she care that everyone else could? Elyon didn’t look quite right with her light blond hair and her dark green clothes. But it was the only way to sort of blend in, although as an air bender it was almost impossible.

“You too look beautiful! I’m so glad you came!”

“Thanks you two do too!” Ty Lee said.

“If I knew what the hell any of you looked like I’d return the compliment.” Azula laughed. She enjoyed her new friends sarcasm immensely.

 

The music was blaring in the large cavern, making it hard to hear anyone. The music was much different than it was in the Fire Nation. Azula was used to listening to formal music. But here, it was so informal. It was more jagged and rough, but much more enjoyable. There were many youths, all lined up to get some illegal alcohol. Most of the girls were hardly clothed, something Azula also wasn’t used to. Ty Lee was more than used to it because of the circus, but she watched Azula as she took in all of the sights and sounds. Azula smiled at Ty Lee. Ty Lee grabbed her hand excitedly and dragged her out onto the dance floor with the others.

“Ty I don’t know how. I was never-”

“You just kinda move! There isn’t a specific way to do it ‘Zula!”

The hours passed. Azula hadn’t felt like a normal teenager in a long time. They hadn’t been allowed to since the day on the beach. Her father had ensured that her childhood would be lost early. But they passed the time taking shots with each other, all four of them. They laughed and drunkenly danced. And she had lost all concerns about whether people knew or not. She kissed her in front of everyone. It was the most liberating feeling in the whole world, the most free she had ever felt.

Ty Lee and Azula had meandered outside. It was long past the time when they should have been home. They were just starting to sober up, and Azula couldn’t take her eyes off of her. She wondered if it was the alcohol talking or if she really did love Ty Lee.

“Azula I have to tell you something.”

“I have to tell you something too.”

“You first.”

“No you said something first.”

“Azula, I’ve been meaning to tell you for a long time now… I should have told you a long time ago… but I was scared… I mean we both were but…” Azula waited. She couldn’t believe she was going to let her say it first. But her eyes widened as she saw something dark approaching behind Ty Lee. She tried to open her mouth, tried to move to say something. But then suddenly it all went black.


End file.
